How to Work From Home with the Baby?

[Anonymous]

10:55 again. OP, I think the posters are reacting to a few things you have said: Are you expected to be responsive on Tuesday or not? That is, do you need to be on conference calls, return email quickly, and turn around memos on the same day? If yes, then you may want to hear what the posters are saying. (and when is there ever near-unanimity on DCUM). We have kids who are older than yours and have tried working, so we have seen the logistical challenges first hand. There is a poster who says either your child will get the short end of the stick or your employer will. I disagree -- with your arrangement, it sounds like there is the potential for both to get short-changed.

If you are not expected to be responsive on Tuesdays, then the posters who suggest working before your child wakes up for the day, during naptime, and after bed time have good suggestions.

For me, I see a disconnect in your posts. You state your job is "very, very demanding and [you] meet those demands." Will your job be less demanding on Tuesdays? Do you have coworkers who will be filling in?

Finally, whether you mean to convey it or not, there is a tone of smugness/superiority in your posts. I am sure you are an "exemplary employee." The rest of us, however, are not a bunch of screwups. The difference is we've had more opportunity to see these plans in action, and some of us don't believe that our past accomplishments will insulate us from unevem performance in the future.

[Anonymous]

That should be "uneven."

[Anonymous]

Considering your deal with your employer - I would suggest working a couple of hours the Monday night after he goes to bed and getting up early on Tuesdays to crank out a few more hours before he gets up.

Oh, and I wouldn't schedule any conference calls. That's just ups your stress level.

[Anonymous]

NP. OP, just don't really call it working from home under your circumstances. If you feel that you have an understanding with your boss and it's clear that you're not going to be doing much and they are actually ok with that, more power to you. You've already had a dose of what's to come--you're struggling to get yourself fed, your child fed, to get on the phone for a call, etc. It's only going to get worse. At 5 months it's one thing but just wait until your baby crawls. I work fulltime from home and have a full time nanny. I agree with a PP--basically everyone is going to get screwed. Unless you're an irresponsible parent and employee, you're going to feel pulled in two directions constantly and spread too thin. Your job is screwed on that day IF the expectation is that you're doing to do more than check email and respond a bit. Your baby is screwed if you're putting him on the back burner so that you can focus on work. You can get a few hours in during your child's naps if he's a great napper and you can get yourself fed and bathroomed when he's awake. If your boss thinks a few hours is ok, then that's ok. I would just make really sure that there is a true understanding of what your obligations are on that day. If they're minimal or none, you're set.

[Anonymous]

Any time I've worked from home with my baby or know friends who do it consistently, only do it with a mother's helper or do the work during naps/nights.

Sorry, OP, but you can't have it both ways.

[Anonymous]

I think the PPs are just annoyed that you don't recognize that most people who work from home don't do it with a baby or child around. There ought to be a different term for that arrangement. In most workplaces, that is a "sick day" or "vacation day" with checking in, at least in my experience.

But if you truly are looking for tips on how to manage this, then I agree with PPs that you don't schedule conference calls for days that you are home. You try to make all your phone calls during baby's long nap, and limit yourself to email during other times. And ideally you stop this arrangement when baby stops taking 2 naps a day (trust me, the older he gets, the less free time you will have). When that happens, you need to move to early mornings or late evenings, and just furtive responses via blackberry during the rest of the day.

[Anonymous]

OP here, I skimmed a lot of these responses because I was trying to avoid the negativity that so many moms/parents seem to have on this board. The other responses were really helpful!

It seems like I have some great ideas here. My son wakes up at 7:30, so I think I'll get up at 6:00 and get a good start, respond to emails, etc. My DH tends to want to spend some time with him in the morning too so I've got a bit of lead there. So then I'll just focus on naps and when he's awake, just doing the "check in" for a couple minutes to make sure there are no fires. Any leftover tasks will get done after he goes to bed (6:30). Since he has three hour long naps, that gives me a solid 5 hours of work time during the day, which I think is MORE than enough. If it isn't, then I'll reevaluate.

It just helps to have a gameplan. Yesterday I did not so I floundered a lot, but I think next week I'll feel much more confident that I can meet my tasks.

Thank you so much to those who wrote back with helpful information!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the PPs are just annoyed that you don't recognize that most people who work from home don't do it with a baby or child around. There ought to be a different term for that arrangement. In most workplaces, that is a "sick day" or "vacation day" with checking in, at least in my experience.

By the way, I wasn't really trying to be hostile by stating this. I was just saying that if you had included some type of recognition that your arrangement is quite unusual, then people might not have been so ready to jump all over you. People are very protective of "appropriate" work from home arrangements, rightly so. But your arrangement is your arrangement, and no one can guess what your employer is thinking or expecting as well as you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I skimmed a lot of these responses because I was trying to avoid the negativity that so many moms/parents seem to have on this board. The other responses were really helpful!

