8th grade DC - What time do you take the phone / go lights out

[Anonymous]

Your 8th grader has a phone? That's the 1st mistake. 9:30-10 lights out.

[Anonymous]

We set bedtime at 11:30.

And we told them they are not supposed to be using phones after that.

[Anonymous]

9. It sits on my nightstand and these kids keep texting or whatever until all hours. A couple of times a group video call came in after like 1am. I answered and yelled at the kid.

[Anonymous]

8:00, but DC has a sport before school.

[Anonymous]

Do you want your kid to turn out like those other kids?

She can read the messages in the morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your 8th grader has a phone? That's the 1st mistake. 9:30-10 lights out.

Spoken like a true parent of a 17 year old who gets blackout drunk and has sex with a 20 year old the first time she sneaks away from mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. Who are these parents whose kids are snapping mine at 10/11pm? 🙄 (Rhetorical question …. )

As parents, we feel like we’re setting the right limits, but we also recognize that DC’s FOMO and fear of social stigma are real.

My 9th grader's phone still goes into downtime at 9. He did not have SnapChat in 8th, but he does now in 9th so maybe remind him some kids are not even allowed Snap at all in 8th. You need to be confident in your own parenting choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your 8th grader has a phone? That's the 1st mistake. 9:30-10 lights out.

And second mistake is allowing Snapchat.

[Anonymous]

10pn but no devices after dinner (although we may watch a show as a family). Kids have to be up.at 7 for school. I'd love to make is earlier, but my husband is still traumatized by is overly strict parents so we compromise

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you want your kid to turn out like those other kids?

She can read the messages in the morning.

How is that, exactly? I’m all for waiting until 8th grade at a minimum and digital guardrails as needed, but once they get to a certain age, I wouldn’t necessarily expect there’s going to be any meaningful difference in outcomes between kids who were on their phones til 10 pm and those who had to shut it down at 9.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:8th graders shouldn't have phones at all.

17 should be the minimum age to have a smart phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your 8th grader has a phone? That's the 1st mistake. 9:30-10 lights out.

Kids don’t need phones until they are about 17 years old, no need for a phone before that. 8th graders shouldn’t have phones at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. Who are these parents whose kids are snapping mine at 10/11pm? 🙄 (Rhetorical question …. )

As parents, we feel like we’re setting the right limits, but we also recognize that DC’s FOMO and fear of social stigma are real.

You are setting the right limits; this is an indicator that she associates with a cohort of kids with poor/absent/lazy parenting which means there are also issues elsewhere.

THIS. I have three daughters. The youngest is 12. And this is the lesson. I have seen it over and over and over - The kid who has TikTok at 10, who is chronically online with no supervision, the ones who have instagram at 12 and follow 4000 accounts, so many of which are inappropriate. Watch out for these kids. It might be kind of funny that they have a Snapchat in 5th grade called swiftieglitter1000 but they have no one watching out for them and guiding them and they will inevitably be the ones pulling your kids into the worst situations 3-5 years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your 8th grader has a phone? That's the 1st mistake. 9:30-10 lights out.

Kids don’t need phones until they are about 17 years old, no need for a phone before that. 8th graders shouldn’t have phones at all.

17? You think they should be able to drive a car without a phone in case of emergency?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you want your kid to turn out like those other kids?

She can read the messages in the morning.

How is that, exactly? I’m all for waiting until 8th grade at a minimum and digital guardrails as needed, but once they get to a certain age, I wouldn’t necessarily expect there’s going to be any meaningful difference in outcomes between kids who were on their phones til 10 pm and those who had to shut it down at 9.

After looking at the blue quality light on the phone it takes the brain a while to get into a restful state for high quality sleep. Even if someone falls asleep quickly after being on their phone, it doesn't mean that they're getting good quality sleep. And they almost certainly are getting less quantity sleep than if they turned off their phone an hour earlier.