Letting adult children use vacation home

[Anonymous]

We have a home shared btwn 3 siblings. No one (grandkids) can use the house alone until they are 23 or older.
They have to pay a cleaning fee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What adults are doing senior week? Actual senior citizens, maybe. College students don't do a senior week.

My HS senior DD and some friends used ours during senior week. She's very responsible so we did not have any problems.

[Anonymous]

OP you're entitled to a preference. Saying no is ok. No explanation required.

[Anonymous]

pp again. saying less or close to nothing, except no, is better because you don't want to say anything too harsh. A no can be a simple no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have a vacation home, do you let your adult children use it (without you)?

If so, how old are they, and how old were they when you started allowing it?

What rules do you have surrounding its use? Can they bring their friends? Throw parties? Host senior week?

After 18 (if they are responsible enough) and no more than 3 friends. House has camera and security.

[Anonymous]

Yes. We let them use our second home at age 18. They are responsible kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have a vacation home, do you let your adult children use it (without you)?

If so, how old are they, and how old were they when you started allowing it?

What rules do you have surrounding its use? Can they bring their friends? Throw parties? Host senior week?

Had a rental house in same town once, and the teens were allowed to live there by themselves as long as they kept the yard work up and helped with renovations. Was only a couple months but they were 12,14,17 two boys one girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. We have a vacation house at the beach. DD wants to use it with her college friends. They are all 21/22.

My concern is DD is not that responsible. She failed out of college (while living with these friends), and is finally back in school (after two years, and at a lesser school). The friends are graduating, and she wants to take a week after their graduation and hang out at the beach.

One week won’t derail her. But I also feel like this is a privilege that she needs to earn and she’s not there yet.

Didn't she earn it by going back to school?

Not in my book

[Anonymous]

If you trust her to leave it the way she found it, it’s fine.

DH and I both had family houses we had access to in our 20s with friends. We never abused it. Cleaned, washed sheets, etc to close the houses. No parties but maybe brought another couple or two. If they aren’t going to do all of that, don’t allow them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. We have a vacation house at the beach. DD wants to use it with her college friends. They are all 21/22.

My concern is DD is not that responsible. She failed out of college (while living with these friends), and is finally back in school (after two years, and at a lesser school). The friends are graduating, and she wants to take a week after their graduation and hang out at the beach.

One week won’t derail her. But I also feel like this is a privilege that she needs to earn and she’s not there yet.

Didn't she earn it by going back to school?

Not in my book

agree. gotta graduate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have a vacation home, do you let your adult children use it (without you)?

If so, how old are they, and how old were they when you started allowing it?

What rules do you have surrounding its use? Can they bring their friends? Throw parties? Host senior week?

Had a rental house in same town once, and the teens were allowed to live there by themselves as long as they kept the yard work up and helped with renovations. Was only a couple months but they were 12,14,17 two boys one girl.

Wow, you let a 12-14 year old and a 17 year old live alone for months.

[Anonymous]

We let our kids use our beach condo since they turned 19, after Freshman year of college. Been fine, I mean I don’t love the extra cleaning to be exactly as I left it (like they take out all trash but don’t wipe out trash can). But they get a little better everytime and it’s a growth experience. They don’t clean showers at home but do there. We sometimes go together of course but they enjoy going with their friends and that is what it is for, to be enjoyed.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the child. You know your kids better...

My oldest son? No, I would not let him because he would turn the place into a frat house.

My youngest son? Yes, he has a nice group of friends who are laid back and clean up after themselves.


Oldest can bring a friend or two when we are there but alone? never. LOL.

[Anonymous]

We have vacation homes. Beach & mountains.

No child went alone ever under age 21.

No beach week kids liability too high.

After age 21 I felt mine were responsible enough to have friends at either place. They went snowboarding more than beach house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. We have a vacation house at the beach. DD wants to use it with her college friends. They are all 21/22.

My concern is DD is not that responsible. She failed out of college (while living with these friends), and is finally back in school (after two years, and at a lesser school). The friends are graduating, and she wants to take a week after their graduation and hang out at the beach.

One week won’t derail her. But I also feel like this is a privilege that she needs to earn and she’s not there yet.

OP, I was allowed to use my family's place with friends at that age with zero issues, and plan to do the same with my own kids unless they somehow demonstrate that they're not responsible.