My parents are obsessed with my weight

[Anonymous]

OP, since you shared your age, I’ll share this much. I’m a little less than double your age.

Cancer rates for my generation are far higher than for my parents’ generation at my age. We know the causes are many, but obesity is a risk factor for cancer and other health problems. Young people often ignore these risks, particularly since the advent of social media fat pride posts.

I’m old enough to know what pressure to be unhealthily thin was like.

Your parents are probably concerned about your health and are being intrusive about showing their concern. Even rude. But there is some wisdom in what they are saying.

Every time I walk out of a routine doctor’s appointment, I’m handed a receipt with my next appointment and BMI on it. I’m in my early 40s. I think my doctor does this for all his patients. Even the pediatric ones.

[Anonymous]

OP, I’m at a healthy weight and every time I see my cousins, they spend 20 minutes discussing my weight in front of the whole family. They alternate between obese and overweight. Count your blessings.

[Anonymous]

Please don't listen to the people shaming you even more. Lord. It doesn't help. My parents used to do this OP. It probably is well meaning but it is NOT helpful in any shape or form. What helped me in my 20s was working with a nutritionist who was not weight focused and helped empower me to explain to my parents that their comments were not only wrong, but incredibly hurtful and shaming. I told them flat out it was not ok anymore to talk to me about my weight (increase or decrease!) no comments on my body generally. No comments about food in front of me, calling foods bad or good. I explained it in a nice way like hey, these things actually make it worse. I really need your help. To be healthy, I can't be in a shame spiral. They really did make a massive change. I had to keep providing psychoeducation but it worked. I worked with Emily Fonnesbeck and read some books on intuitive eating to be able to provide the education.

https://emilyfonnesbeck.com/

[Anonymous]

It's hard but I agree with the advice of setting a boundary:

"I know you love me and care about me but I do not want to discuss my weight. If you bring it up again, I will leave." Well, that's the easy part.

The hard part is actually leaving when they talk about it, again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's awful for the parents to do but have you thought why they're doing it?

When are you going to realize that being overweight, hopefully not obese, is not good for you? Your parents however badly they're acting want the best for you. They want you to get that job without being passed over for the thinner candidates. They want you to have your choice of significant others. They want you to be healthy and not have problems related to weight later in life.
Just like that pp said, it gets harder to lose as you get older. They don't want you to piss away your 20s when you can be traveling and seeing the world with friends.

Are you OP’s parent? What matters is what OP wants and their happiness, not what their parents want. OP has access to mirrors and the same information about health and weight loss.

[Anonymous]

So how much weight are we talking about here?

[Anonymous]

At 53, my parents still comment on my weight. I am 117 now after gastric bypass. Now I am “too thin”. They will never stop. It is out of concern, they say. They are obsessed. I just left disneyworld in tears as I am furious with them.
Do yourself a favor and set boundaries as it will never end. I wish you luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I apologize if this is the wrong place to post as I’m not a parent myself (I’m in my early 20s) but I’d really like to hear how to manage this from parents if possible.

About five years ago when I first started college, I gained a significant amount of weight. Ever since then when I visit my parents during school breaks, they always bring up how much I weigh, how big my stomach is, even taking pictures of me when I tell them not to so they can show me how much weight I’ve gained (they specifically said this was the reason). I understand the importance of losing weight and that they’re likely bringing it up because they care about me, but I feel they’re overdoing the amount they’re bringing it up. I voiced this concern to them without success.

Years of these comments led them down the rabbit hole of discovering Semaglutide, which they kept pushing me to go on, telling me how much better it’d make me look and feel. After a year of pressure, I started it a couple months back. I’ve started losing weight which they’re quite happy about, but the medication is extremely expensive ($100+ a week). While they’re currently paying for it, I don’t believe I’ll be able to sustain paying $5000+ a year once I’m a new grad on my own next fall, meaning I may end up regaining all the weight if I do end up needing to go off the mediation due to finances.

I guess my questions are:
1. How do I get my parents to stop discussing my weight, even if it’s in a positive manner with me losing on Semaglutide?
2. If I do end up not being able to afford it and regaining weight, how do I get them to accept me at a larger weight?

Any other advice related to this would also be much appreciated.

if you want to put this to bed. Tell them generally how you are addressing it and the level of involvement you feel is appropriate for them (it could be zero). I can tell you that their concern is for your well being despite it not coming out that way so try to not focus too much on that. Just give them the communication needed to get them where you want them to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, since you shared your age, I’ll share this much. I’m a little less than double your age.

Cancer rates for my generation are far higher than for my parents’ generation at my age. We know the causes are many, but obesity is a risk factor for cancer and other health problems. Young people often ignore these risks, particularly since the advent of social media fat pride posts.

I’m old enough to know what pressure to be unhealthily thin was like.

Your parents are probably concerned about your health and are being intrusive about showing their concern. Even rude. But there is some wisdom in what they are saying.

Every time I walk out of a routine doctor’s appointment, I’m handed a receipt with my next appointment and BMI on it. I’m in my early 40s. I think my doctor does this for all his patients. Even the pediatric ones.

Are you not concerned that your doctor thinks BMI is useful on an individual level?