Husband doesn’t buy me any presents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: FWIW Your husband doesn't buy me any presents either.

Hope this helps !

He bought me a heart-shaped ruby pendant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm trying to do my part by raising a son that understands gift giving etiquette.

NP but thank you for this perspective! I’m going to start asking for things for special occasion days instead of the constant slow drip of small cheap crap I buy for myself year-round

[Anonymous]

its the other way here. i barely get my husband anything for christmas. he doesnt need anything. he doesn't want anything, and i don't like to spend money on useless crap.

i do try to think of things for him, but there isn't much.

[Anonymous]

My husband also hasn’t gotten me a Christmas present for as along as I can remember. I also don’t get him anything anymore.

DH doesn’t come from a very wealthy family so gift giving is generally not something they do and in fact, our kids didn’t even get gifts this year. I really have to make an effort to show our kids when it’s appropriate to give a gift. I certainly don’t want them to be spoiled but it would be nice it someone (not me) did something for them, or got them something special that they knew they’d love.

Sorry OP but I understand the feeling.

[Anonymous]

I agree with all the PPs who suggest being specific about any Christmas wishes, including links. I don't ask for something every year, but when I want a higher end item that I am not going to buy randomly for myself, I let DH know in November. And I remind him to shop the Black Friday sale if I know the merchant participates in Black Friday. Then I get to open what I really want, and he feels good about getting it for me. We all win!

On other years, he gets me cute little thoughtful things like cozy socks, fancy toiletries, etc. Not every year involves expensive presents.

[Anonymous]

If you get him thoughtful gifts and he gets you a makeup bag, then it's a problem. If you got him something small as well, then no. It's all about reciprocity.

That being said, I'm sad to read that so many women put so much time and effort into gift-giving and creating holiday memories and get nothing in return. Who are these husbands who don't get anything for their wives and fill her stockings? Unthinkable.

[Anonymous]

My husband doesn’t get me gifts. I did get one for him. He’s the primary earner so I don’t take it personally.

[Anonymous]

In my house it's normal. His gifts were so bad that after a while I just requested he get me nothing. Instead, I buy myself things I want and wrap them up for myself. This year, he did the same. We were both quite happy with our gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is normal in my house (though not the wrapping what I already part). DH and I just dont give one another gifts. Its too stressful at Christmas to add one more person to the list and both of us have birthdays around the holidays so we don't need anything else. This year, DH and I went shopping the day before my birthday and I bought a new coat and new shoes and that was good for me. I would rather pick things out myself so I can get what I want. We share finances anyway.

But this is the expectation that we have set. If that is not what you and your DH have agreed upon, you have a right to be upset.

This is DH and me. We are not really stuff people. There is not much we want that we do not have. If I see something think he would like I might buy him a gift on a random year. Some years one of us will buy something a bit splurgy and just say...this is my bday present! It works for us.

[Anonymous]

I send DH specific brands to buy something. Like— buy a sweater from J Crew in size medium. Then he and kids pick the color. Or buy earrings from this website and they choose which ones. So there’s an element of surprise but it’s not starting from scratch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My feelings are hurt but he only got me a small makeup bag for Xmas. He also wrapped something I owned already.

Is this normal?

This part is not normal

[Anonymous]

I was always buying the presents for everyone (other adults) in the family like a lot of women do. Once kids were born I said no more. Well, guess what, nobody else wanted to be in charge of buying presents for other adults, so there are none. I now only buy presents for kids. I buy myself whatever I come across and like while buying presents for kids. Husband is now sometimes buying presents for kids as well since kids have figured out that otherwise mom gets them everything (they're old enough) and he feels like a Scrooge.

[Anonymous]

Divorce!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would freak out. We don't do presents for grownup. Normal for you is different.
I usually got silent treatment when he couldn't figure out his feelings. Heck with the presents.

We give consumable gifts to each other that we want and will use (fancy food for husband, lotion, etc. for me). I never wanted Christmas presents to revolve around our only child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My feelings are hurt but he only got me a small makeup bag for Xmas. He also wrapped something I owned already.

Is this normal?

How did he respond to the Xmas gifts you gave him?