Hurtful and disorganized therapists

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Living through 9/11 in NYC WAS traumatic, and the fact that you are quick to dismiss it suggests that you may have been encouraged to minimize the importance of your own experiences long before that.

Y’all are being overly dramatic. I lived in NYC through 911 and worked very close to the World Trade Center. Obviously it was traumatic at the time for everyone but resilient people recover over time especially if you did not lose a loved one in the attack

And people who aren't as resilient need therapy to recover

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Living through 9/11 in NYC WAS traumatic, and the fact that you are quick to dismiss it suggests that you may have been encouraged to minimize the importance of your own experiences long before that.

Y’all are being overly dramatic. I lived in NYC through 911 and worked very close to the World Trade Center. Obviously it was traumatic at the time for everyone but resilient people recover over time especially if you did not lose a loved one in the attack

I mean, sure. You either recover over time or you die, right?

Doesn't mean there aren't lingering effects, even for "resilient people", nor does it mean there's not trauma/traumatic effects to be dealt with.

Yes, you survive. Surviving and thriving aren't the same thing. It's okay to get help.

[Anonymous]

Agree with a PP who counsels (pun intended) that the therapist is just a guide & you do the work; that a lot of the goodness of fit is about personality although of course training matters; and that most good therapists do not take insurance. If you are in the DMV my (now retired or I would recommend her!) amazing therapist aunt said this was standard about 20 years ago (the not taking insurance piece). My brother who lives in the PNW did get a good therapist via his insurance but you have to get lucky -- and yes, do a lot of initial screening. I think the advice above to develop a standard intake form is smart. I empathize as I too have issues that were painful to rehash in an intro meeting and have had to find multiple therapists (for myself, my marriage, my kids) over the last 15 years. Hang in there! You will find someone -- it just takes a lot of work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there are more lesser-trained therapists than there used to be in the past. It used to be a good number of PhDs or at least masters’ - now it’s almost all LPCs. Not that there aren’t any good LPCs - it’s just more variable. And they have much less training.

LPCs have master's degrees in counseling.

The amount of training isn't the issue, though. I've had excellent therapists who were pre-licensed (supervisees in social work) and horrible ones who were PhDs with decades on experience.

The research shows that the connection you have with the therapist is a much bigger prediction of success in therapy than the person's degree or years of experience. It can take a lot of time to find the right person. OP, I don't blame you for being frustrated! I agree with the suggestions to ask your therapist friends for referrals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Living through 9/11 in NYC WAS traumatic, and the fact that you are quick to dismiss it suggests that you may have been encouraged to minimize the importance of your own experiences long before that.

Y’all are being overly dramatic. I lived in NYC through 911 and worked very close to the World Trade Center. Obviously it was traumatic at the time for everyone but resilient people recover over time especially if you did not lose a loved one in the attack

Not everyone is resilient, and it sounds like OP may have some things working against her there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there are more lesser-trained therapists than there used to be in the past. It used to be a good number of PhDs or at least masters’ - now it’s almost all LPCs. Not that there aren’t any good LPCs - it’s just more variable. And they have much less training.

LPCs have master's degrees in counseling.

The amount of training isn't the issue, though. I've had excellent therapists who were pre-licensed (supervisees in social work) and horrible ones who were PhDs with decades on experience.

The research shows that the connection you have with the therapist is a much bigger prediction of success in therapy than the person's degree or years of experience. It can take a lot of time to find the right person. OP, I don't blame you for being frustrated! I agree with the suggestions to ask your therapist friends for referrals.

That is so true! I felt that the two therapists I worked the best with really understood me and were able to challenge me from a place of caring. One was an LCSW and one was an LPC. Both were over 40 which for me (as a middle aged woman) matters. If I were in my 20's I'd be fine with working with someone younger. I went to a Phd once who was older and had many years of experience who I didn't feel comfortable with, some flaky/self focused LCSW's, etc...honestly it's really about the person and the connection you have with them. It's challenging to find a good fit particularly since so many therapists don't accept insurance which I understand on one hand but on the other hand I think paying $200/hour (or more) out of pocket is to me at least overpriced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, millions of people were traumatized— to greater or lesser degrees — by their experiences on 9/11. Would you really feel better by having someone NOT characterize such an experience as “trauma”? Not that I know your situation, but many people experience genuinely traumatic experiences as “normal”. A well-trained therapist, over time, would help,such people to recognize that they minimized their trauma — which often might get expressed in maladaptive ways. Not assuming that this is true of you OP — just startled by that example of a therapist that you had concerns about.

