16yo staying by themselves for a few days

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was the biggest goody two shoes on the planet and when my parents left me alone for a long weekend, the first thing I did was sneak out and spend the weekend with my boyfriend.

Absolutely not. I don’t care how responsible your kid is. They’re still a kid.

I was a goody two shoes also and when left alone I just took longer showers than normal and danced around the living room with music blasting (my family's version of blasting - you couldn't hear it from outside the house). Maybe I skipped vegetables a couple of nights. Some goody two shoes really ARE good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm going on a 4-day work trip in two weeks and I'm a single parent. My kid recently got their license and is pretty responsible- do you think it's fine if they stay by themselves while I'm away? This would be the first time they are alone for more than one night, but they are totally fine with it. I'm a little nervous, but they can drive and I don't have to worry about them trashing the house or anything. What do you think?

No, because, SM. All it takes is one "friend" to announce "no adults at 123 Street, party tonight," and your house is done for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course. I have left my 16 year old boy on his own for several weekends and for 4 or 5 days at a time. He is very responsible and there have been no issues. 16 is pretty much an adult. You can get married at that age! I would not join in the general infantilizing of young people that this board engages in.

Most teens are very sociable, sexually actively, driven by hormones, and fall under peer pressure. Unless… unless… your child is that weird awkward child. 🤔

Do you actually have any teens or do you just watch Riverdale?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Newsflash - teens have sex and will whether you are in the house or not.

Newsflash…dozens of teens won’t show up to an impromptu party with beer and trash your home when you are in the house….

[Anonymous]

I trust my 16 yo completely. My only concerns would be fire, burglary, etc. I might do it for a single night but 4 days seems like a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Newsflash - teens have sex and will whether you are in the house or not.

Newsflash…dozens of teens won’t show up to an impromptu party with beer and trash your home when you are in the house….

Newsflash not all kids will do this. Some kids don’t want to party at their house.

We have 3 kids and have left all at home for at least a night. Yes, they DP had friends over but it did not turn into a raging party ever.

Sorry your kids have awful friends.

[Anonymous]

Why do posters on DCUM say “sorry that…” for things they are definitely not sorry about and are just being witchy about?

[Anonymous]

I'd be fine with it for one kid but not the other. Totally depends so I'd trust your gut.

My more anxious kid, who I wouldn't leave "for a few days," was ok being alone overnight at 16 when we moved the older kid to college. She knew if she got uncomfortable she could always go stay with her BFF (lives a few blocks away) or get help from her parents.

[Anonymous]

The biggest issues are:
-inviting other teens over
-alcohol
-sex

If you do leave them, I’d alert neighbors that you will be gone. Tell your teen you’ve told the neighbors to keep an eye on who is coming and going. Have explicit rules about who can be with your teen in your house etc. You’ll still have to trust your kid to make the right choices, but it’s good to have discussed what’s supposed to happen.

I think I’d ask one of your teens friends if they can stay at their house for a at least 2 of the nights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going on a 4-day work trip in two weeks and I'm a single parent. My kid recently got their license and is pretty responsible- do you think it's fine if they stay by themselves while I'm away? This would be the first time they are alone for more than one night, but they are totally fine with it. I'm a little nervous, but they can drive and I don't have to worry about them trashing the house or anything. What do you think?

No, because, SM. All it takes is one "friend" to announce "no adults at 123 Street, party tonight," and your house is done for.

This would never happen where we live, among my DS friends and acquaintances. He is not interested in partying and drinking, would not want it and he would call the cops. The number of kids who are into partying and drinking where we live is a small minority. His friends are mostly from his sport and they just don’t do those things.

Where do you people live that this would happen?
I suspect it’s actually the wealthy areas… makes me glad we missed the boat on buying in those areas.

If I was gone, yes, my son would have his GF over. But she would not spend the night or lie to her parents. Whatever they would do, they are already doing anyway.

[Anonymous]

But kids go off to college at 17? What difference does one year make?

[Anonymous]

We did it several times for my oldest who is a goody two shoes who hates parties at anyone’s house. I wouldn’t do it with her brother who I guess has only one good shoe.
I think it really depends on the kid. We also have great neighbors that keep an eye on the house and she would feel comfortable going to if there was any issue since she knows them well.
I’m surprised so many people are concerned about parties given that most people have ring cameras now.
One thing to think about is what happens if she breaks a bone or gets a UTI or strep. Will anyone treat her? I did get an urgent care to successfully treat my teen (when I was not away just at work in DC) for a potential broken bone just by emailing in permission. You might want to give a note or something to a neighbor in case there is an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will and did. When my kid was 16 we left her at our second home (at the beach) for 3-4 days at a time on a regular basis. She was working a summer job and would bike to work. That was 2 years ago and guess what? She survived. She's become a super capable, independent kid who is headed to a top 20 college in the fall.

Yes, I did this at 16 at our beach house. I am 47 and lived to tell.

[Anonymous]

I worry that the name for parents who leave 16 year olds for days is Grandparents…about 9 months later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going on a 4-day work trip in two weeks and I'm a single parent. My kid recently got their license and is pretty responsible- do you think it's fine if they stay by themselves while I'm away? This would be the first time they are alone for more than one night, but they are totally fine with it. I'm a little nervous, but they can drive and I don't have to worry about them trashing the house or anything. What do you think?

No, because, SM. All it takes is one "friend" to announce "no adults at 123 Street, party tonight," and your house is done for.

This would never happen where we live, among my DS friends and acquaintances. He is not interested in partying and drinking, would not want it and he would call the cops. The number of kids who are into partying and drinking where we live is a small minority. His friends are mostly from his sport and they just don’t do those things.

Where do you people live that this would happen?
I suspect it’s actually the wealthy areas… makes me glad we missed the boat on buying in those areas.

If I was gone, yes, my son would have his GF over. But she would not spend the night or lie to her parents. Whatever they would do, they are already doing anyway.

You are living in LA LA Land. All teens lie (part of being a teen), all keep secrets from parents, and it doesn't matter that YOUR kid wouldn't do this. The word will get out on SM and there will be a party at your house, it doesn't matter that your kid didn't start it, ask for it, or even want it