How Social Are You in Public?

[Anonymous]

Aren't the Yankees a baseball team?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP, I hate to play devil's advocate, but maybe it's you? Maybe your husband is lonely. You said you didn't appreciate talking as much as he does.

I have found that southerners tend to stare and give looks that make them look silly; while northerners tend to be more friendly and chatty. Flame away.

I wont flame you as you raise a good point. For the record I am not a Southerner. I'm from Chicago, DH is from Bmore. I have no problem talking to my husband about his hobbies, his day, anything actually, I love talking to him. I don't want to talk to random strangers about some camping trip that was taken seven years ago, or about the fact that we both have visited the same small town in Oregon, or whether or not the HOA is going to allow the neighbor to put in a gold fixture as opposed to a nickel fixture...

My issue is that I am home with the kids all day and when I have precious time to spend alone with my DH I do not want to share it with a bartender or someone I will never see again. He is gone 8 plus hours a day at work, he can talk up a storm while away from me. If we've hired a babysitter and get the rare chance to go out I want to enjoy him. It's not so much me having an issue with being social as much as it is me not wanting him to be so social on my time with him.

[Anonymous]

How about bringing this up to him? Tell him how it makes you feel. Does he make an effort when you do this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about bringing this up to him? Tell him how it makes you feel. Does he make an effort when you do this?

I have brought it up to him and he really does not understand my issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here -

We always see posts about people who cant make friends or find DC such an unfriendly place, so if people are going to put themselves out there, why not let them? You never know who your next best friend is going to be.

I understand and I agree, but he really doesn't need more friends or commitments. He coaches, he works, he plays a sport, he belongs to networking groups, he has other hobbies. He tends to make plans or invite people out to participate in his hobbies and I don't need more of that in our lives. We are stretched thin as it is, last thing I need is him making plans to fish or hunt or go riding a bike or golfing or boating on a free saturday while I'm home with the kids.

You don't need any of his friends, hobbies in your life but he ,appaently, needs them in his. Are you possessive and want him all to yourself? If so, your got problems.

[Anonymous]

I want to raise the introvert/extravert issue again -- I really think that's what's going on here. These are inborn preferences, not behavioral choices (because he's lonely or avoiding OP or anything like that as a few PPs have suggested.)

Here's a book that might be very useful to you both:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1572244860?ie=UTF8&tag=theintroverta-20&link_code=as3&camp=211189&creative=373489&creativeASIN=1572244860

The author wrote the Introvert Advantage, which I think is terrific.

[Anonymous]

NP here. I was the same way as your DH. And then I realized I was lonely. Maybe your DH is lonely.

[Anonymous]

PP here. Just because he is involved in groups, networking, has friends does not mean he is not lonely.