Psychologist. Beginners error here..yes some mininize trauma but also and this will be hard to believe but the data bears it out...many people experiencing the same event that might be traumatizing in the true definitive way for some, will not actually be traumatized. If she says she was not, it is reasonable for the therapist to accept it and move along to what she does want to explore. She decides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Living through 9/11 in NYC WAS traumatic, and the fact that you are quick to dismiss it suggests that you may have been encouraged to minimize the importance of your own experiences long before that.

Y’all are being overly dramatic. I lived in NYC through 911 and worked very close to the World Trade Center. Obviously it was traumatic at the time for everyone but resilient people recover over time especially if you did not lose a loved one in the attack

I mean, sure. You either recover over time or you die, right?

Doesn't mean there aren't lingering effects, even for "resilient people", nor does it mean there's not trauma/traumatic effects to be dealt with.

Yes, you survive. Surviving and thriving aren't the same thing. It's okay to get help.

I'm so confused about people telling the op she was traumatized. If she feels she was not, please stop presuming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, millions of people were traumatized— to greater or lesser degrees — by their experiences on 9/11. Would you really feel better by having someone NOT characterize such an experience as “trauma”? Not that I know your situation, but many people experience genuinely traumatic experiences as “normal”. A well-trained therapist, over time, would help,such people to recognize that they minimized their trauma — which often might get expressed in maladaptive ways. Not assuming that this is true of you OP — just startled by that example of a therapist that you had concerns about.

Psychologist. Beginners error here..yes some mininize trauma but also and this will be hard to believe but the data bears it out...many people experiencing the same event that might be traumatizing in the true definitive way for some, will not actually be traumatized. If she says she was not, it is reasonable for the therapist to accept it and move along to what she does want to explore. She decides.

Historian. This event occurred 24 years ago. The OP in in therapy--24 years later--and somehow it immediately came to be on the radar of the therapist as an event that the OP might be minimizing in her own mind.

How did that happen? What series of conversational moves occurred to put this on the therapist's radar? It is curious how absent they are from this story of the OP objecting to the therapist's interpretation.

Surely you will agree that the stories we hint at are sometimes even more powerfully explanatory than the ones we choose to tell at length.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Living through 9/11 in NYC WAS traumatic, and the fact that you are quick to dismiss it suggests that you may have been encouraged to minimize the importance of your own experiences long before that.

Y’all are being overly dramatic. I lived in NYC through 911 and worked very close to the World Trade Center. Obviously it was traumatic at the time for everyone but resilient people recover over time especially if you did not lose a loved one in the attack

I mean, sure. You either recover over time or you die, right?

Doesn't mean there aren't lingering effects, even for "resilient people", nor does it mean there's not trauma/traumatic effects to be dealt with.

Yes, you survive. Surviving and thriving aren't the same thing. It's okay to get help.

I'm so confused about people telling the op she was traumatized. If she feels she was not, please stop presuming.

Nothing in my comment said the OP was traumatized, so maybe that's what's confusing you? I'm not even sure I was responding to the OP. I was addressing the idea the "resilient people recover over time" which sounds good, but rings hollow. You can disagree, but it's important on a public thread to make sure that this "one size fits all" tone/posturing is addressed because not all people are resilient, and not all people who "survive" are really okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Living through 9/11 in NYC WAS traumatic, and the fact that you are quick to dismiss it suggests that you may have been encouraged to minimize the importance of your own experiences long before that.

Y’all are being overly dramatic. I lived in NYC through 911 and worked very close to the World Trade Center. Obviously it was traumatic at the time for everyone but resilient people recover over time especially if you did not lose a loved one in the attack

I mean, sure. You either recover over time or you die, right?

Doesn't mean there aren't lingering effects, even for "resilient people", nor does it mean there's not trauma/traumatic effects to be dealt with.

Yes, you survive. Surviving and thriving aren't the same thing. It's okay to get help.

I'm so confused about people telling the op she was traumatized. If she feels she was not, please stop presuming.

Maybe stop sockpuppeting your own thread and just go deal with your trauma?

[Anonymous]

i tried to find someone awhile back. Most places didnt return my call or didnt have openings. One I spoke to on the phone to do an intake left be in tears. She said I had "anxiety" after talking to me for 2 min, said "you clearly dont know what you want", and used super judgey language. Im a social worker by training so new what things like"CBT" meant but she just through around the terminology. I flat out asked her if she was diagnosing me after a short convo. So frustrating I gave up.