Are you more or less attractive in your head than in real life?

[Anonymous]

I think I have a little bit of denial about my level of attractiveness in reality. It's weird bc I don't 'cognitively' assume I look great, I think I just have some residual leftover sense of looking good from when I was younger (am mid 40s). So I get dressed and have this idea in mind of how it's coming together. And then when I look at photos I'm like - who is that wizened rectangular witch looking person in an ill fitting sweater who thinks she's pulling it off?
Anyone else have a skewed sense of their own appearance? Is this normal?

[Anonymous]

At 46 I usually look much better in photos than I feel about myself. I am thin with a round face which helps. I grew up ugly so still see myself that way.

[Anonymous]

Much more attractive in my head compared to photos. However when I see myself in videos I look really different than I imagine but not in a bad way.

[Anonymous]

I feel way way better about myself than how I actually look. It’s a blessing and a curse.

[Anonymous]

I think I look like I did when I was 65 or so.
Now so much lip pruniness, saggy chin. The feral gray hair doesn't help.

[Anonymous]

This is such an interesting question to me because it has totally varied for me by age. When I was in my 20s whenever I looked in a mirror I would be shocked by how much worse I looked than what was expecting. In my 30s and 40s it was the opposite. I’d come home from an event and wonder if people had been kind of staring at me because there was something wrong and be surprised by how great my skin and hair looked. Now in my 50s—well, I don’t even want to talk about it honestly. I actually didn’t recognize myself in pictures from this Thanksgiving. It’s a surreal feeling.

[Anonymous]

I forget I don’t look how I did in my 30’s (thin and naturally pretty). Then see pics. I try to not be in them.

[Anonymous]

Most of us are hard on ourselves. Apparently more people find I'm more attractive than I find myself lol.

[Anonymous]

In survey after survey, a majority of people believe they are above average.

[Anonymous]

I am self-conscious. I am a rare feature person in a sea of people who have similar skin tone and dark eyes. Think Aishwarya Rai. I get complements on my eye color daily but I never wanted my friends or family to feel like I stood out in some way so I always think of myself as less attractive but other people seem to find my features make me more attractive.

[Anonymous]

It’s quite the opposite for me. My mom still tells me that I don’t know or appreciate my beauty. Friends tell me I’m a beautiful woman. I don’t dislike myself but the reality is that I’m invisible to men.

[Anonymous]

I think I probably look better in person, than in photos, and how I think I look.

That's mostly due to having been overweight/obese most of my life. Now I have some dysmorphia, despite maintaining for a decade. I think in person, my fitness is more apparent. I think part is also personality. I'm funny, easy going, not remotely stuck up, and my general demeanor makes me more attractive to others.

[Anonymous]

OMG yes, I think I am more attractive and thinner than I actually am. It's horrible when I see myself in pictures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am self-conscious. I am a rare feature person in a sea of people who have similar skin tone and dark eyes. Think Aishwarya Rai. I get complements on my eye color daily but I never wanted my friends or family to feel like I stood out in some way so I always think of myself as less attractive but other people seem to find my features make me more attractive.

It's not helpful when people don't know who the person you're describing yourself as is.

[Anonymous]

I look much better in videos than photos.