Transferring to less affluent school

[Anonymous]

We just moved to a school with free lunches because of high poverty and a bad reputation - and I'm pleasantly surprised. My kids have fallen in with a group of over-achievers (whereas in their previous school, everyone was an over-over achiever and so my kids were with the more average kids), they get more attention from the teachers because they are at the top of the class rather than languishing near the middle, and we have not seen any sort of violence - they have metal detectors and I feel safer with them there than at a school without a pre-entry search.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am from a town in the rural south and I think a lot of the posters who are saying private Christian school don’t know what they’re talking about. I said this is someone who went to a private Christian school in a larger city. Once we moved you don’t want to send your kid to a right wing Christian segregation academy.

Sorry there are typos in this. I spent my childhood in a small town for the only privates were weirdo Christian segregation academies. The public school sucked. It was better to be in a public school then went to a private Christian high school that wasn’t a segregation Academy so I’m not opposed to Christian private schools that was a private school. Those Christian Academy that you described is probably one of the sucky ones. I’d choose public.

Are you White and Christian? Join the local Episcopal church and have her do youth group or choir. Or if there’s a Presbyterian Church USA church, consider that. Do not do Presbyterian Church of America. Either of those churches has a good chance of getting her in with the, relatively wealthier and higher achieving kids. Also, have her do an activity like your book that attracts the nerds. Go talk to the guidance counselor and make sure she gets into all of the highest academic classes even if you think it previous school she shouldn’t be in the highest academic track, and the school she should. Partially for social reasons. Even if you end up, dropping her down to lower classes, you want her starting out in the higher classes so that she makes friends there.

If you’re posting us for more than two years, apply to boarding schools in eighth grade. I don’t know what your household income is, but some of the top boarding schools are starting to give really good scholarships for the middle class.

[Anonymous]

Sorry about all the typos above. I am dictating on my phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are in a district in the midwest where one of the middle schools is, I guess you could say, "prone to violence" in that there are regular fights in the cafeteria, all the microscopes have been broken, various kids smell of pot, 50+% free/reduced lunch, etc. It is the "bad" school in our district. That said, my colleague's daughter is there, and she just stays removed from it, taking honors classes where possible. There are a critical mass of academically-inclined, behaved kids, even if they are the minority. You can always nerdy kids in theater and marching band if your dd is that type. I would 100% send my kids to that school, at least to start, over the small Christian school, since there are so many academic and extracurricular activities, and she would be removed from the main disciplinary issues, even if it would be distracting at times.

Being poor, smelling of pot, etc, have nothing to do with “prone to violence.” Jesus you people are the worst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am from a town in the rural south and I think a lot of the posters who are saying private Christian school don’t know what they’re talking about. I said this is someone who went to a private Christian school in a larger city. Once we moved you don’t want to send your kid to a right wing Christian segregation academy.

I went to high school in a former segregation academy in the rural south (proudly founded in 1956). At least it was integrated and slightly less racist when I got there. The local school district was one of the worst in a state with one of the worst education systems. There aren't always great or even good choices

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:yes, have her take honors or intensified or whatever the poor kids won't take.

I’m thinking whoever writes these comments has to have gone to standard middle class schools. They have no idea what schools are like where the majority of kids are from low income homes or schools where the majority of kids are from high income families. It’s just so ignorant.

Honors classes are for students who qualify based on past performance. What makes you assume her daughter is qualified and poor kids aren’t?

There same groups are in almost every school they just vary in percent. Schools all have the top 10% who will do well and not get involved with trouble. There are the students who have learning disabilities and they spend their free time in learning centers to help them do well. Then the other students in all different groups, maybe the ones in athletics, the ones in drama, the ones in alternative lifestyles, the ones into drugs and skipping school.

She’ll find a group that she fits with and hopefully it’s one of the good ones. As for violence she didn’t get into detail, there needs to be more details.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just moved to a school with free lunches because of high poverty and a bad reputation - and I'm pleasantly surprised. My kids have fallen in with a group of over-achievers (whereas in their previous school, everyone was an over-over achiever and so my kids were with the more average kids), they get more attention from the teachers because they are at the top of the class rather than languishing near the middle, and we have not seen any sort of violence - they have metal detectors and I feel safer with them there than at a school without a pre-entry search.