It seems like I have some great ideas here. My son wakes up at 7:30, so I think I'll get up at 6:00 and get a good start, respond to emails, etc. My DH tends to want to spend some time with him in the morning too so I've got a bit of lead there. So then I'll just focus on naps and when he's awake, just doing the "check in" for a couple minutes to make sure there are no fires. Any leftover tasks will get done after he goes to bed (6:30). Since he has three hour long naps, that gives me a solid 5 hours of work time during the day, which I think is MORE than enough. If it isn't, then I'll reevaluate.

It just helps to have a gameplan. Yesterday I did not so I floundered a lot, but I think next week I'll feel much more confident that I can meet my tasks.

Thank you so much to those who wrote back with helpful information!

You might want to make a plan in case of fires as well.

[Anonymous]

PP again. One last tip -- figure out a plan for return phone calls. I suggested that you make all your calls during baby's nap. But what will you do when the person you are trying to reach is not there and you have to leave a message? Do you leave your home number, and if so, are you okay with them possibly getting your home voicemail if baby is screaming when they call back and you can't get to the phone? What if they don't call you back until the next day, in which case you miss the return call because you are now in the office? Do you even want people to have your home number, or have two different numbers in their rolodex for you, or can you forward your work phone to your home phone on those days?

In my experience trying to juggle a sick baby and trying to accomplish "must do" items, this was one that I never figured out well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I skimmed a lot of these responses because I was trying to avoid the negativity that so many moms/parents seem to have on this board. The other responses were really helpful!

It seems like I have some great ideas here. My son wakes up at 7:30, so I think I'll get up at 6:00 and get a good start, respond to emails, etc. My DH tends to want to spend some time with him in the morning too so I've got a bit of lead there. So then I'll just focus on naps and when he's awake, just doing the "check in" for a couple minutes to make sure there are no fires. Any leftover tasks will get done after he goes to bed (6:30). Since he has three hour long naps, that gives me a solid 5 hours of work time during the day, which I think is MORE than enough. If it isn't, then I'll reevaluate.

It just helps to have a gameplan. Yesterday I did not so I floundered a lot, but I think next week I'll feel much more confident that I can meet my tasks.

Thank you so much to those who wrote back with helpful information!

OP, it probably would be a good idea to let your workplace know generally when you will be looking at email/available. That will help coworkers/bosses plan. Otherwise, people at the office might have an expectation that you will respond quickly, even though it is when you are "switched off." That could lead to misunderstandings. And my suggestion is to forget "checking in" to see if there are fires while the baby's awake -- what could you possibly do to address a "fire" if the child needs your attention? Coworkers and you both need to absolutely clear about when your "open time slots" are, so that they aren't waiting on you to get something, and you don't feel like you're "on call." If that can't be negotiated transparently, then please do take another look at the other posters' suggestions that you obtain child care for the hours you are working.

[Anonymous]

I work from home and have full-time childcare, but I started out doing what you do -- working in off hours/naps/snatched seconds here and there.

My son gets to play with other children, which is more fun than watching mommy ignore him or placate him while I'm trying to answer emails, and I get more quality time with him because I pick him up early when I accomplish what I need to for the day.

Perhaps consider that? It works really well for my family. Often on light days (and with employer's knowledge) I pick him up around 2 and we go to the park, etc. and have fun outings instead of trying to deal with him.

And it is a lifesaver on days with actual fires that need to be dealt with. He is a lot happier now than he was when I was trying to watch him and work at the same time.

[Anonymous]

I work from home, and only get about 2 hours done a day- it was more when he was younger and slept more. But I get an hour done while he naps, and then short burst when he is distracted by toys for minutes at a time. My employer knows my part time status so I am fine with it, but If i was expected to put in a full day it would not work

[Anonymous]

I work from home one day a week, and have done so since my daughter (now 15 months) was four months old. Company policy requires me to have childcare while I'm working from home, and while my boss is pretty liberal and has let me know she doesn't care if I follow this, it's pretty much impossible for me to work from home if the baby is home. When she's home, I want to be with her, not working, and that's a problem. Instead of looking at my work from home day as a day at home day with my daughter, I look at it as a chance to get some things done at home while I'm working so I have more time to spend with my family on the weekends. I do our grocery shopping on my way home from dropping her off at daycare, and I have laundry going all day while I work.

[Anonymous]

Once my son went to one nap, he actually slept longer. I think it's unusual, but he would regularly nap for 3-4 hours each afternoon, all the way until he was 4! Sometimes, I would be so bored, I'd want to go wake him up!