Level 1 ASD and Kinder

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does he end up hurt or nearly hurt if you don’t intervene? Do you mean that other kids are hurting him because he is bothering them as he isnt reading social cues?

In a book or movie, he can correctly identify emotions but in real life that all goes out the window. He’s a sweet kid and loves to hug his peers. Most kids tolerate one or two hugs, but after a while especially if it’s hot outside they’re just done. DS can’t seem to read their annoyance and he’s been shoved, kicked, punched, etc. We read him stories about body boundaries, we model respectful behavior (not hugging or touching him without permission), and he’s in ABA too. I’m hoping the new ADHD meds will help him slow down and listen. I’m glad this hasn’t happened at school yet, but I’m scared it will lead to misunderstandings at his new school if it does. They might think he’s the one starting fights. Maybe in a way he is because the other kids deserve their space, but I just wish I could get through to him.

Honestly this sounds like a lot for a mainstream private to handle. I’m not sure why you wouldn’t opt for public with an IEP or the SN private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Thanks for all the thoughtful responses. I’m not sure if masking is the correct term, but he does a great job of regulating at school but the moment he’s picked up it’s like he flips a switch. He’s so irritable after school so we keep a low-demand environment. I’m nervous as the school day lengthens and the expectations increase, that the irritability and meltdowns will spill over at school. I’m not sure if I’m overreacting, but if this were to happen at an NT school I don’t think they would be keen to work with us. Or if we started medications I’m not sure we could speak openly with them to find the best fit for symptom control throughout the day.

I know you know your kid and I’m sure you have good reasons for your concerns, but, as you say, maybe you are slightly overly concerned?

The behaviors you’re talking about are common among many kids, ND or not, e.g. struggling to keep hands to yourself, falling apart at the end of the school day.
Schools are accustomed to dealing with meltdowns.

I have one ASD Level 1 upper elementary boy and one NT (but maybe ADHD) lower elementary girl.

Each has had friends but also times with some social struggles. Each has so far avoided major behavioral problems at school but sometimes falls apart on us at home. But I think almost all of us could say the same, right?

It’s awful to worry about your kid’s struggles, but it sounds like your kid’s might not be too atypical and it could be worth it to try a more conventional environment.

Maybe maybe not. The “hugging friends” is a pretty classic and disruptive ASD behavior- it’s not something NT kids do. if the NT school will admit her child after observing him and with full disclosure of the diagnosis then OP wouldn’t be wrong to send him. But it’s also not wrong for OP to pay attention to the differences she sees with her own eyes. when my DS was around the same age I had the same experience- preschool reports were fine, babysitters loved him, super bright kid. But on the playground I saw lots of cause for concern which unfortunately proved warranted.

[Anonymous]

Public with a robust IEP or SN private might be a better fit for a child with social emotional delays.
Kindergarteners won’t hesitate to tell their teachers if a classmate hugs them without their consent.
A child on the spectrum with serious social deficits like OP’s won’t thrive in mainstream private without support. I’d proceed with extreme caution if I were you,OP.
A wrong kindergarten placement could result in severe anxiety and even more disruptive behaviors.
Remember, OP that private schools can counsel out students and if that happens you will have to keep paying tuition.

[Anonymous]

Have you looked at SN schools like Maddux?
They provide good social-emotional support.

Have you thought about redshirting to give your son more time to mature socially?

Was he is private or public Pre-K?

[Anonymous]

DC might benefit from a smaller class size if at a NT school.