Letting adult children use vacation home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. We have a vacation house at the beach. DD wants to use it with her college friends. They are all 21/22.

My concern is DD is not that responsible. She failed out of college (while living with these friends), and is finally back in school (after two years, and at a lesser school). The friends are graduating, and she wants to take a week after their graduation and hang out at the beach.

One week won’t derail her. But I also feel like this is a privilege that she needs to earn and she’s not there yet.

Big no. This is beach week for students that already completed all work and know they are graduating-that is not her.

[Anonymous]

OP—it’s totally fine to say no. There’s no blanket rule about allowing children of a certain age to have access to a vacation. Your house, your rules. You know her best. If she’s not responsible, then you’re not comfortable with her there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. We let them use our second home at age 18. They are responsible kids

Not how OP describing hers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. We have a vacation house at the beach. DD wants to use it with her college friends. They are all 21/22.

My concern is DD is not that responsible. She failed out of college (while living with these friends), and is finally back in school (after two years, and at a lesser school). The friends are graduating, and she wants to take a week after their graduation and hang out at the beach.

One week won’t derail her. But I also feel like this is a privilege that she needs to earn and she’s not there yet.

Big no. This is beach week for students that already completed all work and know they are graduating-that is not her.

This 🤣
Ha!

[Anonymous]

My adult kids use our second home all the time. One lives within 2 hours and goes at least once a month. He has helped out on occasion with work being done on the house and helps get the house set up for the summer season. He's had friends at the house multiple times with no issues. Very responsible and treats the house as his own. The other lives far away but spends time there both while we are there and when we are not. Both kids spent time there when they were in college (while we weren't there) because they were working summer jobs in town.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. We have a vacation house at the beach. DD wants to use it with her college friends. They are all 21/22.

My concern is DD is not that responsible. She failed out of college (while living with these friends), and is finally back in school (after two years, and at a lesser school). The friends are graduating, and she wants to take a week after their graduation and hang out at the beach.

One week won’t derail her. But I also feel like this is a privilege that she needs to earn and she’s not there yet.

Maybe just make her pay the cleaning fee. Cheap as heck, she and her friends can split it, but she'll have some skin in the game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have vacation homes. Beach & mountains.

No child went alone ever under age 21.

No beach week kids liability too high.

After age 21 I felt mine were responsible enough to have friends at either place. They went snowboarding more than beach house.

Pretty much this. While they were still in college, one of us was there even if they were 21. After college, they could use it on their own.

[Anonymous]

I think you can say no. My friend's parents have a beach house and she isn't allowed to bring friends there. We are all in our 40s and more than gainfully employed. I think it is super weird, but it's their house, and their rules.