How to Work From Home with the Baby?

[Anonymous]

Keep coasting on your past accomplishments and you'll find yourself unemployed. That along with your attitude "Had they not given this to me" means you'll soon have plenty of time with your son. The older he gets, the more he'll know how to get in your way. Plus, as you're finding out, he may be with you more, but the time is not of good quality. Of course, you never said you wanted good quality time, just more time. So, what exactly is your problem? You got what you want, after all.

[Anonymous]

this is the 11:08 poster again.

I just wanted to add that I do agree that it gets harder once the baby is older and more active. My baby now crawls and is not content sitting still anywhere, unless he is sleeping. But when he was younger, he was content to sit and play with toys, lay on the floor, be in the swing or exersaucer, etc.

[Anonymous]

Is it possible to work after your DH comes home from work in the evening? That way you could still put in closer to 8 hours a day on your work from home day. Or make it up other evenings working at night/staying late?

In my job I could work from home more, but my kids are so distracting and want to be with me when I am home, so I go to my office and use childcare.

[Anonymous]

The fact is, in a situation like this someone is going to get the short end of the stick - either your employer or your child. It will be difficult to devote quality time to either your job or your child on that day that you are home. I would prefer a situation of part time for a year and having that one day be the day you can be off and not having to juggle both work and a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact is, in a situation like this someone is going to get the short end of the stick - either your employer or your child. It will be difficult to devote quality time to either your job or your child on that day that you are home. I would prefer a situation of part time for a year and having that one day be the day you can be off and not having to juggle both work and a child.

This. Or, as others have suggested, work early and after bedtime on that day and have a babysitter for part of it. Your baby will soon be past the potted plant stage. It's unworkable. I know several people who have tried personally. It's why smart employers require proof of childcare. Most people who work from home one day relish the ability to save commuting time, do laundry, pick up DC a bit earlier from care. If you want to spend 3 days per week with your child then you need to become PT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:10:53 My employer knows exactly what is going on. I asked for it for one day a week until he was 1 and then we would re-evaluate. I don't really appreciate being told I'm ruining it for you. I'm not pretending that I have help and will be there consistently. My work is very very demanding and I meet those demands, this is my boss's way of saying he understands that and wants to allow me some extra time with my son during this crucial age.

OP - that what is the problem? If your employer understands that you do not have childcare and are the sole childcare provider on Tuesdays, then don't worry about it. Do what you can. If it turns out you don't have enough time to complete your work, then you'll have to re-evaluate, but why worry about it now?

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on the nature of your work. I can normally get about 4-6 hours of real work done on a day I'm home with ds. 1 in the morning before he wakes up, 2-3 during nap times, 1-2 when he's happily playing and maybe another 1-2 in the evening (depending on how the rest of the day went). Conference calls were VERY difficult though, as you can't guarantee a quiet child at the right time. I could call people once he was down for a nap though.

[Anonymous]

If OP is expected to be on conference calls at a given time on that day it doesn't sound like there is a meeting of the minds - that is a lot more than checking email as able.

[Anonymous]

I did this too for a while and it was stressful and I wouldn't really recommend it. If you have a child who is a good and regular napper, obviously that helps. Otherwise, what I did is go "on the clock" for about an hour in the morning before my husband left and then back again when my husband got home at 6:30 or so for three or four hours. Like yours, my employer didn't have high expectations for that day. (My boss had "worked from home" with her daughter one day a week for a couple years and knew the drill.) But I always felt guilty and tense regardless. Next time, I would just accept a part-time schedule and be paid accordingly or get child care for that day (though as the baby gets older, she will not take kindly to being with someone else in the home if she knows you are there too).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:10:53 My employer knows exactly what is going on. I asked for it for one day a week until he was 1 and then we would re-evaluate. I don't really appreciate being told I'm ruining it for you. I'm not pretending that I have help and will be there consistently. My work is very very demanding and I meet those demands, this is my boss's way of saying he understands that and wants to allow me some extra time with my son during this crucial age.

Then you say

I just got permission to work from home with my son, who is 5 months old. My DH has Mondays off, I now work from home on Tuesdays, so he'll be in daycare Wed-Fri. We did this because we want more time with him than before and after work can give. But I worked from home for the first time yesterday and I didn't feel like I had time at all!! In fact, I was panicking getting him to his nap before my 11:00 conference call, worrying about how I'd get some lunch in my stomach while nursing him before I had to finish a memo, and worrying about missing emails while I played with him.

If you are supposed to be on conference calls, write memos and consistently monitor emails, your employer is thinking of this as you working in a different location. You are thinking it will be quality time with your child. Can you negotiate a 4 day a week schedule OP? Why is there the resistance to childcare help? You will still get the saved commute time, can play with him at lunch, etc. If you really want to be playing with him, and feel conflicted with work demands, arrange for a reduced schedule.

