What are your standards before letting your kid go over to another families house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To go alone: I always asked about guns. If there are guns, they need to be secure and the ammunition also needs to be secured in a separate location (within the house).

Most people will not tell you they have a gun

That's not true. Most gunners are responsible and will tell you so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To go alone: I always asked about guns. If there are guns, they need to be secure and the ammunition also needs to be secured in a separate location (within the house).

I usually go with kid for the first visit, and casually ask about guns and drug use. If I get a bad vibe I stay or make up excuse for us both to leave.

yup! Always meet the parents and you get a good idea for future visits

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Inspired by another thread.

My parents only requirement was that the family was also Christian. Growing up in the south that was 90% of families. They were delusional to think if they were church goers they were good. I ended up in some very dangerous homes (rampant sexual, physical and emotional abuse and parents with addiction issues).

My own children are still too small to go over to anyone’s house alone.

What are your requirements? Religion? Socioeconomic status? Education? Employment? Gut feeling? Good vibes?

You are sick and your parents sucked

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To go alone: I always asked about guns. If there are guns, they need to be secure and the ammunition also needs to be secured in a separate location (within the house).

Most people will not tell you they have a gun

Both Kamala Harris and Tim Walz have bragged about the guns they own.

Guess they are not good enough for whack-job PP.

Guns are fine. But they need to be safely locked up (I'm the PP)

Our neighbors hunt and have guns. Our sons played together while growing up and are great friends still (out of college for both). But I knew they had guns and were locked up (guns and ammunition both locked up in separate locations within the home). had no issues with my kids going there.
It's the unlocked guns that bother me, and yes, kids will be kids. My son knew where the guns were locked up in that house---because his friend showed him! But the kid had no clue how to get access and also no clue where the ammo was. But even a good kid (never in trouble) will be curious and 10-14 yo boys are not always known for making the best choices. So smart parents lock them up and in separate locations.

Along with education about how to use them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Inspired by another thread.

My parents only requirement was that the family was also Christian. Growing up in the south that was 90% of families. They were delusional to think if they were church goers they were good. I ended up in some very dangerous homes (rampant sexual, physical and emotional abuse and parents with addiction issues).

My own children are still too small to go over to anyone’s house alone.

What are your requirements? Religion? Socioeconomic status? Education? Employment? Gut feeling? Good vibes?

Dear God - this is DCUM. We know Christians are all bad. What a stupid thread to take a cheap shot at Christians.

It’s not a cheap shot. If someone is basing the safety of their children on someone else’s religion there is something wrong with them. That’s one of the stupidest determinations of who is safe that I ever heard.

Growing up people didn’t know each other’s religion unless they went to the same religious facility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t send my kid to a republican house.

So you talk about politics before you know the family?! Were you raised in a barn? This is very rude and also very divisive in our culture. But, hey, you do you. If your kid comes to my house (we are independents, slightly left leaning), I will ask they they refrain talking politics. Hopefully your kids learn manners through their community, because their parents aren't teaching them.

Not any more.

I don’t need to ask them about politics one can tell dummy Trumpies a mile away.

Nope no kid of mine at a mage house ever.

There is no need for my children to associate with unamerican liars stupids and idiots

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I was keeping an eye out for everything - SES, education of parents, behavior of parents, cleanliness of the house, if they have pitbulls or other aggressive dogs, gun owners, smell of weed, smokers, pets in the house, play area, what kind of hosts and guests are they etc.

Normally, when kids were little, I invited a couple children and their mothers at our house to hang out first. I would get a good sense of the family and the kids by observing them.

In my culture, we do not usually let kids go alone in someone else's home, nor do we have a culture of just one-on-one playdate. Infact, the playdates are mainly, the more the merrier.

You call a few kids and their moms over at your house. Kids play together and also have one supervised activity, eat snacks and then go home. Moms are hosted with coffee and munchies. They also keep an eye on the behavior of their child in the group. Everyone must be inclusive and nice to each other.

Way too judgmental. Your culture doesn’t mesh with American culture and I would have no interest in going to your house.

[Anonymous]

When my child was much younger and going in a lot of random play dates, I always asked about weapons. And when we hosted, I would let people know up front that we didn’t have guns and (at the time) didn’t have any prescription medications.

Then we went through all the Covid stuff (lived somewhere with really strict rules that made people crazy at either ends of the spectrum) and people proactively shared all kinds of things about who they were that took the pressure off worrying about who they secretly were. We weeded out a couple of super crazy families and it was probably good that my child didn’t get intertwined with them when she was in k and 1st.

Now my child is 9 and has a really small social circle whose parents I all know well (like have been through multiple tragedies as a community well). And she has a wider circle of sports friends, but we spend a ridiculous amount of time with those families not by choice so at least I know where they’re coming from. That group has strong, positive social norms that tend to weed out people at the extremes of personality or beliefs.

I realize that as DD transitions to middle school in a couple of years, I’ll have to have these conversations again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To go alone: I always asked about guns. If there are guns, they need to be secure and the ammunition also needs to be secured in a separate location (within the house).

I usually go with kid for the first visit, and casually ask about guns and drug use. If I get a bad vibe I stay or make up excuse for us both to leave.

I’m sure all those drug addicts are going to tell you about it. 🙄

[Anonymous]

What are your standards before letting your kid go over to another families house?

I make sure my kid is dressed, wearing shoes, and says please and thank you.

[Anonymous]

Three kids leads to quite a few kids coming over and mine going to different friends houses. I never asked any questions. No one ever asked me any questions. We never lived in an area where people hunted or typically had guns so it wasn’t something people thought of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t send my kid to a republican house.

So you talk about politics before you know the family?! Were you raised in a barn? This is very rude and also very divisive in our culture. But, hey, you do you. If your kid comes to my house (we are independents, slightly left leaning), I will ask they they refrain talking politics. Hopefully your kids learn manners through their community, because their parents aren't teaching them.

Not any more.

[/b]I don’t need to ask them about politics one can tell dummy Trumpies a mile away. [b]

Nope no kid of mine at a mage house ever.

There is no need for my children to associate with unamerican liars stupids and idiots

You think you can but you really can’t. Some of us don’t advertise our political views.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t really thought about it because it doesn’t come up much. One kid lives in our neighborhood and his parents seem normal. Another kid I have met several times. She came to his birthday party a few years ago. I need to know the parent ahead of time. My son mostly hangs out with kids in our very small townhouse community. I see the parents at the bus stop so there is a sense of who people are.

[Anonymous]

No requirements. I usually know them from school, so as long as they don't seem crazy it's fine.

[Anonymous]

Man, you are all nuts.

Be happy your kid has a friend who wants yours over to play with.

That's it. People are not after harming your kids. Not if they got their own kid, work, have a life.

I'll never get why people won't allow sleepovers. Esp if it's multiple kids and you all are from the same school or sports team or neighborhood. I mean unless your kid has suddenly decided to sleep over a strangers house, I can think of many other situations where it's rougher. It's a kid being able to hang out with their friend. I think people have way overactive imaginations.

On some level you cannot helicopter parent till 18. It's a legit prob having overprotective psycho parents.