Resources to help a 12 year old who just isn't getting digital citizenship

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is what I am hearing.

Teachers: your child is misbehaving and not following directions.

Parents: they can’t help themselves. Why are you letting them use a computer?

Teachers: using a computer is part of the curriculum. Your child needs to follow directions.

Parents: at home we never have this problem

Teachers: home is not school. At school we follow directions and learn according to a curriculum.

I can sympathize with both sides. However, the US education system has a known tendency to worship at the altar of technology and then find out it didn't help (or worse, hurt) learning.

Kids are goofing off on Chromebooks like mad. My high schooler is telling me that during the school day he is seeing my elementary school nephew goofing off (during the school day, in a better school district 10 miles away). Hmmm.

In general when kids are bored, I try to take it up as a larger issue with the admin/curriculum developing authorities.

I also sometimes try to identify a more constructive thing a kid can do without disturbing anyone. Free reading and Duolingo come to mind.

It is also true that some kids are bored because they aren't doing the assigned work.

--fellow parent

Which is easier to hide on a Chromebook than on paper.

PP. I have found that detracking was at the root of a lot of the issues. Unchallenged kids get up to mischief when given work that is below their capabilities. They also are mixed with kids who are openly disruptive, which is enabling. Chromebooks pour gasoline on the whole mess. It's not just Chromebooks either. Math ed tech programs and allowing phone use in class (for snapping pics and uploading assignments) are also issues.

Nothing to do with who is being challenged or around other disruptive kids. Get over yourself. Getting into trouble premeditatedly or by accident is a temptation and a challenge to most kids. It's the adults who are dumb

[Anonymous]

You would be shocked at the lack of technological skills among teaching staff,too, hence the comment above about kids not really doing irresponsible things. Lol- that was cute.

No really, all teachers, all ages. even millennial and Gen Z teachers have trouble keeping up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is what I am hearing.

Teachers: your child is misbehaving and not following directions.

Parents: they can’t help themselves. Why are you letting them use a computer?

Teachers: using a computer is part of the curriculum. Your child needs to follow directions.

Parents: at home we never have this problem

Teachers: home is not school. At school we follow directions and learn according to a curriculum.

I can sympathize with both sides. However, the US education system has a known tendency to worship at the altar of technology and then find out it didn't help (or worse, hurt) learning.

Kids are goofing off on Chromebooks like mad. My high schooler is telling me that during the school day he is seeing my elementary school nephew goofing off (during the school day, in a better school district 10 miles away). Hmmm.

In general when kids are bored, I try to take it up as a larger issue with the admin/curriculum developing authorities.

I also sometimes try to identify a more constructive thing a kid can do without disturbing anyone. Free reading and Duolingo come to mind.

It is also true that some kids are bored because they aren't doing the assigned work.

--fellow parent

Which is easier to hide on a Chromebook than on paper.

PP. I have found that detracking was at the root of a lot of the issues. Unchallenged kids get up to mischief when given work that is below their capabilities. They also are mixed with kids who are openly disruptive, which is enabling. Chromebooks pour gasoline on the whole mess. It's not just Chromebooks either. Math ed tech programs and allowing phone use in class (for snapping pics and uploading assignments) are also issues.

Nothing to do with who is being challenged or around other disruptive kids. Get over yourself. Getting into trouble premeditatedly or by accident is a temptation and a challenge to most kids. It's the adults who are dumb

I'm telling you what I know is going on. Kids are are silently misbehaving on the Internet without consequences. Because they see kids getting away even with "loud" disruptions.

In my school district, detracking is absolutely an issue in student motivation.

Elementary ed tech is often used to park groups of students while they wait for the teacher to provide appropriate direct instruction for their level. Even if it's adaptive tech, it's usually used more as a babysitter, not a teacher.

BTW, I don't have the benefit of living in an affluent DMV school district. We are in a "good" middle-class school district in flyover country. From what I read on here, DMV's best school districts have the same problems as my school district but many more strong average students and advanced students. Maybe your root causes are different but the behavior of goofing off on Chromebooks is the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is what I am hearing.

Teachers: your child is misbehaving and not following directions.

Parents: they can’t help themselves. Why are you letting them use a computer?

Teachers: using a computer is part of the curriculum. Your child needs to follow directions.

Parents: at home we never have this problem

Teachers: home is not school. At school we follow directions and learn according to a curriculum.

