Where do all the shy kids go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LACs can be a difficult environment for a shy introvert. Everyone knows each others business at small schools. Like living in a fishbowl. Hell on earth.

Absolutely this ^^

Is this the case at schools like Wake with ~5k+ undergrads?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not all shy people want to be at a tiny school that's a LAC. I know a couple of shy, introverted kids who LOVED huge schools like Berkeley and Wisconsin because they could do their own thing and find their own people.

Thank you. I was a shy, introverted kid but attended a large state school because it had the major I wanted. I absolutely loved it. No, I didn’t magically become an extrovert but life was so much more interesting being surrounded by all sorts of people rather than a tiny, stifling environment full of other people just like me who need lots of alone time. I met some of my best friends there - they knew when to make sure I was included in events and when to give me space and downtime. I didn’t go Greek, and most of my friends didn’t either. We nevertheless had plenty of social opportunities.

My own introverted kids are looking at similar schools. They realize they can find their people much more easily when there are more people to be found.

Lacs are not sniffling and are diverse. Agree with everything else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LACs.

Why LACs?

SLACs are small enough that quiet introverted people aren’t drowned or left out. Less emphasis on social or Greek scene.

Harvey Mudd
Reed College
Swarthmore
Mount Holyoke
Grinnell

Large schools are awesome for shy people. No one will ask your name, no one really cares about what you’re up to.

Going to an LAC as a shy person sounds kinda frustrating tbh. You’d have to be fine with constantly being called or expected to talk in class, and you’re constantly surrounded by people you know (I loved this, but I’m an extrovert).

+1 this is why my shy kid chose a big school

[Anonymous]

My introverted DS actually wanted to go to a big school. He went to Pitt and was in the honors program which made it feel a little smaller. Loves the big sports that the school has (bball and football).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LACs.

Why LACs?

SLACs are small enough that quiet introverted people aren’t drowned or left out. Less emphasis on social or Greek scene.

Harvey Mudd
Reed College
Swarthmore
Mount Holyoke
Grinnell

My DC attends one of these and loves it. Found their people and it’s really easy to take advantage of opportunities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LACs can be a difficult environment for a shy introvert. Everyone knows each others business at small schools. Like living in a fishbowl. Hell on earth.

Absolutely this ^^

Totally agree. I was shy (and also fairly introverted, but more shy than introverted) and went to a SLAC because that was where everyone told kids like me to go. I was miserable for the reasons above. I transferred to one of the bigger Ivies sophomore year and had a wonderful experience. I loved the anonymity of big classes, and I had an easier time socially because the wider array of extracurriculars made it easier to find people I had something in common with.

Friends who loved SLACs seem to me the opposite of shy - super-social people who are open books and can strike up a conversation with anyone.

[Anonymous]

There were quiet, introverted people at HYP back in my day. There were plenty of extroverts too. Just a big mix.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not all shy people want to be at a tiny school that's a LAC. I know a couple of shy, introverted kids who LOVED huge schools like Berkeley and Wisconsin because they could do their own thing and find their own people.

I'm a shy introverted person who loved my large state school because of the anonymity and lack of one dominant social group or scene that you find at smaller schools (and many high schools).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, look for research universities with known introverted/academic cultures:

University of Chicago
Rice University
Carnegie Mellon
Rochester Institute of Technology
Case Western Reserve

These are all fantastic options, OP!

PP, how did you come across this research? Very interested in learning more about how to look for this culture. I was also under the impression that everyone at RICE is outgoing so this surprises me.

[Anonymous]

Op here- DC is both shy and introverted. Moved from public to private and enjoys the smaller school. Also enjoyed our tour of Rutgers.

He likes the ability to go out and do things, but doesn't usually take advantage of social opportunities because he is shy and needs significant time to recharge.

What is a good website to identify campus culture?

His ideal Friday night would be studying early, followed by a party, but then he would stay in his dorm until his next class on Tuesday and would grubhub all 3 days if possible in order to recharge. He'll probably ignore your texts for most of those days too.

He's not meeting up with friends for food during the day, or between classes. I imagine him doing his own thing 80% of the time.

Based on some of the comments, I'm thinking he would benefit from a bigger school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here- DC is both shy and introverted. Moved from public to private and enjoys the smaller school. Also enjoyed our tour of Rutgers.

He likes the ability to go out and do things, but doesn't usually take advantage of social opportunities because he is shy and needs significant time to recharge.

What is a good website to identify campus culture?

His ideal Friday night would be studying early, followed by a party, but then he would stay in his dorm until his next class on Tuesday and would grubhub all 3 days if possible in order to recharge. He'll probably ignore your texts for most of those days too.

He's not meeting up with friends for food during the day, or between classes. I imagine him doing his own thing 80% of the time.

Based on some of the comments, I'm thinking he would benefit from a bigger school.

Sounds like Cornell.
Kids go to the library for hours, then go out to Level B or the karaoke bar or frat parties until 2am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LACs can be a difficult environment for a shy introvert. Everyone knows each others business at small schools. Like living in a fishbowl. Hell on earth.

Agreed. I was a shy introvert at an SLAC. Terrible fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LACs.

Why LACs?

SLACs are small enough that quiet introverted people aren’t drowned or left out. Less emphasis on social or Greek scene.

Harvey Mudd
Reed College
Swarthmore
Mount Holyoke
Grinnell

As a shy person a small LAC would be my idea of hell on earth

lol , me too

[Anonymous]

I'm an introvert (although I wouldn't say that I'm shy). I loved my years at UChicago, and for the first time, I was surrounded by others like me.

[Anonymous]

William & Mary