How did you or would you deal with upkeep teens pregnancy news ?

[Anonymous]

Daughter told us, made an appointment at
Planned Parenthood, boyfriend went with her. She had an IUD inserted. It was all pretty quick and easy. We are atheists and she didn't have any crushing moral guilt or other regrets in the last 9 years (she was 17 at the time). I'm sure we would all prefer it never happened but we assured her it wasn't catastrophic and we made sure not to be dramatic about it. Abortion is healthcare.

She did try BC pills shortly prior to this but they caused severe nausea and vomiting which was incompatible with attending school. She got a copper IUD (but found later she could tolerate the Mirena).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know how sure you are that she's pregnant. Obviously if you are 100% sure then you might want to proceed differently than if you think it's possible not probable. However, this is one thought I had.

My Dad, who was a pretty conservative Christian man had a conversation with me every six months through my teenage years where he said to me basically

"I know you know that my hope is that you will remain a virgin until marriage. But if you decide otherwise, and I find out, while I might be disappointed I won't be angry, and it won't change how I feel about you. However, if I found out that you got pregnant, and that you didn't give me the opportunity to support you as you made your choice, and be with you and offer you help with whatever choice you made, I would be devastated. So, please know, that if you ever find yourself with an unplanned pregnancy that I am a safe person to come to and we will figure it out together, because I love you and I wouldn't want you to be alone with that."

It was a powerful message, and while I didn't ever need it it's something I remember.

I only have sons, and I say basically the same thing to them, although I tell them I hope they will stay virgins until they are high school graduates rather than married, and I tell them that I would be devastated if I learned that they got someone pregnant and didn't stand by and support that woman in whatever choice she made, and that I hope that they would give me the opportunity to help them if they are in that situation. I started saying this when my kids were like 13 and I was confident they were not at that point doing anything that would lead to an unplanned pregnancy."

If I suspected one of my sons had gotten someone pregnant, I'd probably use this moment to say the same thing. If I was relatively confident, I might add -- I am seeing these signs (e.g. a positive pregnancy test in the trash can, or the following things in your search history, or overhearing a conversation . . . ), is there anything I need to know?

Wow. Your father knew the right thing to say. That's rare.

[Anonymous]

It’s childish to wait - understandable for her, but not for you. Figure out how you are going to talk to her and do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know how sure you are that she's pregnant. Obviously if you are 100% sure then you might want to proceed differently than if you think it's possible not probable. However, this is one thought I had.

My Dad, who was a pretty conservative Christian man had a conversation with me every six months through my teenage years where he said to me basically

"I know you know that my hope is that you will remain a virgin until marriage. But if you decide otherwise, and I find out, while I might be disappointed I won't be angry, and it won't change how I feel about you. However, if I found out that you got pregnant, and that you didn't give me the opportunity to support you as you made your choice, and be with you and offer you help with whatever choice you made, I would be devastated. So, please know, that if you ever find yourself with an unplanned pregnancy that I am a safe person to come to and we will figure it out together, because I love you and I wouldn't want you to be alone with that."

It was a powerful message, and while I didn't ever need it it's something I remember.

I only have sons, and I say basically the same thing to them, although I tell them I hope they will stay virgins until they are high school graduates rather than married, and I tell them that I would be devastated if I learned that they got someone pregnant and didn't stand by and support that woman in whatever choice she made, and that I hope that they would give me the opportunity to help them if they are in that situation. I started saying this when my kids were like 13 and I was confident they were not at that point doing anything that would lead to an unplanned pregnancy."

If I suspected one of my sons had gotten someone pregnant, I'd probably use this moment to say the same thing. If I was relatively confident, I might add -- I am seeing these signs (e.g. a positive pregnancy test in the trash can, or the following things in your search history, or overhearing a conversation . . . ), is there anything I need to know?

Wow. Your father knew the right thing to say. That's rare.