I can sympathize with both sides. However, the US education system has a known tendency to worship at the altar of technology and then find out it didn't help (or worse, hurt) learning.

Kids are goofing off on Chromebooks like mad. My high schooler is telling me that during the school day he is seeing my elementary school nephew goofing off (during the school day, in a better school district 10 miles away). Hmmm.

In general when kids are bored, I try to take it up as a larger issue with the admin/curriculum developing authorities.

I also sometimes try to identify a more constructive thing a kid can do without disturbing anyone. Free reading and Duolingo come to mind.

It is also true that some kids are bored because they aren't doing the assigned work.

--fellow parent

Which is easier to hide on a Chromebook than on paper.

PP. I have found that detracking was at the root of a lot of the issues. Unchallenged kids get up to mischief when given work that is below their capabilities. They also are mixed with kids who are openly disruptive, which is enabling. Chromebooks pour gasoline on the whole mess. It's not just Chromebooks either. Math ed tech programs and allowing phone use in class (for snapping pics and uploading assignments) are also issues.

Nothing to do with who is being challenged or around other disruptive kids. Get over yourself. Getting into trouble premeditatedly or by accident is a temptation and a challenge to most kids. It's the adults who are dumb

I'm telling you what I know is going on. Kids are are silently misbehaving on the Internet without consequences. Because they see kids getting away even with "loud" disruptions.

In my school district, detracking is absolutely an issue in student motivation.

Elementary ed tech is often used to park groups of students while they wait for the teacher to provide appropriate direct instruction for their level. Even if it's adaptive tech, it's usually used more as a babysitter, not a teacher.

BTW, I don't have the benefit of living in an affluent DMV school district. We are in a "good" middle-class school district in flyover country. From what I read on here, DMV's best school districts have the same problems as my school district but many more strong average students and advanced students. Maybe your root causes are different but the behavior of goofing off on Chromebooks is the same.

My nieces and nephews in a "good" school district in flyover country got a WAY better education at least through middle school than my kids in a top DMV district. High school is maybe more comparable, but they had opportunities about equal to what my kids will have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have had this trouble too. The school gives him a Chromebook and nothing else to do and then acts shocked the tenth time he does something thoughtless and dumb (never mean or threatening). He doesn’t misuse screens at home so I feel powerless where the school won’t do what I know works (limiting screens; keeping him engaged in other things).

Can’t wait for summer. No real ideas, just commiseration.

As a teacher, I will tell you that most students do not do thoughtless and dumb things when presented with a Chromebook. Limiting screens at home is not having the effect you think it is having. If you raise a child in a home with only health foods, they will gorge on sugar the first time they encounter it. The child needs to learn judgment and impulse control.

We are seriously screen limited at home. My kids' teachers never complained about their computer usage. They did come home with stories about stupid stuff other people did on their school issued laptops though.

There are other ways to learn both judgement and impulse control than unlimited temptation.

The teacher was talking about the extreme parents. The ones who remove all screens and think they are nothing but evil. Or the ones who have their kids in front of screens everywhere . Being in the middle is always best.

And I wouldn’t be so sure that stupid stuff your kids tell you about is “other people”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is what I am hearing.

Teachers: your child is misbehaving and not following directions.

Parents: they can’t help themselves. Why are you letting them use a computer?

Teachers: using a computer is part of the curriculum. Your child needs to follow directions.

Parents: at home we never have this problem

Teachers: home is not school. At school we follow directions and learn according to a curriculum.

But LITERALLY WHAT DO YOU WANT US TO DO? My kdi was awful in middle school with the chromebook in class. Awful. I BEGGED Them to take it from her. No amount of punishment or threatening at home worked. (She has autism, maybe that's why) But good lord what do teachers want us to do at home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have had this trouble too. The school gives him a Chromebook and nothing else to do and then acts shocked the tenth time he does something thoughtless and dumb (never mean or threatening). He doesn’t misuse screens at home so I feel powerless where the school won’t do what I know works (limiting screens; keeping him engaged in other things).

Can’t wait for summer. No real ideas, just commiseration.

As a teacher, I will tell you that most students do not do thoughtless and dumb things when presented with a Chromebook. Limiting screens at home is not having the effect you think it is having. If you raise a child in a home with only health foods, they will gorge on sugar the first time they encounter it. The child needs to learn judgment and impulse control.

