Divorce parties kind of sad to be honest

[Anonymous]

I had no desire to celebrate, I was just glad it was over and I could get on with my life. Now, if I had walked away with $10 million I might have celebrated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend was mad that I wasn't in a celebratory mood and thought a party was weird. I think a lot of people just like parties and want you to move on to find someone else so they don't have a friend that is single or worry about you hitting on the married men. That was my experience. There is some benefit to it ans sometimes I wish I had one even though I wasn't up for it. Many divorces are very contentious and you feel very alone and just tired and sad. It helps to have friends around you and something to look forward to in your life after divorce. I'm kind of mixed feelings on it.

This is interesting..can someone explain why some women think that divorced women may hit on their husbands? Men don't think a divorced guy out there is going to hit on their wife. But some women have that weird insecurity and it's bizarre.

It’s because divorce is contagious. It sweeps through social groups.

If anything, the men should be exiling the divorced woman because she’s more likely to be an example for the other women who are in not-healthy marriages. Women initiate the vast majority of divorces.

lol

It’s the selfish, ignorant men who see their divorced male contacts bragging about only one side - the travel, the no wife in the house wanting things clean & tidy, the 50%+ break from the kids, the extra time at the office - who start thinking that’s the ticket!

Then they go all passive aggressive and behave worse than ever, hoping their wives do the divorce paperwork and process for them.

I have seen this directly, at least once. Males are very good at this silent treatment thing, and wait it out passive approach. My person situation was a Mexican Stand Off (without weaponry). Equally unhealthy. My husband ended up filing.

[Anonymous]

I don't know of this is the same thing but my STBX and I had a party celebrating our marriage. It didn't last, but it was still a good marriage.

[Anonymous]

People divorce for different reasons. My ex husband was abusive. I celebrated my freedom. It was a wonderful party.

[Anonymous]

awww! I love it. I had one of those too— the marriage , not the party. Marriage 15 years. Many of those years were wonderful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know of this is the same thing but my STBX and I had a party celebrating our marriage. It didn't last, but it was still a good marriage.

Love is such a hard and unique thing. We are lucky to experience it once in our lives. Children atoo… such pain … and love and deep joy…

Love this idea of celebrating a thing that once lived. Why not ?

[Anonymous]

I don’t think there’s any harm in a break-up party.
Between crying to break up songs in the car, and keeping in tears back while some else describes their relationship, or trying not to be bitter and roll your eyes while the entire table next to you describes bridesmaid dresses and hairdos…

What’s the harm in producing this moment:

“Remember when all of my friends got together when it was all over ?!! That was fun!”

[Anonymous]

I did a gray divorce and had a 2 month cruise booked for a week after the docs were to be signed. And they were.

Kids were in college and I didn’t miss anything there either. Work was fine with it too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did a gray divorce and had a 2 month cruise booked for a week after the docs were to be signed. And they were.

Kids were in college and I didn’t miss anything there either. Work was fine with it too.

In the middle of gray divorce now, over 50, but kids are still young teens. I’m pretty envious of your cruise.

[Anonymous]

I'm happily married and think this is fine and even healthy. The one caveat I would have is that if you have kids who are minors I think celebrating a divorce in any way they can see is unkind to them. Divorce is hard on kids even when it is amicable (and often it is not amicable specifically because there are kids and this keeps divorced people in each other's lives in a way they don't always like). To visibly celebrate the end of your family life together would be mean to kids even if things were not that great in the family for a while -- kids don't know anything else.

But if a someone getting out of a bad marriage wants to celebrate with friends or with a trip or something -- do it! Turn a page and make the best of your life. I have no interest in ever getting divorced but I get that other people are miserable in their marriages and can't make it any better and I want those people to have a chance at happiness.

[Anonymous]

A divorce party isn't necessarily about celebrating the end of a marriage, but in many cases about getting yourself back. Let's try not to judge others' experiences and how they cope with major life changes. You never know the full story of anyone else's relationship, even that of your closest friends and family.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I think marriage is an antiquated idea anyway. Our country needs to offer more support for individuals who choose to partner without getting married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm happily married and think this is fine and even healthy. The one caveat I would have is that if you have kids who are minors I think celebrating a divorce in any way they can see is unkind to them. Divorce is hard on kids even when it is amicable (and often it is not amicable specifically because there are kids and this keeps divorced people in each other's lives in a way they don't always like). To visibly celebrate the end of your family life together would be mean to kids even if things were not that great in the family for a while -- kids don't know anything else.

It's hard on the kids if they aren't minors. If my mom (or dad) was throwing a divorce party, I wouldn't show up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It reflects a certain immaturity that almost certainly contributed to the failure of the marriage in the first place.

+1

[Anonymous]

Hire a few chippendale dancers and make it a real party.