11 year old not taking shower regularly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it just laziness or not thinking it's a big deal, like how my kids won't take coats to school on cold days?

Or is it something more? This would be a small minority of cases, but some kids don't shower to repel others, because of a trauma or anxiety. They intentionally want to be unattractive. Obviously that would warrant professional help.

My daughters looooove showering (we have endless hot water, so they take way too long). One of them showers every day, and one of them is more grungy and goes every 2 or 3 days. If she smelled, I would say something, but she doesn't. I don't personally believe you need to shower every day (and especially don't need to wash your hair every day) if you weren't perspiring a lot and don't smell bad. But that *if* is important.

Mine did not take a coat all year but showers daily. They don’t have lockers, huge backpacks and they are a pain.

[Anonymous]

My DD was the same way years ago. She still doesn't like showers, but sometimes exercises first til she sweats, and then she will take one.

[Anonymous]

When they become the "stinky kid" at school, they might never lose that reputation, and boys will always avoid her.
Had one girl in 5th grade who came to school smelly a few times, and for the rest of her school years was called gross and stinky, even though she wasn't after the initial teasing, until she dropped out of school and went somewhere else because of the teasing.

[Anonymous]

Every day. My DD has a small water proof speaker and she likes to listen to music while she showers. Podcasts could also be an option if she's into anything specific.

[Anonymous]

This thread is so sad.

But is anyone surprised? There is a thread in “Relationships - Non-explicit” where a grown woman (a divorced mom even), said she “Got the ick” from seeing a date’s credit card and it had a floral pattern (gasp!).

No wonder so many of you moms are either horrified or completely clueless a teenager (boy or girl) might possibly be privately exploring their sexuality in private in a shower?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so sad.

But is anyone surprised? There is a thread in “Relationships - Non-explicit” where a grown woman (a divorced mom even), said she “Got the ick” from seeing a date’s credit card and it had a floral pattern (gasp!).

No wonder so many of you moms are either horrified or completely clueless a teenager (boy or girl) might possibly be privately exploring their sexuality in private in a shower?

Yeah, the bar is pretty low for: “I got the ick” amongst the sheltered on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so sad.

But is anyone surprised? There is a thread in “Relationships - Non-explicit” where a grown woman (a divorced mom even), said she “Got the ick” from seeing a date’s credit card and it had a floral pattern (gasp!).

No wonder so many of you moms are either horrified or completely clueless a teenager (boy or girl) might possibly be privately exploring their sexuality in private in a shower?

Um, wrong thread.

[Anonymous]

Showering in the evening before bed is absolutely not negotiable for my two Athletic boys. They are 12 and nine. I do think that things become easier when they are simply not negotiable like shower at the end of the day, wiping your butt and flushing after you poop, Things like that. You have to be careful in parenting to not negotiate things that are not negotiable. Things like hygiene are not negotiable for me.

[Anonymous]

My son is 11. It’s noon negotiable that he shower every night. He fights it sometimes, and I have to constantly remind him, but we don’t cave. I know some kids are more difficult than others but in confused how an 11 year old is getting away with not showering.

[Anonymous]

At age 11, I would try to work with her and not jump to “my way or the highway”. Or perhaps you have already tried that? I have two boys (12 and 15), who shower daily without reminders, so I might be off base, but if I were in your position, I would take her to Sephora or bath and body, or wherever kids go these days and let her pick out shower gels, loofahs, etc., get her a really fluffy bathmat and towels, shower speakers etc.

And I would try to find out more about why she doesn’t like to shower. Does she not to shower everywhere or just at home? Is she worried about privacy, does she share a bathroom with a sibling who walks in, etc.

[Anonymous]

My kid likes to listen to music while she showers. Consider a speaker for the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so sad.

But is anyone surprised? There is a thread in “Relationships - Non-explicit” where a grown woman (a divorced mom even), said she “Got the ick” from seeing a date’s credit card and it had a floral pattern (gasp!).

No wonder so many of you moms are either horrified or completely clueless a teenager (boy or girl) might possibly be privately exploring their sexuality in private in a shower?

I am confused. There are definitely threads on DCUM like you describe, but those kids are presumably showering more than their uptight parents want, not less. I don’t see how this thread fits that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so sad.

But is anyone surprised? There is a thread in “Relationships - Non-explicit” where a grown woman (a divorced mom even), said she “Got the ick” from seeing a date’s credit card and it had a floral pattern (gasp!).

No wonder so many of you moms are either horrified or completely clueless a teenager (boy or girl) might possibly be privately exploring their sexuality in private in a shower?

I am confused. There are definitely threads on DCUM like you describe, but those kids are presumably showering more than their uptight parents want, not less. I don’t see how this thread fits that.

Pretty sure this was meant as response to the other thread where someone was wondering why their teenage son was taking such long showers.

[Anonymous]

My oldest has severe allergies, and so we established pretty early that my kids showered before dinner. If they go back outside they shower again.

I have very food motivated kids though. They are like labradors, so shower than eat worked well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine did this as a younger teen. I implemented some rules. Showers must be taken every other day minimum and hair shampooed at least twice weekly. If she had a sports practice that day, that meant she had to shower. It’s just part of taking care of yourself.

This. We treat showers the same way we treat brushing teeth. Especially once kids hit puberty, it's essential for health and hygiene.

There are lots of things you can do to make it feel like less of a chore, or to minimize the disruption it causes to routine. My kid sometimes resists showers because, left to her own devices, she gets lost in thought in there and will wind up taking a 20 minute shower and then spend like 15 minutes drying off and getting dressed, and this eats up a huge amount of her evening. So we have a shower timer and a checklist on the back of the bathroom door, and have been essentially training her on how to take a 5 minute shower and dry off and dress quickly so that, like brushing/flossing teeth, it can be something she can easily accomplish right when she gets home or just before bed.

We haven't moved to morning showers (I actually prefer evening showers myself because I vastly prefer going to bed feeling clean) but creating a short shower routine will also help with that if we ever switch.

DD is also a swimmer and that has helped enormously because on swim days she showers at the pool and that lends itself to a short routine because she has to use the group showers and there's always a line for dressing rooms and once practice is over she just wants to be done so we can leave and get dinner or go home.