I don't know that I agree with the part of this comment about limiting screens at home, but the first sentence is important. What about your kid makes him unable to handle a chromebook when so many others can? This site is full of post from kids talking about a tween or teen who is struggling in some way, and everyone just comes on and says, "take away the screens". Well, there have always been depressed kids, anxious kids, aimless kids, kids afraid to fail, kids lacking in impulse-control, kids who are thoughtless, etc. long before screens. Yes, screens and social media have the potential to make all those things so much worse now with a whole new set of more dire consequences, but you still have to address what is going on with your kid's mental health and makeup even if you take the screens away. How come so many other kids have access to the chromebooks and are not posting thoughtless and dumb things repeatedly? Even if he didn't have a chromebook, wouldn't he be behind his peers in terms of impulse control and the like? Limiting screens is fine -- but you have to address the underlying issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wtf you talking about?

NP.

Hmm - kinda rude and ignorant response on your part pp, but whatevs: try this on

How about your kids’ Snaps? Y’know the sexting ones? Thats child porn. And a felony. But they’ll be fine; they might just come after you ‘tho, since you own the phones.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the poster who said a lack of tracking and challenging classes is part of the problem. In my kid's easy classes they are so bored they turn to Internet distractions whereas in the challenging courses they're getting better grades because there's actual work with actual thinking to be done, along with engaging class discussions. Even essays written on paper!

It's not fair for teachers to have to teach the full range of remedial to advanced kids all together in the same classroom. When forced to provide "differentiation" it often ends up being individual work on the computer. It's hard to blame the teachers when they're given such a difficult task.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:we learn about digital citizenship together as a family and he demonstrates a full understanding of what it means)

I think everyone would like to know that as well. Can I just get a digital green-card instead of a full citizenship in the meantime, you know to try it out first before committing fully?

At that age, you won't be able to control his online access, he will know or learn more than you ever will to bypass restrictions, so just talk about the dangers of AI, honeytraps, and spyware-viruses, etc. as well as PERSEC rules.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks to those responses that commiserated or were helpful. I really appreciated the advice to have him make specific amends - I may use that. Right now we haven taken away all screens indefinitely, but I also really liked the advice that if we don't hear anything from the school in X amount of weeks/months, he may be able to earn it back.

I am grateful so many parents understood/related. To those whose kids don't struggle with this, or the teachers weighing in saying this is abnormal, remember all kids have different strengths and weaknesses and their brains develop at different rates. Some children will not struggle with unfettered access to the internet during instruction, but many will. A child's brain is not close to fully developed at 12. I am trying to meet my child where he is developmentally and help guide him to make better choices. I really appreciate the thoughtful advice as I try to navigate this with him.

Last note - yes, I am starting to think he needs out of this school. I have heard from other parents that this is a common issue, and this school seems to be one of the worst when it comes to complete reliance on chromebooks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks to those responses that commiserated or were helpful. I really appreciated the advice to have him make specific amends - I may use that. Right now we haven taken away all screens indefinitely, but I also really liked the advice that if we don't hear anything from the school in X amount of weeks/months, he may be able to earn it back.

I am grateful so many parents understood/related. To those whose kids don't struggle with this, or the teachers weighing in saying this is abnormal, remember all kids have different strengths and weaknesses and their brains develop at different rates. Some children will not struggle with unfettered access to the internet during instruction, but many will. A child's brain is not close to fully developed at 12. I am trying to meet my child where he is developmentally and help guide him to make better choices. I really appreciate the thoughtful advice as I try to navigate this with him.

Last note - yes, I am starting to think he needs out of this school. I have heard from other parents that this is a common issue, and this school seems to be one of the worst when it comes to complete reliance on chromebooks.

Slightly off topic but it bears repeating, no brain is ever fully developed.

It is continuously changing. Don't ever think you are stuck after a certain age, it will continue to change and you can train it and exercise it in ways as well. Neural pathways are always being changed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is what I am hearing.

Teachers: your child is misbehaving and not following directions.

Parents: they can’t help themselves. Why are you letting them use a computer?

Teachers: using a computer is part of the curriculum. Your child needs to follow directions.

Parents: at home we never have this problem

Teachers: home is not school. At school we follow directions and learn according to a curriculum.

I can sympathize with both sides. However, the US education system has a known tendency to worship at the altar of technology and then find out it didn't help (or worse, hurt) learning.