+1 what an amazing dad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here
1. Upkeep was a typo, not even sure how it got there
2. I am dds mom
3. I am 1000 percent sure she will want to abort
4. I just want to do the right thing and not say or do the wrong things so looking for someone who went through this to guide me

If she was 1000 percent going to choose that she would have done so already

That's not true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not something to wait on. Just layout whatever support and resources you’re willing to provide. If she doesn’t want what you’re offering, she can just say nothing.

Don’t wait. This conversation should occur this weekend and if you need to approach her, then do it. Waiting will not make this easier.

[Anonymous]

My best friend in high school got pregnant while in a very abusive relationship.

Her mom noticed the weight gain and asked if she was pregnant. My friend broke down in tears crying. She figured she was but was paralyzed with fear and didn’t know what to do. Hadn’t taken a pregnancy test.

I was her best friend and she didn’t tell me until her mom asked.

Her mom drove her to another state. I never asked why. I assume now that state had fewer restrictions — perhaps no waiting period etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not something to wait on. Just layout whatever support and resources you’re willing to provide. If she doesn’t want what you’re offering, she can just say nothing.

Don’t wait. This conversation should occur this weekend and if you need to approach her, then do it. Waiting will not make this easier.

I’m the poster whose friend got pregnant in high school. Do not wait. You don’t say why you suspect but if it is based on appearance, that can be very deceiving. She may not be or she may be further along than you suspect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know how sure you are that she's pregnant. Obviously if you are 100% sure then you might want to proceed differently than if you think it's possible not probable. However, this is one thought I had.

My Dad, who was a pretty conservative Christian man had a conversation with me every six months through my teenage years where he said to me basically

"I know you know that my hope is that you will remain a virgin until marriage. But if you decide otherwise, and I find out, while I might be disappointed I won't be angry, and it won't change how I feel about you. However, if I found out that you got pregnant, and that you didn't give me the opportunity to support you as you made your choice, and be with you and offer you help with whatever choice you made, I would be devastated. So, please know, that if you ever find yourself with an unplanned pregnancy that I am a safe person to come to and we will figure it out together, because I love you and I wouldn't want you to be alone with that."

It was a powerful message, and while I didn't ever need it it's something I remember.

I only have sons, and I say basically the same thing to them, although I tell them I hope they will stay virgins until they are high school graduates rather than married, and I tell them that I would be devastated if I learned that they got someone pregnant and didn't stand by and support that woman in whatever choice she made, and that I hope that they would give me the opportunity to help them if they are in that situation. I started saying this when my kids were like 13 and I was confident they were not at that point doing anything that would lead to an unplanned pregnancy."

If I suspected one of my sons had gotten someone pregnant, I'd probably use this moment to say the same thing. If I was relatively confident, I might add -- I am seeing these signs (e.g. a positive pregnancy test in the trash can, or the following things in your search history, or overhearing a conversation . . . ), is there anything I need to know?

Wow. Your father knew the right thing to say. That's rare.

What an amazing dad. I would tell my daughter something similar op like a hypothetical convo.

[Anonymous]

You need to tell her. She is probably in denial or hoping some over the counter pill will work. You need to handhold her through it. Make her an appointment at planned parenthood, etc, hold her hand.

[Anonymous]

I’ve not been in your situation OP but I think you need to bring it up quickly. If you are certain she is pregnant you know that time is a big factor in what options she has available.
Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Don't wait. Talk to her ASAP.

Be supportive. She doesn't need to hear how disappointed you are. Help her with options.

[Anonymous]

Be supportive and direct, with no judgment involved. If she is pregnant, she may be going through a myriad of emotions -- fear, guilt, anger, shock etc. Be the steady, solid adult who asks the question and then offers support and options. Validate however she is feeling and schedule a doctor's appointment. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

This is something you are going to want to talk to her about - tomorrow. You just do it. She is probably scared to do it. “I have to ask - is there a chance you are pregnant? If so please just tell me, I’m not mad, let’s figure this out bc if you are - there are some options only available very early”

Which is true - pill abortions (which I had) are best done early.

[Anonymous]

I think you should remember to show her support and do research to get the best resources