Kids will find their group hopefully when they get to a new school.

A lot of schools have free lunch for all students now. They kept it after Covid. Our school has about 5% of students qualified for free lunch but the schools still kept the free lunch for everyone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious where you’ll be but I’m Jewish and private Christian sounds better.

Deep South.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Public.

I know well the type of tiny private Christian school you are talking about. These are not like traditional Catholic schools with good academics and discipline. These are the schools where parents send their kids who were kicked out of public. And a fair number of the teachers at the school will be people who were made to resign from their public school position because of doing/saying very inappropriate things to students.

Lots of people send their kids to so-so publics and use the money they would otherwise have spent on private school to supplement.

You said it was move for military, so you could also homeschool. Lots of military families do that so you would have a good network.

As someone who went to a tiny church school for a while as a kid it's not necessarily all that bad (don't think any of my teachers had a bad track record), but it really isn't great. Most people I know who attended those types of schools grew up really bitter about it. That was even with OK teachers and only a few behavior cases - far fewer than my kids' decently affluent public honestly. The curriculum was just so hit-you-over-the-head-with-indoctrination. I'm still a devout Christian, but man I hated that curriculum. I've seen Christian education done so much better since.

I second looking into homeschool. Are there any good co-ops where you're moving?

I work full-time (remotely, but for an actual company with actual hours, not an MLM) so homeschooling isn't an option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do other military families do in the area?

We send our kid to a “bad” MS but I would draw the line at violence. Our MS is actually very very safe because the admins are on top of it, have a whole behavior support team, metal detector, etc.

If I had to chose between violence and poor academics I’d go for the Christian school and add in private tutoring.

That said, sometimes people exaggerate “violence.” I’d suggest you go to the school, talk to teachers and parents, to form your own opinion.

Other families do homeschool. And metal detectors (imagine needing them in the first place!)don't stop fist fights and drugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are in a district in the midwest where one of the middle schools is, I guess you could say, "prone to violence" in that there are regular fights in the cafeteria, all the microscopes have been broken, various kids smell of pot, 50+% free/reduced lunch, etc. It is the "bad" school in our district. That said, my colleague's daughter is there, and she just stays removed from it, taking honors classes where possible. There are a critical mass of academically-inclined, behaved kids, even if they are the minority. You can always nerdy kids in theater and marching band if your dd is that type. I would 100% send my kids to that school, at least to start, over the small Christian school, since there are so many academic and extracurricular activities, and she would be removed from the main disciplinary issues, even if it would be distracting at times.

Being poor, smelling of pot, etc, have nothing to do with “prone to violence.” Jesus you people are the worst.

Have you...never lied in a low-income area? Yes, they are more violent locations. Yes, smelling of pot = smoking pot = more violence. You sound incredibly naive.

[Anonymous]

Can you homeschool ?

Either choose your own curriculum or go with an online school and its pre-packaged Curriculum ?

(DC can socialize with local kids in the neighborhood or on-base outside school hours.)

Military colleague is Catholic and found a catholic online+homeschool setup which they use. The online school is based in or near Front Royal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say lean in on the public option and celebrate the different perspectives of this new student body. It can’t be that bad and I’m sure your family will learn some new things about other cultures and ways of living. It really is a wonderful opportunity.

Did you miss the PRONE TO VIOLIENCE part of the post. I’m all for meeting mew people and experiences but not if it includes violence.

That means nothing without concrete information. Fights in the hallway? Guns? What? This could be exaggerated, probably is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious where you’ll be but I’m Jewish and private Christian sounds better.

I was thinking it sounded like the Florida panhandle.

I’d choose the small private school. Academics can be supplemented.

Christian schools lie about historical facts and they leave a lot of history out that makes the US look bad. They also ban books based on their religion. I would not trust them at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious where you’ll be but I’m Jewish and private Christian sounds better.

I was thinking it sounded like the Florida panhandle.

I’d choose the small private school. Academics can be supplemented.

Christian schools lie about historical facts and they leave a lot of history out that makes the US look bad. They also ban books based on their religion. I would not trust them at all.

You literally just made that up.