What are your standards before letting your kid go over to another families house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Inspired by another thread.

My parents only requirement was that the family was also Christian. Growing up in the south that was 90% of families. They were delusional to think if they were church goers they were good. I ended up in some very dangerous homes (rampant sexual, physical and emotional abuse and parents with addiction issues).

My own children are still too small to go over to anyone’s house alone.

What are your requirements? Religion? Socioeconomic status? Education? Employment? Gut feeling? Good vibes?

Dear God - this is DCUM. We know Christians are all bad. What a stupid thread to take a cheap shot at Christians.

Agree.

OP is a troll who probably does not even have children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t send my kid to a republican house.

So you talk about politics before you know the family?! Were you raised in a barn? This is very rude and also very divisive in our culture. But, hey, you do you. If your kid comes to my house (we are independents, slightly left leaning), I will ask they they refrain talking politics. Hopefully your kids learn manners through their community, because their parents aren't teaching them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To go alone: I always asked about guns. If there are guns, they need to be secure and the ammunition also needs to be secured in a separate location (within the house).

Most people will not tell you they have a gun

Not true. My brother proudly tells parents he keeps his hunting rifles in a gun safe bolted to the floor of his garage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To go alone: I always asked about guns. If there are guns, they need to be secure and the ammunition also needs to be secured in a separate location (within the house).

Most people will not tell you they have a gun

My husband was LEO when my kids were young, and when making a playdate with someone new, I always led with. "I'm sure you know that we have guns in the house due to my husband's job. Let me tell you some of the precautions we take . . . " and then if the family said they were still OK with their kid coming, I asked them if they had guns and what precautions they took. I never had a family that didn't answer.

[Anonymous]

An invitation! Honestly I may be naive but all the families we meet all seem pretty great and together. Similar socioeconomic status and feel comfortable with just about everyone in kids school district and sports teams

[Anonymous]

Really curious about what you guys are guarding against. I never said no to a play date; I never felt particularly concerned about the dangers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To go alone: I always asked about guns. If there are guns, they need to be secure and the ammunition also needs to be secured in a separate location (within the house).

Most people will not tell you they have a gun

You may be unfamiliar with the meaning of the word “most.”

Not true. My brother proudly tells parents he keeps his hunting rifles in a gun safe bolted to the floor of his garage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To go alone: I always asked about guns. If there are guns, they need to be secure and the ammunition also needs to be secured in a separate location (within the house).

Most people will not tell you they have a gun

Not true. My brother proudly tells parents he keeps his hunting rifles in a gun safe bolted to the floor of his garage.

You may be unfamiliar with the meaning of the word “most.”

[Anonymous]

Gut feeling. I am fourth generation NYer - we have street smarts coming out of our ears. I am honestly surprised OP, that you would suggest that a household with people from fancy colleges would be safe, or a household where the parents are rich would be safe. People of all education and income levels abuse and neglect people.

[Anonymous]

I guess I was keeping an eye out for everything - SES, education of parents, behavior of parents, cleanliness of the house, if they have pitbulls or other aggressive dogs, gun owners, smell of weed, smokers, pets in the house, play area, what kind of hosts and guests are they etc.

Normally, when kids were little, I invited a couple children and their mothers at our house to hang out first. I would get a good sense of the family and the kids by observing them.

In my culture, we do not usually let kids go alone in someone else's home, nor do we have a culture of just one-on-one playdate. Infact, the playdates are mainly, the more the merrier.

You call a few kids and their moms over at your house. Kids play together and also have one supervised activity, eat snacks and then go home. Moms are hosted with coffee and munchies. They also keep an eye on the behavior of their child in the group. Everyone must be inclusive and nice to each other.

[Anonymous]

I had a SAH dad in the 1980s and 1990s and as a result I was almost never able to have friends over after school. It sucked. My dad was incredibly friendly and kind (and former military) and yet it was just agreed by all the other moms that I could go to their house but not vice versa.

Anyway that’s a long way of saying I’m careful about who or why I discriminate against. Often the “best” seeming families can have a predator in their midst. The better option is to focus on preparing my kids about what to do if they see a gun, or experience an adult behaving inappropriately, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really curious about what you guys are guarding against. I never said no to a play date; I never felt particularly concerned about the dangers.

I once let my 8 year old be picked up by a parent from school for a playdate, and he told me they rode 4 in the back seat of a sedan with no seatbelts, I now ask for details of if and how the family plans to transport my kid.

I once took my 4 year old to a backyard pool party and the mom told me she was so happy to see my kid could swim because it would be nice to have him over and they could play in the pool without needing an adult in the backyard. Needless to say we refused all playdates at that kid's house, and I began asking about backyard pools.

Childhood sexual abuse, when it happens outside the family, is usually someone that that the family knows, like the parent, step parent, or older sibling of a friend.

[Anonymous]

My kids have never had a found whose house I wouldn’t let them go to. Your parents sound racist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Inspired by another thread.

My parents only requirement was that the family was also Christian. Growing up in the south that was 90% of families. They were delusional to think if they were church goers they were good. I ended up in some very dangerous homes (rampant sexual, physical and emotional abuse and parents with addiction issues).

My own children are still too small to go over to anyone’s house alone.

What are your requirements? Religion? Socioeconomic status? Education? Employment? Gut feeling? Good vibes?

Dear God - this is DCUM. We know Christians are all bad. What a stupid thread to take a cheap shot at Christians.

Defensive much? I didn’t say all Christians were bad. I said my parents ignorantly thought if a family was Christian that they were “safe” which wasn’t and isn’t true.

Why are you so keen on being a victim??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids have never had a found whose house I wouldn’t let them go to. Your parents sound racist.

Are only white people Christian?