[Anonymous]

I work for the Fed Govt and do work at home one day per week. They required that I have childcare while working at home. On that one day, my DH drops my child at daycare. I do participate on conference calls, and I can tell you that there is no way I could do that with my child around. You need to remember that working at home is a privilege, not a right. However, as PPs have said, I do actually get more time with my child even though he is in daycare that day because by the time they arrive home, I can devote undivided attention to my child rather than trying to find time to exercise / do laundry/ run to the grocery store (which I do during my lunch time and normal commuting / getting ready for work time).

[Anonymous]

My co-worker negotiated two days working at home with her 9-month-old child. Everyone knows she's not doing anything on those days, including her supervisor, who has made several comments to me about it. Said employee takes forever to return e-mails, and it's frustrating for everyone who works with her. When she's in the office, she's a great employee, which is why they let her do it in the first place.

I also work from home (full-time, out of state), but we have a nanny share arrangement in which my son is at home 2 days a week and out of the home the other 3. I get to see him more than most, but the nanny deals with everything so I can work. However, I often feel like I have to work harder to prove that I'm working 8 hours a day to make up for the fact that the other employee doesn't actually work when she's home

I'd rethink things so you're being fair to your boss and your fellow employees.

Sorry I don't have any suggestions. I've also tried working in the evening after my husband gets home, but I'm usually too tired and it's no fun for anyone.

[Anonymous]

"My co-worker negotiated two days working at home with her 9-month-old child. Everyone knows she's not doing anything on those days, including her supervisor, who has made several comments to me about it. Said employee takes forever to return e-mails, and it's frustrating for everyone who works with her. When she's in the office, she's a great employee, which is why they let her do it in the first place. "

We have several similar cases in my office, they are VERY bad for morale.

[Anonymous]

10:53 here. I didn't say you were ruining it for me. I said there is a lot of resistance in the workplace to telecommuting and childcare is a primary reason for that resistance. The fact is that you're NOT there consistently. You're "spending extra time with your son". Nobody is questioning your doing that.

Others may have said it more diplomatically, but if the employer's expectation is that you are answering emails during core business hours, working on projects, and participating in conference calls, in my experience, it is not feasible unless you have somebody helping take care of the baby. Of all the women I know who work from home on a full- or part-time basis, ALL of us have some kind of daycare arrangement with the exception of one woman who is a free-lance grant writer and bills maybe 15 hours a month. She can do that work after the kids are in bed or on the weekend, when her husband is home (see, even in this situation, she is not the primary childcare provider when she's working, her husband is).

MY solution for working at home with a baby was to go part-time and use outside daycare on the days I work. This gives me more time with my child. On non-work days -- which is your Tuesday -- I can sporadically monitor email (but certainly not constantly) and maybe get a couple of hours in during nap time/after bed since my primary focus those days is the baby.

Is your husband in the same field as you? Is he supposed to be working from home on Mondays? What are his strategies for getting work done?

[Anonymous]

I am a Fed and have the MOST understanding boss, but as you know, with telework a Fed MUST have childcare. That said, when a kid is sick, my boss is fine if I put in leave for just the hours I can't work; if i work when the kid is napping or just zoning (because they don't feel good), then she's ok with that. That's the kind of arrangement your boss should expect on your day at home - you are technically 'off', but might be able to work a bit, depending on the kid. And yeah, if it's tough at 5 months, it's going to be impossible in a few more months.

I have two good friends who work from home PT (20 hrs/wk) with no child care. With one, she is up until 2-3am most nights since she doesn't have time to work during the day while watching her kids (with the first she got maybe an hour or so in during the day, but her oldest never napped, so yeah). With the other friend, she managed to get through the first year because her kid is a great napper, but after the one-year mark, she couldn't handle it and had to send her kid to daycare. She also spends one day a week in the office and rarely has routine conference calls every day (like I do).

I also don't know why you feel bad sending your kid to daycare. If it's money, I'm not sure how, since in my experience, daycare rates aren't simply an hour-to-dollar percentage of FT; for example, 3 days/wk in my daycare is only $40 less per week than FT. Doesn't add up to take the paycut of PT hours if the cost of daycare isn't that much less. Also, you will not be paying attention to your kid most of the time - they will be in the bouncer, playmat, etc. while you are working. It's better for them to be in a daycare setting and at least getting attention from teachers and other kids.

I'd recommend what other posters have - adjust your hours on that day so you don't HAVE to work when the baby is awake. But to me, that arrangement seems more stressful than if you kept to your normal routine, not to mention any unforseen impact it can have on your job.