Disliking food at gatherings

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's what I do ...

Eat before you attend
Simply say no thank you
Don't eat anything
Bring something you prepared or purchased that you like

This is weird. Don't do this.

I don't think ..
What is weird ?? Feeling pressured to eat foods you don't like want or need.

I think PP is referring to the last line. Bringing something for yourself to eat is more noticeable than simply saying no thank you if you can’t take a small scoop and push it around on your plate.

You don't bring a main dish or like your own take out meal. You ask the host if you can bring a salad or a side to share, or to bring dessert. Or ask if you can bring appetizers. Anything -- if you bring it, you know there will be at least one thing there you can eat, so you can fill up on that whatever it is.

And then you take small servings of what they offer, and take a few small bites, say it's great, and then don't have any more. Even with the most unappetizing food, there is usually at least part of it you can easily eat at least a few bites of.

If there is something you cannot bring yourself to eat even a bit of, you cut it up and move it around your plate, eat a bit of the other items, make conversation and hope no one notices you never technically put whatever it was in your mouth.

Gracious hosts will never say a word about this, even if they notice. Rude, controlling people will watch you like a hawk and interrogate you. For the latter, you just say "oh it's delicious, I just don't have an appetite today." Repeat until they leave you alone (and leave if they don't leave you alone). It's not your fault they are so rude.

[Anonymous]

I always eat before I go

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate that people are saying to put food on your plate and push it around. Stop wasting food! As a host, it burns inside when I am scraping plates filled with food. Why did you take it if you weren't going to eat it? Stop wasting money and food!

It's when people are pushing food on you. In OP's case, she's talking about hosts who insist on serving you food and ask you questions if you decline it. They are leaving you no other choice. You take a small serving, eat what you can (if you can) and cut up the rest or push it around so it doesn't look untouched on your plate.

I have been served food at people's houses that was inedible or close to it. Food that was burned, undercooked, totally unseasoned, etc. The people serving it either don't know or are so lacking in social graces that they think it's okay to serve food like that. The food is wasted no matter what. It's okay to sacrifice some of it to save a little face and get through the meal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's one meal. People act like not eating at one meal is the end of the world. Or not eating exactly what they want. Consider it a fast and offer up to Buddha, Jessus, sky spirit, whatever.

For the people going for a week-- it's a great chance to take your hosts out as a treat.

I’m fine not eating the meal or taking just a couple bites. But it’s the rude comments…

Yeah, I know. And it's a good reminder on here even to the most well-meaning not to "push" food or drink.

If you have food issues, stop eating with people. Do other things together that don't involve food.

I agree it is really annoying. Or people with big restrictions who don't say so beforehand. I hate it because it means I go through a lot of effort cooking and then people don't eat. OP should actually say she's raw vegan or whatever suits her best. It's helpful for me as a hostess to know what people like, way better than seeing someone not eat and feeling like I tried to please and it wasn't even worth it.

[Anonymous]

The way that I was raised?

You eat it. And smile. And thank them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You pretend to like it and push the food around the plate and fill up on the things you can tolerate. Why can't you pretend to like it?

This. I eat well before going and then do this.

[Anonymous]

I think you eat some raw vegetables before going to balance out the fat, then eat a small portion. It sounds like you are arriving full, when a heavy meal would always be unappetizing.

[Anonymous]

If you're my friend and it's a big party, just eat beforehand and I won't notice it care. If it's an invitation to a small dinner party around the table with just your family and mine, feel free to tell me, "hey I've been sensitive to a bunch of different foods lately. do you mind if we just meet to hang out after dinner time?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The way that I was raised?

You eat it. And smile. And thank them.

100% percent this.

Good to see that at least one person on this thread was raised right.

It’s called being gracious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate that people are saying to put food on your plate and push it around. Stop wasting food! As a host, it burns inside when I am scraping plates filled with food. Why did you take it if you weren't going to eat it? Stop wasting money and food!

It's when people are pushing food on you. In OP's case, she's talking about hosts who insist on serving you food and ask you questions if you decline it. They are leaving you no other choice. You take a small serving, eat what you can (if you can) and cut up the rest or push it around so it doesn't look untouched on your plate.

I have been served food at people's houses that was inedible or close to it. Food that was burned, undercooked, totally unseasoned, etc. The people serving it either don't know or are so lacking in social graces that they think it's okay to serve food like that. The food is wasted no matter what. It's okay to sacrifice some of it to save a little face and get through the meal.

Nah. Most of the time, we aren’t talking about food that is “inedible or close to it.” We’re talking about adults who think it’s cute to be “picky eaters” like a 5-year-old or to self-pathologist not prefering certain foods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way that I was raised?

You eat it. And smile. And thank them.

100% percent this.

Good to see that at least one person on this thread was raised right.

It’s called being gracious.

Take small portions, eat it and say thanks.

Now though I just tell them I can't eat it. Between a hiatal hernia, GERD and IBS there is a lot that falls under that category.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate that people are saying to put food on your plate and push it around. Stop wasting food! As a host, it burns inside when I am scraping plates filled with food. Why did you take it if you weren't going to eat it? Stop wasting money and food!

It's when people are pushing food on you. In OP's case, she's talking about hosts who insist on serving you food and ask you questions if you decline it. They are leaving you no other choice. You take a small serving, eat what you can (if you can) and cut up the rest or push it around so it doesn't look untouched on your plate.

I have been served food at people's houses that was inedible or close to it. Food that was burned, undercooked, totally unseasoned, etc. The people serving it either don't know or are so lacking in social graces that they think it's okay to serve food like that. The food is wasted no matter what. It's okay to sacrifice some of it to save a little face and get through the meal.

Nah. Most of the time, we aren’t talking about food that is “inedible or close to it.” We’re talking about adults who think it’s cute to be “picky eaters” like a 5-year-old or to self-pathologist not prefering certain foods.

I think it's actually both -- some people are picky and also done hosts serve bad food.

Ultimately my take is live and let live. If someone doesn't want to eat food I serve, that's fine. I put effort in to offer people food that tastes good to me but different people like different things. Maybe they have a sensitive stomach, a food restriction i don't know about, are truly not hungry. They might have an eating disorder. It's none of my business.

Someone else choosing not to eat doesn't actually affect me in any way. Even if they are just being super picky! They'll be hungry, but I won't, so why do I care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's what I do ...

Eat before you attend
Simply say no thank you
Don't eat anything
Bring something you prepared or purchased that you like

This is weird. Don't do this.

I don't think ..
What is weird ?? Feeling pressured to eat foods you don't like want or need.

I think PP is referring to the last line. Bringing something for yourself to eat is more noticeable than simply saying no thank you if you can’t take a small scoop and push it around on your plate.

This. Do NOT bring food that was not asked for by the host. It’s incredibly rude. If you feel strongly and know you have dietary restrictions, ask the host when you’re invited if you can bring a vegan dish, a gluten-free dish, etc. so as not to create any extra work for the host preparing some thing for a diet they aren’t used to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's what I do ...

Eat before you attend
Simply say no thank you
Don't eat anything
Bring something you prepared or purchased that you like

This is weird. Don't do this.

DP. I agree, other than the no thank you, put a little on your plate and try to eat that. Definitely bring food that you made, I don't see why anyone would dislike that?

[Anonymous]

You take a few bites and get over yourself. You don’t have to shovel it in and go on and on about how you love it, but you take a few bites. And did I mention, get over yourself.