Using Tru Green and neighbor says it’s affecting her lupus and asked us to stop

[Anonymous]

My teen daughter has Lupus. It's a lifelong, potentially debilitating, autoimmune disease whose triggers are really difficult to pinpoint, and can vary wildly by individual. It is well-known that stress and anxiety can exacerbate or trigger Lupus flare-ups. I sympathize when you say that she's nitpicky in general - but that's because it's stressful to live a life where you can suffer at the drop of a hat! It's a vicious circle, OP.

It would be nice if you could stop using toxic chemicals on your property that can be wafted over to a neighbor, particularly if they're vulnerable. Also don't forget it's carcinogenic for you and everyone in your house, OP.

[Anonymous]

The fact that you didn’t immediately apologize and stop spraying crap on your precious lawn (that you apparently aren’t even there to enjoy most of the time) indicates that you are a massive, gaping AH.

Normal, decent human beings don’t blithely aggravate their neighbors serious medical issues because they want green grass all year. Seriously, anyone who even has to question what the right thing to do is in this situation is just a terrible person.

[Anonymous]

It's poison. Lupus is a serious and debilitating autoimmune disease. Have some compassion and also stop putting poison into the environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My teen daughter has Lupus. It's a lifelong, potentially debilitating, autoimmune disease whose triggers are really difficult to pinpoint, and can vary wildly by individual. It is well-known that stress and anxiety can exacerbate or trigger Lupus flare-ups. I sympathize when you say that she's nitpicky in general - but that's because it's stressful to live a life where you can suffer at the drop of a hat! It's a vicious circle, OP.

It would be nice if you could stop using toxic chemicals on your property that can be wafted over to a neighbor, particularly if they're vulnerable. Also don't forget it's carcinogenic for you and everyone in your house, OP.

It’s not your neighbor’s job to manage your anxiety. Why do people even think this is a realistic expectation? It’s not.

[Anonymous]

FYI -- it is silly to think that the spray is only hitting your grass and staying there. Yes, you are tracking it into your house. Yes, it is getting into your neighbor's yard. Better to be honest with yourself about the risk you are taking, and how your behavior impacts others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, especially since this is your second home, I'd identify an alternative. If she seems rather delicate, it's probably the chronic illness.

It's not just the right thing to do because we live in a society, but it's potentially advantageous to you to develop a decent relationship with your neighbor for a house you are not always there to keep an eye on. It will incentivize her to call 911 if your house catches fire, for example.

This, OP. Do her this favor and she will be more likely to help you. She shouldn’t have to move because you want a house you don’t live in to look like a golf course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, especially since this is your second home, I'd identify an alternative. If she seems rather delicate, it's probably the chronic illness.

It's not just the right thing to do because we live in a society, but it's potentially advantageous to you to develop a decent relationship with your neighbor for a house you are not always there to keep an eye on. It will incentivize her to call 911 if your house catches fire, for example.

What alternative?

Why are you using it? We have a nice lawn on a part of our property and never used chemical sprays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teen daughter has Lupus. It's a lifelong, potentially debilitating, autoimmune disease whose triggers are really difficult to pinpoint, and can vary wildly by individual. It is well-known that stress and anxiety can exacerbate or trigger Lupus flare-ups. I sympathize when you say that she's nitpicky in general - but that's because it's stressful to live a life where you can suffer at the drop of a hat! It's a vicious circle, OP.

It would be nice if you could stop using toxic chemicals on your property that can be wafted over to a neighbor, particularly if they're vulnerable. Also don't forget it's carcinogenic for you and everyone in your house, OP.

It’s not your neighbor’s job to manage your anxiety. Why do people even think this is a realistic expectation? It’s not.

PP you replied to. I did not say it was. I said it would be nice if OP stopped using toxic chemicals. Not only as a gesture of goodwill to a vulnerable neighbor, but also for her own health and safety and that of any other household members.

These products should be banned anyway. We need to pivot to genetically modified mosquitoes.

[Anonymous]

What would I do? Say a little prayer of gratitude that I don't have lupus or another debilitating autoimmune disease, apologize to the neighbor, ask if she had recommendations, and start researching environmentally friendly lawn care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just stop, not only for your neighbor’s sake but yours as well. All those chemicals are unnecessary.

I’m fine with it. We’ve used it before at another home, and it worked well. That’s why we are using it again. It gave us a nice lawn

I know two people with lupus. One which was likely caused by exposure to pesticides in the 1960s. She’s now extremely sensitive to chemicals and also had non-hodgkins lymphoma again likely due to chemical exposure. Sure, she can’t necessarily prove it since that is impossible to do but I will add that her father used roundup and all three siblings (including my mom) got non-hodgkins lymphoma. These lawn chemicals are dangerous. And a long healthy life should mean more to you than nice grass.

Just to point out, I’m not spraying it on her lawn. My own lawn. Round up is not the same btw

.

You think spray doesn't carry?

[Anonymous]

She can’t stop you but the lawn spraying is vile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, especially since this is your second home, I'd identify an alternative. If she seems rather delicate, it's probably the chronic illness.

It's not just the right thing to do because we live in a society, but it's potentially advantageous to you to develop a decent relationship with your neighbor for a house you are not always there to keep an eye on. It will incentivize her to call 911 if your house catches fire, for example.

This, OP. Do her this favor and she will be more likely to help you. She shouldn’t have to move because you want a house you don’t live in to look like a golf course.

+1. But also do it because it’s the right thing to do. I judge people very harshly for their stupid manicured, wasteful, environmentally toxic lawns. It tells me you care about appearances more than you care about the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teen daughter has Lupus. It's a lifelong, potentially debilitating, autoimmune disease whose triggers are really difficult to pinpoint, and can vary wildly by individual. It is well-known that stress and anxiety can exacerbate or trigger Lupus flare-ups. I sympathize when you say that she's nitpicky in general - but that's because it's stressful to live a life where you can suffer at the drop of a hat! It's a vicious circle, OP.

It would be nice if you could stop using toxic chemicals on your property that can be wafted over to a neighbor, particularly if they're vulnerable. Also don't forget it's carcinogenic for you and everyone in your house, OP.

It’s not your neighbor’s job to manage your anxiety. Why do people even think this is a realistic expectation? It’s not.

PP you replied to. I did not say it was. I said it would be nice if OP stopped using toxic chemicals. Not only as a gesture of goodwill to a vulnerable neighbor, but also for her own health and safety and that of any other household members.

These products should be banned anyway. We need to pivot to genetically modified mosquitoes.

That’s not what you said, you were concerned about wafting chemicals to a “vulnerable neighbor”. It’s not a banned substance so OP and others can treat their lawns as they seem fit.

[Anonymous]

I think her health should win out here. I wonder why you are hesitant when you're so blessed to not be as reactive as her. I won't say it won't affect you long term but by then you'll forget how you hurt her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, especially since this is your second home, I'd identify an alternative. If she seems rather delicate, it's probably the chronic illness.

It's not just the right thing to do because we live in a society, but it's potentially advantageous to you to develop a decent relationship with your neighbor for a house you are not always there to keep an eye on. It will incentivize her to call 911 if your house catches fire, for example.

This, OP. Do her this favor and she will be more likely to help you. She shouldn’t have to move because you want a house you don’t live in to look like a golf course.

+1. But also do it because it’s the right thing to do. I judge people very harshly for their stupid manicured, wasteful, environmentally toxic lawns. It tells me you care about appearances more than you care about the world.

I guarantee you make bad decisions every day that tells people you don’t care about the world. Nobody cares about your hypocritical judgment.