Living arrangement during separation, lengthy divorce proceedings

[Anonymous]

My sister’s cheating DH Refused to leave because he didn’t want the divorce. For the first month or so, She moved in with a friend who lived nearby. Her DH stayed in the family 5000sf house with the 2 kids - @ 12 and 15 at the time. her DH would leave and she would drop by before and after school a couple of days a week and even stayed overnight one weekend in their basement guestroom when her DH was out of town.

Then after 1-2 months they agreed on a temp financial agreement and she rented an apartment closeby and was able to see her kids almost every day before and after school. I think her kids stayed with her most? weekends. there was one big awkward encounter at a kids afterschool game and she decided to leave but all things considered, it worked out well-enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of this advice is so ridiculous. First, where is this 18 year nonsense coming from? Do you think I just had a baby and am getting a divorce right away? No - it’s a few more years of parenting and it’s going to be doable. The lawyers aren’t all upselling and dealing with uninformed clients. I am a lawyer myself but family law isn’t my specialty. I can easily read and understand all petitions/filings etc. I came here for practical advice, not legal advice from non-lawyers.

I'm divorced, but I didn't have this issue specifically so unfortunately I can't give you advice in that regard. But I just want to say that I'm glad for you and your kids that they are older (with one close to turning 18) so you don't have to go through many years of nightmare divorce co-parenting with an abuser. I hope you and your kids navigate the remaining years as smoothly as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of this advice is so ridiculous. First, where is this 18 year nonsense coming from? Do you think I just had a baby and am getting a divorce right away? No - it’s a few more years of parenting and it’s going to be doable. The lawyers aren’t all upselling and dealing with uninformed clients. I am a lawyer myself but family law isn’t my specialty. I can easily read and understand all petitions/filings etc. I came here for practical advice, not legal advice from non-lawyers.

I'm divorced, but I didn't have this issue specifically so unfortunately I can't give you advice in that regard. But I just want to say that I'm glad for you and your kids that they are older (with one close to turning 18) so you don't have to go through many years of nightmare divorce co-parenting with an abuser. I hope you and your kids navigate the remaining years as smoothly as possible.

OP now says she is a lawyer who needs budget advice

[Anonymous]

I feel so bad for the “attorney OP”
I am sure is all him! hahahah

[Anonymous]

I have never met an attorney who didn’t
love to argue and talk blah blah blah

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Speak with your lawyer first, OP, answer is jurisdiction and fact dependent.

I just want to hear what other people do and how it’s working out. I know someone who nested, but that wouldn’t work for us as H has a strange out of town work schedule. Plus I really don’t want to donut and 1 DC (almost 18) doesn’t want to see him.

See OP update. She hides her profession

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Speak with your lawyer first, OP, answer is jurisdiction and fact dependent.

Moot

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Speak with your lawyer first, OP, answer is jurisdiction and fact dependent.

I just want to hear what other people do and how it’s working out. I know someone who nested, but that wouldn’t work for us as H has a strange out of town work schedule. Plus I really don’t want to donut and 1 DC (almost 18) doesn’t want to see him.

It’s jurisdiction and fact dependent and a minor may not be able to avoid all visitation. Other people’s experiences are not that relevant to what you can afford, relationship with your ex and laws in your state or DC.

[Anonymous]

Just another troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You move out and make a 50-50 schedule for custody.

I got my STBX to agree to 57/43 because he's so busy with work and personal life. I also often get to be with the kids a bit on "his" days.

If you're dealing with someone abusive, you need to sell it to him as what's best for *him.*

[Anonymous]

What does he is abusive mean? Seems pretty much every man and woman says their spouse was abusive when they divorce now.

It is interesting how abusive has become a colloquial term that has kind of lost meaning. It gets used in a thousand different contexts now, often just to mean he / she didn't agree with me or he / she said something I didn't want to hear or he / she wasn't kind all the time or he / she didn't do what I wanted them to do,

Is abuse and abusive relationships a real thing - yes. But now it gets used so broadly I never know what it means. Everyone throws it out in a separation / divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Speak with your lawyer first, OP, answer is jurisdiction and fact dependent.

I just want to hear what other people do and how it’s working out. I know someone who nested, but that wouldn’t work for us as H has a strange out of town work schedule. Plus I really don’t want to donut and 1 DC (almost 18) doesn’t want to see him.

It’s jurisdiction and fact dependent and a minor may not be able to avoid all visitation. Other people’s experiences are not that relevant to what you can afford, relationship with your ex and laws in your state or DC.

OP said she was a lawyer and a troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of this advice is so ridiculous. First, where is this 18 year nonsense coming from? Do you think I just had a baby and am getting a divorce right away? No - it’s a few more years of parenting and it’s going to be doable. The lawyers aren’t all upselling and dealing with uninformed clients. I am a lawyer myself but family law isn’t my specialty. I can easily read and understand all petitions/filings etc. I came here for practical advice, not legal advice from non-lawyers.

This is OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel so bad for the “attorney OP”
I am sure is all him! hahahah

You’re not well…

[Anonymous]

Yes, go to your patient portal PP