Hurtful and disorganized therapists

[Anonymous]

OP, millions of people were traumatized— to greater or lesser degrees — by their experiences on 9/11. Would you really feel better by having someone NOT characterize such an experience as “trauma”? Not that I know your situation, but many people experience genuinely traumatic experiences as “normal”. A well-trained therapist, over time, would help,such people to recognize that they minimized their trauma — which often might get expressed in maladaptive ways. Not assuming that this is true of you OP — just startled by that example of a therapist that you had concerns about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your last sentence makes me wonder if you're over dramatic and part of the problem.

OP was being sarcastic!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your last sentence makes me wonder if you're over dramatic and part of the problem.

Funny, it made me appreciate her perseverance and the fact that she still has a sense of humor after hitting a few brick walls.

Plus 100

[Anonymous]

Wait, you don't see 9/11 as traumatic for everyone? And it affected you enough that you apparently brought it up in your initial session with a therapist but you object to her calling it a trauma? I think you have something to unpack there. And I don't think it has to do with the quality of that therapist.

[Anonymous]

I went to one during a very difficult time in my life a few years ago, and she did nothing. I really don't think she wanted to be a therapist—maybe she did when she started, but she was definitely phoning it in by the time I met her. I noticed that almost every time I had an appointment, there was a construction truck out in front of the house, and she was having more work done on her house. Maybe that's why she did it, to fund her renovations?

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry OP. I have had similar issues. I finally found a therapist who I absolutely loved but he found a better job. And everyone else at the practice was under 25.

psychology today seems to never update their information-I filtered for my insurance, seeing in person etc…and literally everyone I called (probably 20-30) did not match the info that was posted. the insurance website was the same-not updated with incorrect information.

It really shouldn’t be this hard. It’s a very personal relationship and a good connection is needed.

[Anonymous]

^^ Yes! (OP again.) The search itself took forever! Some people don't even live in the area that they're listed under, and when you check via Google, there are often several locations for a person without a date to contextualize them. I agree that it shouldn't be so hard. I guess there's no profit in making it that much easier, so no one has come along to do it.

[Anonymous]

Living through 9/11 in NYC WAS traumatic, and the fact that you are quick to dismiss it suggests that you may have been encouraged to minimize the importance of your own experiences long before that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Living through 9/11 in NYC WAS traumatic, and the fact that you are quick to dismiss it suggests that you may have been encouraged to minimize the importance of your own experiences long before that.

Y’all are being overly dramatic. I lived in NYC through 911 and worked very close to the World Trade Center. Obviously it was traumatic at the time for everyone but resilient people recover over time especially if you did not lose a loved one in the attack

[Anonymous]

The best therapist I've ever had was an intern who I feel like can't have been more than like 25. It's really unpredictable and a lot of it is just personality fit.

[Anonymous]

You do sound exhausting OP, and maybe you aren’t terribly detail oriented if you didn’t even realize you had a televisit and not an in-person?

That said. LCSWs have been the best therapists I’ve ever had.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot seem to find a good therapist in DC for anything. This fall, I worked with someone who was disorganized and who, when I asked after session 5 whether she could share some perspective about what I was struggling with, told me, "That's not authentic to my practice." ??!! I had to keep reminding her by email to reschedule appointments she said she needed to reschedule and I learned quite a lot about her life in the 9 sessions I was with her. (There were many great things about her, too, but ultimately, her not being willing to share her perspective with me was a bit of a deal-killer.)

Fast-forward: I have initial consults with a few additional therapists, one who characterizes 3 things in my life as "trauma," even though one of them was being in NYC during 9/11 along with 6 million others; one who was eager to finish my sentences; one who, though not very timely in her replies, at least seemed okay. I went to meet her today to test the waters and....she wasn't at the office because she had booked us for an online session. My whole thing was that I wanted to see someone in person! This was after I filled out a super hefty, super personal form from her practice that left me feeling drained and sad. It may sound childish, but I can't go down this same road again with a therapist who isn't even in the office on a day when she said she was going to be.

Two of my close friends are therapists. I can grasp that it's a hard job, especially when everyone wants to discuss their feelings of political powerlessness and you have those same feelings. I get that the insurance process is crummy and you're frequently your own admin and no one is paying you for your sick days. But how is there a totally unregulated industry dealing with our most intimate feelings and mental illness? They're not required to have supervision after a certain point in their careers. Aside from Yelp reviews, is there any quality control?

And is there a reason that every therapist I've talked to recently has pretty much sucked? It was easier to find someone in my 20s. Maybe I'll just take up drinking instead. Less time-consuming in the short-term.

Yeh. Just drink yourself to death is a better alternative. Let us know how that goes.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you looking for therapists that take your insurance? If you are, in network therapists are not very good in my opinion. Out of network PhD therapists that are $$$ tend to be better therapists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot seem to find a good therapist in DC for anything. This fall, I worked with someone who was disorganized and who, when I asked after session 5 whether she could share some perspective about what I was struggling with, told me, "That's not authentic to my practice." ??!! I had to keep reminding her by email to reschedule appointments she said she needed to reschedule and I learned quite a lot about her life in the 9 sessions I was with her. (There were many great things about her, too, but ultimately, her not being willing to share her perspective with me was a bit of a deal-killer.)

Fast-forward: I have initial consults with a few additional therapists, one who characterizes 3 things in my life as "trauma," even though one of them was being in NYC during 9/11 along with 6 million others; one who was eager to finish my sentences; one who, though not very timely in her replies, at least seemed okay. I went to meet her today to test the waters and....she wasn't at the office because she had booked us for an online session. My whole thing was that I wanted to see someone in person! This was after I filled out a super hefty, super personal form from her practice that left me feeling drained and sad. It may sound childish, but I can't go down this same road again with a therapist who isn't even in the office on a day when she said she was going to be.

Two of my close friends are therapists. I can grasp that it's a hard job, especially when everyone wants to discuss their feelings of political powerlessness and you have those same feelings. I get that the insurance process is crummy and you're frequently your own admin and no one is paying you for your sick days. But how is there a totally unregulated industry dealing with our most intimate feelings and mental illness? They're not required to have supervision after a certain point in their careers. Aside from Yelp reviews, is there any quality control?

And is there a reason that every therapist I've talked to recently has pretty much sucked? It was easier to find someone in my 20s. Maybe I'll just take up drinking instead. Less time-consuming in the short-term.

Good therapists are hard to find. But … It sounds like the problem here is you; specifically: your expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your last sentence makes me wonder if you're over dramatic and part of the problem.

I hope you have the day you deserve, negative nancy.

Yeah, well, I had the same thought that negative Nancy had.