My ds is reconsidering due to his girlfriend

[Anonymous]

As long as he pays all difference in tuition and transportation to the school himself, sure. They will probably break up by Chrismas and it will be a life lesson.

If they are "meant to be" their relationship will survive different colleges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Following a high school boyfriend or girlfriend to college is one of the dumbest decisions that young adults consistently make. Tell him not to ruin his college experience pursuing a relationship that is statistically almost guaranteed to fail in the end. The way to have the best possible experience is to go to the school HE wants to attend, crush it during rush, pledge a top-tier house, and have so many foyine girls chasing him that by fall break he won't remember the girl's name that he was considering changing colleges for. Not to mention if he goes to the better school and plugs into the network a top-tier fraternity can provide, he'll have a hell of a lot better future, too.

Revolting.

But true…

Sadly true.

It's even more disgusting when your son, ask me how I know.
What are these girls thinking?
They are using high school standard to make life decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do not impede. Do not promote.

This, let him own the decision.

He should be well informed.

2-5% of high school relationships survive 4 years of college regardless of the distance of the relationship.
Going to the same college does little to improve your odds.
People change way too much in college. The kid you send off to college is not the same person you get back.

[Anonymous]

I went to the wrong college for me because it was closer to my boyfriend. Bad idea.

[Anonymous]

If he has better financial support or financial calculations at the state school he was going to attend, just make it easier _on him_ and tell him his family needs him to go where the money is better. He really might not want to own this choice at all, and she's probably pressuring him. Let the money make the decision so that none of you all really have to.

And being thinking adults, you can of course present the calculations in such a way that the state school he originally wanted ends up being cheaper. Gas. Time. You name it.

[Anonymous]

Oh, hell no.

OP, I went through this with my kid. They had broken up by Thanksgiving. Most high school couples do.

You are 100% entitled to state your misgivings about this plan. Then you'll have to decide how hard you want to fight about it. Will your ds like the school anyway? If they break up, will they bump into each other every day, or will it be easy to avoid each other?

I don't EVER recommend that couples go off to college together. It sucks.

[Anonymous]

Following a high school boyfriend or girlfriend to college is one of the dumbest decisions ...

And many high schoolers know this. Even when they are in love. They come to the realization -not- to follow but along the way to this decision, they entertain a lot of difference scenarios. I would not panic.

[Anonymous]

So glad my kids didn't date in HS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not impede. Do not promote.

This.

My DH and I attended different high schools but started dating as seniors. We both ended up attending our state public school. I know his parents would rather him have attended a smaller and more prestigious liberal arts school out of state. Maybe if they had voiced their objection, he would have chosen the other school. But then there would have been a high likelihood we would not have stayed together or gotten married.

I’m happy they didnt interfere with his decision. And since we did end up together, in hindsight they were smart not to dissuade him because that would have been such an awkward elephant in the room to deal with.

Your son might choose the lesser school for the “wrong reason” but he needs to determine that for himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Following a high school boyfriend or girlfriend to college is one of the dumbest decisions that young adults consistently make. Tell him not to ruin his college experience pursuing a relationship that is statistically almost guaranteed to fail in the end. The way to have the best possible experience is to go to the school HE wants to attend, crush it during rush, pledge a top-tier house, and have so many foyine girls chasing him that by fall break he won't remember the girl's name that he was considering changing colleges for. Not to mention if he goes to the better school and plugs into the network a top-tier fraternity can provide, he'll have a hell of a lot better future, too.

Revolting.

But true…

Unfortunately, I agree.

Having a serious boyfriend or girlfriend in high school is like entering the working world with huge student loan debt. most likely, both individuals will come to resent the presence of the other on the same campus because they enter college with limited and restrictive social opportunities.

[Anonymous]

Push him to propose. If he is willing to marry young then support him. If not then that may help him understand he is making a short sighted decision

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry, this was one of my fears, and why I was relieved no dating. It’s such a rough spot of not protesting too much and sending more in that direction, but also it’s our money and their brains aren’t fully developed so I feel like we have some say in this especially knowing it’s most likely not going to end well.