Two same sex siblings, 2 years apart= worst combo?

[Anonymous]

My sister and I were almost 2 years apart, but 1 year apart in school. We did not get along and mostly get along now but are not close. It was exacerbated by my mom's favoritism of my sister that she didn't (and still doesn't) hide.

We had a girl and because I wanted a second to be further apart and I was already older when I had DD, we decided to stop at one. I realllllllllly did not want 2 girls close in age together.

[Anonymous]

I find that this is true only if there are 2 girls close in age, not boys.

[Anonymous]

I have two boys a little over 3 years apart. Now 16 and 13. They have gotten along great forever - they used to share a room through the elementary school years.

[Anonymous]

You get what you get and you don’t get upset.

[Anonymous]

I have three boys. They are all very closer. The older two are two years apart. Sure they fight, but are extremely close too at 11 and 13.

[Anonymous]

I'd be curious to see this study and how rigorous it was. I feel like so much of sibling dynamics is luck due to personality. If you get lucky and the personalities click, kids can be 2,3, 4, 5 years apart and be close. If you get personalities that are oil and water it again doesn't matter how close in age they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister and I are 20 month apart and have been close since day 1. My oldest friend is one of three girls (11 months apart between the oldest two, and 18 months apart between #2 and #3) and are also super tight. It’s not all doom and gloom, and OP, you can’t change it anyway. My daughters are 17 months apart and all seems well.

My sister and are 12 months apart. We fought all the time as kids and are not particularly close...really different people. My kids (b/g) are 2 years apart and have always been close.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just read a study that said same sex siblings two years apart are the worst combination for bonding. I was shocked. What is your own experience if you have this combo?

I have 2 boys, 2 years apart 6 and 8.

Since you didn't link it, I don't believe you.

[Anonymous]

Sister and I (2 years apart) hated each other most of our lives, plus I never got my own room until she left for college. I was quiet, tidy, studious. She --well, not. We overlapped 2 years at the same college and saws each other exactly twice.

Nothing is guaranteed.

[Anonymous]

Wondering how the generalization will help here. Even if it's broadly true it isn't a rule for your particular family.

But I will say I had 3 in part because I grew up in a family of 2 (not same gender) and there were some weird parent-child dynamics that I didn't like there. 3 definitely can break some things up, but it also ups the complexity of the relationships by an order of magnitude. Instead of 1 relationship between your kids you manage 3.

[Anonymous]

I have two boys, 3 years apart, and they have never gotten along. Teens now.

[Anonymous]

As with most sibling relationships personality plays a huge component. DH and his brother are 16 months apart but complete and total opposites and always have been. They weren’t close growing up and aren’t close now. Our nephews have the same gap and have been close from the beginning and are still very close as adults.

[Anonymous]

I have a sister. We are 2 years and 2 months apart. Have always fought like cats and dogs. In our 40s, we are finally estranged and likely will continue to be forever.

But I don’t know how much the age gap had to do with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just read a study that said same sex siblings two years apart are the worst combination for bonding. I was shocked. What is your own experience if you have this combo?

I have 2 boys, 2 years apart 6 and 8.

Why would that make sense? My sister and I are 2.5 years apart and we’ve always been close.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you can predict. Some siblings get along, some don’t. Regardless of sex or spacing.