What to do with mean kids at school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a pretty crappy school. She needs to toughed up or learn to fight back.

It’s actually sad because it’s one of the top pyramids. Most of these kids are from pretty rich families. They all have the latest of everything. I assume the parents are well educated in this area. I honestly don’t know why some kids are so mean.

You think money makes people nice?

Did you not go to middle school in the US?

What I meant is that families with more than adequate resources and highly educated parents, theoretically, the kids have more chances to receive guidance on appropriate behaviors. Obviously, the observations made from our school say it’s not true. And it surprises me and makes me wonder why.

They receive guidance on how to get what they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a pretty crappy school. She needs to toughed up or learn to fight back.

It’s actually sad because it’s one of the top pyramids. Most of these kids are from pretty rich families. They all have the latest of everything. I assume the parents are well educated in this area. I honestly don’t know why some kids are so mean.

You think money makes people nice?

Did you not go to middle school in the US?

What I meant is that families with more than adequate resources and highly educated parents, theoretically, the kids have more chances to receive guidance on appropriate behaviors. Obviously, the observations made from our school say it’s not true. And it surprises me and makes me wonder why.

Some of it is bad parenting. The kids hear swear words constantly at home and bring the bad language to school to use, even if their parents wouldn’t condone that language in public. Parents are spending less time going to church and kids lack a moral fiber to treat others as they would want to be treated. They don’t learn the Golden Rule. They lash out at others and push their way around. There are few consequences for poor behavior and they see their parents and others act entitled all the time, so they repeat these behaviors. Society as a whole has dwindled down to a ‘Me, Myself, and I focus’ with little care of their fellow peer. Use this opportunity to talk to your DD because she will face similar situations through life. Explain how you handle these pushy people that you might encounter at the grocery store, parking lot, job, etc. Explain that she needs a trusted adult for backup at school. She can use the teacher but then she has a counselor and AP, too. If she fails to utilize the teacher in the moment, then she needs to write an email later. She can email the counselor, too. This is MS. The kids are mean and immature. It will be like this for awhile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a pretty crappy school. She needs to toughed up or learn to fight back.

It’s actually sad because it’s one of the top pyramids. Most of these kids are from pretty rich families. They all have the latest of everything. I assume the parents are well educated in this area. I honestly don’t know why some kids are so mean.

You think money makes people nice?

Did you not go to middle school in the US?

What I meant is that families with more than adequate resources and highly educated parents, theoretically, the kids have more chances to receive guidance on appropriate behaviors. Obviously, the observations made from our school say it’s not true. And it surprises me and makes me wonder why.

Some of it is bad parenting. The kids hear swear words constantly at home and bring the bad language to school to use, even if their parents wouldn’t condone that language in public. Parents are spending less time going to church and kids lack a moral fiber to treat others as they would want to be treated. They don’t learn the Golden Rule. They lash out at others and push their way around. There are few consequences for poor behavior and they see their parents and others act entitled all the time, so they repeat these behaviors. Society as a whole has dwindled down to a ‘Me, Myself, and I focus’ with little care of their fellow peer. Use this opportunity to talk to your DD because she will face similar situations through life. Explain how you handle these pushy people that you might encounter at the grocery store, parking lot, job, etc. Explain that she needs a trusted adult for backup at school. She can use the teacher but then she has a counselor and AP, too. If she fails to utilize the teacher in the moment, then she needs to write an email later. She can email the counselor, too. This is MS. The kids are mean and immature. It will be like this for awhile.

Listen, I went to church for most of my life, but stopped going when covid hit when my kids were in MS. They don't behave like this girl. We, including my atheist spouse, have taught them to treat others the way you want to be treated.

And btw, I have seen some very mean girl behavior in church youth groups. I was a recipient of such behavior from those girls. I have seen mean girl behavior from girls in my DC's ES/MS whom I know go to church with their families.

Going to church doesn't mean the kid is well behaved. You are super naive.

[Anonymous]

I do think your DD needs to toughen up a bit when people yell at her. That happens all throughout life. It's an unfortunate life lesson that kids experience starting in MS, which is when the curse words ratchet up.

As for the seat assignment, as PPs stated, your DD should explain the situation to the teacher. It doesn't sound like she is tough enough to fight back, or just stand there waiting for the girl to move.

I went to a rough MS/HS, and I had to learn to stand my ground. I am also very petite, always have been. So, I had to really toughen up. IMO, it's helped me navigate some rough patches in my life.

[Anonymous]

This guy helped me when my kid was going through this. I was able to role play with my kid and DD was prepared and knew what to say next time it happened.

https://youtu.be/7oKjW1OIjuw?si=RqBs7L3cD8Qg6yON