How did you or would you deal with upkeep teens pregnancy news ?

[Anonymous]

I have a DD who thought she might have been pregnant when she was 16. She shared it with me, did not want to carry to term, and I assured her I would help her and take her to Planned Parenthood.

Now it turned out that she was (thankfully) not pregnant. But I still made an appt at Planned Parenthood where she got a prescription for birth control pills.

If I were OP, I would approach DD asap and discuss. Let her know there are options, and it’s not something that can be ignored or wished away.

[Anonymous]

OP, stop waiting. Talk to your daughter. Tell her you lover her, and with no condemnation or judgment, ask her if she is pregnant. Tell her that you will support her choice and be there for her no matter what.

[Anonymous]

When I got pregnant as a teenager, I was so disappointed and ashamed, I could literally tell no one. When I called the planned parenthood, I was crying. I literally couldn't get the words out of my mouth. (I waited because I just kept *hoping* the period would come, could be the case with your daughter). I wanted to tell anyone so badly just to have a support but it was like I became paralyzed. Not to mention, now that I am aware, likely pregnancy hormones added to my sensitivity. See if you can softly, gently broach the topic. Be very compassionate and give her the opportunity to simply nod or something like that to acknowledge what's happening. Make the appt asap and let there by recovery time. Even though I had no thoughts of keeping the baby, I did feel very depressed afterwards, mostly because I was so ashamed in myself. They will give birth control when you get termination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I got pregnant as a teenager, I was so disappointed and ashamed, I could literally tell no one. When I called the planned parenthood, I was crying. I literally couldn't get the words out of my mouth. (I waited because I just kept *hoping* the period would come, could be the case with your daughter). I wanted to tell anyone so badly just to have a support but it was like I became paralyzed. Not to mention, now that I am aware, likely pregnancy hormones added to my sensitivity. See if you can softly, gently broach the topic. Be very compassionate and give her the opportunity to simply nod or something like that to acknowledge what's happening. Make the appt asap and let there by recovery time. Even though I had no thoughts of keeping the baby, I did feel very depressed afterwards, mostly because I was so ashamed in myself. They will give birth control when you get termination.

?? it's not a baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not something to wait on. Just layout whatever support and resources you’re willing to provide. If she doesn’t want what you’re offering, she can just say nothing.

+1000.

I am pro choice, but in the same way choice is practiced in Europe: no-questions asked termination prior to 15 weeks or so (sometimes 20).

If you wait beyond that because of any reason beyond health, then it’s on you. No third trimester abortion because you couldn’t make up your mind.

Stop waiting and confront her immediately. Then decide. This won’t be easy and there’s no way around that fact.

[Anonymous]

And just to add: please be sensitive to the need for support after the termination (if that happens). I mean professional mental health support. Do t just assume she’ll be 100% ok afterwards; she will definitely benefit from talking to someone

[Anonymous]

Why don’t you trust your gut and talk to her? Be direct and compassionate. Ask her what she wants to do and let her know you support her no matter what she chooses.

DD was pretty introverted in HS and rarely went out but I brought up safe sex and pregnancy early on in the teen years so she would know the door was always open if she got pregnant or a friend did. My mom was a postpartum nurse, Lamaze instructor and parent educator so there were no taboo topics in my home growing up which in turn made it easy for me when I became a parent. I don’t think of these discussions as any more difficult than talking about drugs or drinking.

Time is of the essence with pregnancy. Abortion earlier is easier. If she wants to carry it to term, then good prenatal care is vital.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And just to add: please be sensitive to the need for support after the termination (if that happens). I mean professional mental health support. Do t just assume she’ll be 100% ok afterwards; she will definitely benefit from talking to someone

100% this, ask for a referral when you are at planned parenthood (or wherever you choose to go)