Getting kids (almost 3 and almost 5) to actually listen to books being read

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I started reading to my kids from the time they were newborns while nursing them. They are trained to relax and sit or lie still when I am reading to them.

This may not help the OP, but hopefully other new moms should read to their kids, twice a day, and show them the pictures, so the kids learn to love being read to.


You were reading kids books or your adult book to them? I can't fathom reading kids books to a baby. I am far too selfish. Maybe I am paying the price.


NP. Selfish? There are many fantastic children's books. I thought most people did this.

What did you read your newborn?!?!?!?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I started reading to my kids from the time they were newborns while nursing them. They are trained to relax and sit or lie still when I am reading to them.

This may not help the OP, but hopefully other new moms should read to their kids, twice a day, and show them the pictures, so the kids learn to love being read to.


You were reading kids books or your adult book to them? I can't fathom reading kids books to a baby. I am far too selfish. Maybe I am paying the price.


I never did that and my kids all sit nicely to read. I don’t think it’s your fault.

I think subclinical adhd is part of the family picture. When I say then run around the library I don't mean they literally run nonstop in circles, they run off and play with the kid's stuff. If I offer a book the reaction I get is "Meh".


Oh, it's about to get clinical, OP. Especially if the 5 year old does this and they're going to Kindergarten or 1st grade.
You'll need an assessment sooner rather than later, because if they cannot sit still long enough to LEARN, they will end up below grade level and then you've got a situation on your hands.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I started reading to my kids from the time they were newborns while nursing them. They are trained to relax and sit or lie still when I am reading to them.

This may not help the OP, but hopefully other new moms should read to their kids, twice a day, and show them the pictures, so the kids learn to love being read to.


You were reading kids books or your adult book to them? I can't fathom reading kids books to a baby. I am far too selfish. Maybe I am paying the price.


NP. Selfish? There are many fantastic children's books. I thought most people did this.

What did you read your newborn?!?!?!?


Brown Bear, Brown Bear: The Very Hungry Caterpillar, anything by Sandra Boynton, lots of other board books
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You are home with all day long and the only time you read to them is at bedtime? That seems odd to me. Read to them in the morning, read to them when you take them to the library (you take them to the library, right??), read to them while they're eating breakfast or lunch, read to them before or after nap time. I mean, ANY TIME, OP. Geez!

Also, where are you getting books and what are you reading them? At those ages, my kids LOVED books. There are so many amazing options!

They dont nap
They run around the library
I have thought about reading at breakfast but I seem to barely keep on top of the requests for more milk etc. It would be literally 5 minutes


You have a parenting problem- no child should be allowed to run around the library. Sounds like you don’t have clear expectations and follow through at home. Take a parenting class, read a book, you have to teach them how to listen it doesn’t just happen. Books are secondary.
Anonymous
What's wrong with 5 minutes? Especially if you're doing zero minutes now. Get Barnyard Dance or a board book like that if you don't want to do the longer ones I listed above.
Anonymous
I haven’t read all the replies but just saw that your hyperactive kids “don’t nap”. A 2 year old and a 4 year old definitely need to nap, especially if they’re hyperactive. Mine were always happy to listen to stories unless they were tired.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I haven’t read all the replies but just saw that your hyperactive kids “don’t nap”. A 2 year old and a 4 year old definitely need to nap, especially if they’re hyperactive. Mine were always happy to listen to stories unless they were tired.


A 4, almost 5 year old doesn’t need to nap. Come on, plenty of kids have definitely dropped the nap by that age.

Sorry OP, I don’t have suggestions for you. My boys are the same ages and also pretty rambunctious but have loved being read to since they were babies. We read multiple times a day. When they are acting super silly and running around for bedtime book, we do just tell them “ok you may either snuggle with dad and read or it’s time to go up to bed now.” They always choose to calm their bodies and snuggle to delay going up to bed.
Anonymous
The communal pre-bed reading routine was agony at my house: more arguments than walking off, but painful in any case. Inevitably, one out of three kids would end up crying or in trouble.

We switched to one-on-one reading, and it changed the dynamic entirely. The whole process takes longer, but evenings are calm.
Anonymous
Agreed. We do one-on-one reading at our house before bed and both kids are calm and love to read a few books at that time. But, we have been pretty militant about books being in the bedtime routine since they were babies, so it's ingrained at this point. They are 2 (as of yesterday!) and 6 (in two days!) I've also made it a habit that we go to the library each week and they each get their own bag to fill with books. They also see me read a lot and we have lots of books around the house, so reading is part of our day-to-day lives.

It sounds like the pre-bedtime routine isn't working, so I'd probably stop forcing it at that time. Try reading at breakfast - even 5 minutes is plenty for a few short books. The point is to get into a routine so they expect it every day at the same time. Try some books that are songs you sing along to - more active storytelling, voices, etc. to make it interesting.

Also, the 2 year old should definitely still have a nap or quiet time scheduled into the day. Also would be a good time for some quiet reading snuggles in bed.
Anonymous
Op, I’m not being judgmental, just curious. What type of parent are you? Do you follow through with consequences? Do they have any consequences? Do you get them what they ask when they ask or do you make them wait? Or have them look first? If they demand a certain color cup but it’s dirty, do you clean it or give them another cup?

Because sure it could be that they are just active kids who don’t like books. But from all the different things you’ve told us, you may just need to tweak your parenting strategy so that they know that they can’t call the shots all the time.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Unpopular opinion, but if it’s not working for you it’s okay to stop for a while. They’ll still learn to read and stuff.


This was my feeling too. Every kid is not the same at every age. Maybe it can be a special thing Dad does when he is home at bedtime? Maybe in 6 months they will be more into books? I would just leave them around with the toys and wait to have a request. I assume the 5 year old is in school and sits well for them there (you could ask the teacher) and just wants play time with his brother at home.
Anonymous
OP, can you read to them while they draw or play with duplos or whatever? They don't have to be sitting at attention staring at you.

What about a Tonies? Those boxes that read a book aloud. My dc was too old for those when they came out, but they look neat.
Anonymous
Books with flaps so they can participate and engage.

Better timing. For us, it was 1:1 with kid and in the AM when she just awoke. The other kid, i actually read books sitiing in the car with him (strapped in car seat).

Do you use silly voices when reading? Books with a conflict (some books are really boring when its just word salads/rhyming, tbh)? My kids liked Spot can't find his ball, etc as opposed to "let's count the fish in the pond- type books.
Anonymous
This is a parenting issue
Why are you reading to them at the same time
Why are the6 running in a library?

Get parenting help first

Ugh I hate parents like you lazy

Anonymous
What kind of books are you reading? Kids that age are not ready for Dickens.
Picture books, Good Night Moon, Search for hidden picture books, Harold and the Purple Crayon.
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