Kids are goofing off on Chromebooks like mad. My high schooler is telling me that during the school day he is seeing my elementary school nephew goofing off (during the school day, in a better school district 10 miles away). Hmmm.

In general when kids are bored, I try to take it up as a larger issue with the admin/curriculum developing authorities.

I also sometimes try to identify a more constructive thing a kid can do without disturbing anyone. Free reading and Duolingo come to mind.

Kids get bored at school, nothing new. Some kids hate geography or some hate to listen a teacher they find boring. This is middle school. They need to learn to tolerate not loving every moment of their day.

[Anonymous]

OP, you initially asked for resources on digital citizenship:

1. Common sense media has a free curriculum called "Everything You Need to Teach Digital Citizenship: Help students take ownership of their digital lives."

https://www.commonsense.org/education/digital-citizenship

"Backed by research. Inspired by real life. Our K–12 Digital Citizenship Curriculum was designed and developed in partnership with Project Zero at the Harvard Graduate School of Education -- and guided by research with thousands of educators. Each digital citizenship lesson takes on real challenges and digital dilemmas that students face today, giving them the skills they need to succeed as digital learners, leaders, and citizens tomorrow."


2. CyberWise and CyberCivics -- there are some free materials on the website such as the CyberWise Chats, a blog, a few free family activities, etc. Otherwise, the curriculum requires a paid subscription.

https://www.cyberwise.org/

"CyberWise is a resource site for BUSY grownups seeking to help youth use tech safely and wisely. It was founded in 2011 by Diana Graber and Cynthia Lieberman after they received M.A. degrees in Media Psychology and Social Change, a pioneering field that focuses on how human behavior is affected by media. They ​decided to use their academic work and entertainment/media experience to benefit parents and kids.

Today Cyberwise is the companion site to Cyber Civics™, the middle school digital literacy program taught across the US and internationally. Parents can learn more in the book by Diana Graber, "Raising Humans in a Digital World: Helping Kids Build a Healthy Relationship with Technology" (HarperCollins Leadership, '19)."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is what I am hearing.

Teachers: your child is misbehaving and not following directions.

Parents: they can’t help themselves. Why are you letting them use a computer?

Teachers: using a computer is part of the curriculum. Your child needs to follow directions.

Parents: at home we never have this problem

Teachers: home is not school. At school we follow directions and learn according to a curriculum.

I can sympathize with both sides. However, the US education system has a known tendency to worship at the altar of technology and then find out it didn't help (or worse, hurt) learning.

Kids are goofing off on Chromebooks like mad. My high schooler is telling me that during the school day he is seeing my elementary school nephew goofing off (during the school day, in a better school district 10 miles away). Hmmm.

In general when kids are bored, I try to take it up as a larger issue with the admin/curriculum developing authorities.

I also sometimes try to identify a more constructive thing a kid can do without disturbing anyone. Free reading and Duolingo come to mind.

It is also true that some kids are bored because they aren't doing the assigned work.

--fellow parent

Which is easier to hide on a Chromebook than on paper.

PP. I have found that detracking was at the root of a lot of the issues. Unchallenged kids get up to mischief when given work that is below their capabilities. They also are mixed with kids who are openly disruptive, which is enabling. Chromebooks pour gasoline on the whole mess. It's not just Chromebooks either. Math ed tech programs and allowing phone use in class (for snapping pics and uploading assignments) are also issues.

Nothing to do with who is being challenged or around other disruptive kids. Get over yourself. Getting into trouble premeditatedly or by accident is a temptation and a challenge to most kids. It's the adults who are dumb

I'm telling you what I know is going on. Kids are are silently misbehaving on the Internet without consequences. Because they see kids getting away even with "loud" disruptions.

In my school district, detracking is absolutely an issue in student motivation.

Elementary ed tech is often used to park groups of students while they wait for the teacher to provide appropriate direct instruction for their level. Even if it's adaptive tech, it's usually used more as a babysitter, not a teacher.

BTW, I don't have the benefit of living in an affluent DMV school district. We are in a "good" middle-class school district in flyover country. From what I read on here, DMV's best school districts have the same problems as my school district but many more strong average students and advanced students. Maybe your root causes are different but the behavior of goofing off on Chromebooks is the same.

Not in the DMV, in the Midwest and I sub sometimes. This is exactly what I’m seeing.