Are you more or less attractive in your head than in real life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel way way better about myself than how I actually look. It’s a blessing and a curse.

Same but I don't see the curse part! I'm just glad to feel good. Confidence counts for a lot, right?

Am 51 FWIW.

[Anonymous]

I think I’m way more attractive than I actually am. I think I’ve always been that way.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been homely since I was 12 or so, and was just plain before that. My family was always complimenting siblings and cousins and would get to me and say something about how hard I worked. From a young age I was pretty aware of getting a weird remix of my family’s genes that don’t quite work.

I put a lot of work into looking tidy and pulled together, so it’s always startling that the effort doesn’t result in me looking any better than when I started, and sometimes it looks worse because it gives the tragic air of having tried but not succeeded. So even if I’m wearing nice ironed clothes and great, classic jewelry and have my hair just right, it looks like my face and body have been swapped into the wrong paper doll’s accessories.

I guess it takes a lot to overcome homely.

I look my best in an outdoorsy setting where everyone is layered and sort of squinty and windblown.

[Anonymous]

The me in my head and in the mirror at my house (with good lighting) are the best versions of me. The me in photos is one step down, more often than not I think I look pretty good in them. Next, the me that I see in a mirror in a public place (usually bad lighting) is pretty bad. Finally, the me in the front facing camera on my phone is pretty consistently hideous. I choose to believe that the uglier versions of me are just a lie.

[Anonymous]

I think I am just average. I try to dress up and be presentable with my hair a little makeup and some jewelry. I clean up okay

[Anonymous]

Once I got rid of the mirror that said I was the fairest of them all, I was able to objectively assess my appearance.

[Anonymous]

I look cute for a pregnant woman.

Too bad I’m not pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such an interesting question to me because it has totally varied for me by age. When I was in my 20s whenever I looked in a mirror I would be shocked by how much worse I looked than what was expecting. In my 30s and 40s it was the opposite. I’d come home from an event and wonder if people had been kind of staring at me because there was something wrong and be surprised by how great my skin and hair looked. Now in my 50s—well, I don’t even want to talk about it honestly. I actually didn’t recognize myself in pictures from this Thanksgiving. It’s a surreal feeling.

Thats a shame

I look much better now at age 55. I get tons of attention from men, im very fit and pretty.

I had let weight creep on in the past. I have my face 'back' now and my body is slim and toned. Im also busty.

Im just going to enjoy it while it lasts. Kind of annoyed with myself that i let myself go in my 40s.

You are fooling yourself. No man is out there chasing women eligible for AARP.

Before you clap back with but, but, but.... Klum, Anniston, Roberts.. consider two things. 1-They don't look as good as the media wants you to think and most importantly, 2-you weren't even nearly as stunning as they were when young.

[Anonymous]

I thought I was pretty normal looking -- attractive enough but not gorgeous. My Facebook page has a picture that was taken at an outdoor wedding, and I used it because it looked very casual and not posed. My friend's other recently died, and a message about her death appeared on my Facebook page. I talked to her soon afterward and followed up with a note a few weeks after the funeral. I made a comment on my friend's page along the lines: I am sorry about your mother's death, she was a lovely woman.

People I didn't know started to attack me for talking about the appearance of dead woman. I received a number of comments about how my picture showed I was ugly on the outside and the inside. I knew none of these people, so I wasn't sure how to assess their comments. I was just surprised that so many people said I was ugly based on a picture that I thought was attractive enough.

[Anonymous]

The posts on appearance on DCUM are so interesting to me because most of my life, the women around were very concerned and insecure about their looks. But here, I read post after post from women who say they were/are attractive. Perhaps this is a self-selecting issue on both sides (my real life and DCUM?).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought I was pretty normal looking -- attractive enough but not gorgeous. My Facebook page has a picture that was taken at an outdoor wedding, and I used it because it looked very casual and not posed. My friend's other recently died, and a message about her death appeared on my Facebook page. I talked to her soon afterward and followed up with a note a few weeks after the funeral. I made a comment on my friend's page along the lines: I am sorry about your mother's death, she was a lovely woman.

People I didn't know started to attack me for talking about the appearance of dead woman. I received a number of comments about how my picture showed I was ugly on the outside and the inside. I knew none of these people, so I wasn't sure how to assess their comments. I was just surprised that so many people said I was ugly based on a picture that I thought was attractive enough.

I'm not sure I am following. People thought when you said "lovely" that you meant your friend's mom was pretty or something, rather than kind/gracious/positive personality trait?

[Anonymous]

Yes I joke that I'm still a hot girl on the inside. I used to be pretty attractive. Definitely not anymore but I still have a bit of that confidence. Then sometimes I remember or look in the mirror and feel a bit sheepish or sad.

[Anonymous]

When I was younger, I didn't realize how great I looked. So I was less attractive in my head. Now, I think I am more attractive in my head (mid 40s). I am slowly realizing that I am less attractive now than I was at, say, 32.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I have a little bit of denial about my level of attractiveness in reality. It's weird bc I don't 'cognitively' assume I look great, I think I just have some residual leftover sense of looking good from when I was younger (am mid 40s). So I get dressed and have this idea in mind of how it's coming together. And then when I look at photos I'm like - who is that wizened rectangular witch looking person in an ill fitting sweater who thinks she's pulling it off?
Anyone else have a skewed sense of their own appearance? Is this normal?

This is exactly me. lol I still think I'm like in my 20's and 120 pounds, I got dressed for the holidays and wondered who that middle aged, mean looking, frumpy women was looking back at me. I also thought I would try to pull off a dark red lip but now it almost ages you instead of looking fashionable, like a witch. lol I'm 44.

[Anonymous]

I look so much older than I think I look. I'm 63. I have an image in my head of how I look and it's not what I look like! I think I look decent for a person my age but I'm definitely not as attractive as I once was.