Should a godmother and aunt prioritize a kid’s birthday party?

[Anonymous]

Team SIL all the way. I'd pick an adult party over a kid party in a heartbeat.

[Anonymous]

Beyond a 1st birthday I wouldn't care. I especially wouldn't care if the kid was old enough to be inviting their own friends (so maybe 5+) because they are going to be more interested in their playmates than family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never understand why parents expect other adults to show up to a kids bday party. If you want to do a family thing, do a family dinner at a restaurant or just invite them over for another round of cake at a time its convenient for them - but no you should absolutely not expect an aunt to prioritize milling about at a kids bday party

Agree.

[Anonymous]

I think that generally, yes, a family member's birthday party (even a child's) should be prioritized. But I also don't think it's a big deal to skip a party sometimes. Everyone has their own life to live. I would feel a certain way if my kids' Aunt never showed up to any parties ever, but that does not sound like the case here. OP, correct me if I'm wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I personally think it matters because that’s how I grew up.
My SIL is also my kids Godmother and only lives 20 mins from us. They don’t have kids of their own but spend no time with my DD who is now a tween. No taking her out for ice cream, no going to a movie, nothing in 12 years. My kid sees my family in Europe more than she sees her Aunt here.
You can’t control other people though OP. So you can think it’s rude but you can’t control SIL. She is allowed to make her own choices. You know where her priorities lay.

Why would HER priorities be your child? Of course she makes her own choices as it is HER LIFE. It is none of your business how they spend their time. Do they judge you on how you spend your time? I would avoid you too.

I’m the PP. I didn’t say her priorities should be my child. My priorities weren’t my nephews and niece on a daily basis BUT when I went home to visit my family I made sure I saw them, I sent gifts for Christmas and Birthdays.
Taking their niece out for lunch or an ice cream or something would be a way to stay in touch and create a relationship.
Some people want that, some don’t. Clearly my SIL and OPs do not, it’s sad but just my opinion.

[Anonymous]

No. Have separate parties. A party for the birthday child with their friends doing something kids like then a family dinner another night that’s not full of screaming kids running and playing.

[Anonymous]

Regardless of family member v. friend, it's kinda rude to openly decline an invite for one you haven't even received yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. Have separate parties. A party for the birthday child with their friends doing something kids like then a family dinner another night that’s not full of screaming kids running and playing.

Absolutely this. Expecting auntie to come to the bounce house party for the other 6 year olds is not reasonable. Nice to invite her but reasonable for her to decline if there’s a conflict. Aunties are for doing things like taking you out for a special lunch date, maybe watching you while parents go on weekend trip to Bahamas. Don’t burn that bridge by giving her grief over not attending the class party.

[Anonymous]

Weird that people are saying she should attend if it’s the first birthday. No way that matters to a baby.

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weird that people are saying she should attend if it’s the first birthday. No way that matters to a baby.

Because a first birthday is for the parents. OP says this is a kid birthday not a baby so why would the aunt want to be there?

[Anonymous]

It’s fine. Of course she would rather go to an adult party.

The world does not revolve around you and your kid. It sounds like you are really ready to criticize your sister-in-law for whatever reason. Kind of jumping at the bit for it.

[Anonymous]

I have 19 nieces and nephews. I hope I’m not expected to show for birthdays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of family member v. friend, it's kinda rude to openly decline an invite for one you haven't even received yet.

I think it really depends on the nature of the family's and demands on sil's time.

[Anonymous]

Wow.

I am clearly in the minority here and am with OP. Also wondering why SIL isn’t building a better relationship with her godchild.

My son’s godparents live far away and usually do not even remember his birthday. My best friend, who passed away last year, was an honorary aunt who lived nearby and attended many parties over the years until tween/teen.

Maybe SIL otherwise spends one-on-one time with her godchild? I hope so.