11 year old not taking shower regularly

[Anonymous]

Get a shower wand. Shorter kids have issues with getting soap out of their hair in particular with the water nozzle being too high. The spray gets too spread out. Actual teach them how to wash their hair. How much shampoo to use. How to massage it into their hair and scalp. Kids don’t get that the scalp needs cleaned and wiping shampoo on their hair does not do it. A five minute lesson on how to do things can save a ton of grief. Do not assume they know.

[Anonymous]

This is so common. They go through this shower resistant phase and then they will be taking the longest showers ever and your water bill will double.

I'm pretty laid back, but bathing was not negotiable. I do think making the shower area easy and pleasant for them to use is helpful, but there is no negotiation. I let them know a timeframe, and if they haven't showered at the end, they sit and do nothing until they shower. I've only had to go there a few times, they may grouse going in, but once in they usually sing and sometimes afterwards will comment that showering is not so bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine did this as a younger teen. I implemented some rules. Showers must be taken every other day minimum and hair shampooed at least twice weekly. If she had a sports practice that day, that meant she had to shower. It’s just part of taking care of yourself.

This. We treat showers the same way we treat brushing teeth. Especially once kids hit puberty, it's essential for health and hygiene.

There are lots of things you can do to make it feel like less of a chore, or to minimize the disruption it causes to routine. My kid sometimes resists showers because, left to her own devices, she gets lost in thought in there and will wind up taking a 20 minute shower and then spend like 15 minutes drying off and getting dressed, and this eats up a huge amount of her evening. So we have a shower timer and a checklist on the back of the bathroom door, and have been essentially training her on how to take a 5 minute shower and dry off and dress quickly so that, like brushing/flossing teeth, it can be something she can easily accomplish right when she gets home or just before bed.

We haven't moved to morning showers (I actually prefer evening showers myself because I vastly prefer going to bed feeling clean) but creating a short shower routine will also help with that if we ever switch.

DD is also a swimmer and that has helped enormously because on swim days she showers at the pool and that lends itself to a short routine because she has to use the group showers and there's always a line for dressing rooms and once practice is over she just wants to be done so we can leave and get dinner or go home.

I seriously cannot tell if this is trolling, tongue in cheek joking, or serious. The amount of crazy I've read on here.....one really never knows.

[Anonymous]

What is on the checklist? What can you actually get done in 5 minutes, especially if their hair is long?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is on the checklist? What can you actually get done in 5 minutes, especially if their hair is long?

I genuinely don’t understand your question-how long do you think it takes to shampoo long hair?

[Anonymous]

This thread is scary. Two weeks with out washing your hair is nasty and unsanitary.

[Anonymous]

I am an outlier here, our 12 yo kiddo only bathes twice a week, but washes pits with a washcloth every morning that there wasn't a bath the night before.
I personally shower every day, but my spouse only showers every other day or sometimes every three days.

[Anonymous]

It’s always been a given to shower nightly here. But during a health and hygiene unit the teacher said people should shower every other day. And now 11 yo has started fighting me on daily showers. ADHD kid who I have labored hard to keep on daily routines and good habits, and who still plays HARD outside after school which truly does require a shower.

[Anonymous]

Why not every other day? In the winter doesn't your skin get dry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not every other day? In the winter doesn't your skin get dry?

It depends on the person. Everyone has different hair and skin with different needs. I rarely moisturize and don’t get dry, and enjoy showering daily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s always been a given to shower nightly here. But during a health and hygiene unit the teacher said people should shower every other day. And now 11 yo has started fighting me on daily showers. ADHD kid who I have labored hard to keep on daily routines and good habits, and who still plays HARD outside after school which truly does require a shower.

Same. And it got worse for a while when school got more demanding and they were up late doing homework. Would procrastinate shower while working on homework and studying, then when finally done and super late say too tired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not every other day? In the winter doesn't your skin get dry?

Because teens smells. They are active and have a lot of odor. They should shower daily. But I would agree if it is becoming a big battle and kid is over 11 I do think giving them some control over this prudent. Settling on every other day is an ok compromise

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an outlier here, our 12 yo kiddo only bathes twice a week, but washes pits with a washcloth every morning that there wasn't a bath the night before.
I personally shower every day, but my spouse only showers every other day or sometimes every three days.

Are you from the USA originally? Noticed daily bathing is not as common in some countries.

[Anonymous]

Bluetooth speaker in the shower will lure her in!

[Anonymous]

Seriously, set up a Bluetooth speaker and let them listen to an audiobook or podcast in the shower. I have ADHD and avoid showers because they're boring. And I lose track of time. Books help.