Executor not providing information and stalling distribution
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Anonymous
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OP you are ridiculous and your impatience will cost you money. First of all - have you put money ahead of memorializing your father? That’s sad. But you are underestimating the complexities. Two homes to empty and sell is not simple. Gathering all the information on what your father actually had takes some research - a year plus is more than normal for most ‘usual’ resolutions. IF you hire a lawyer your sister as executor will have to have the estate attorney review and respond (costing the estate.) You will also lose money as you pay for this consultation.
Your sister may be fleecing the estate but yes - she can pay herself for her time (as mentioned above usually a bad idea as one of the beneficiaries) but what she shouldn’t do is decide to settle a debt (what she says your father owed her) unless it was codified or mentioned in the will. How many beneficiaries? Just you and your sibling? Remember to always think whatever issue you are trying to resolve is X divided by how many are named and see what value each outrage really means. Sounds like at minimum your first inheritance is estrangement from your sister. |
Anonymous
I didn’t say it was exceptionally hard. But unless the deceased is extremely well organized, it’s a matter of figuring out what you are dealing with. It’s unreasonable for op to be looking for a reporting out or a payment with 4 months of the death. |
Anonymous
That’s the important question. When an executor is not open and transparent with beneficiaries, they can’t help but wonder why the executor is being secretive. |
Anonymous
| Oh gosh, I wonder why you weren’t named as the executor? |
Anonymous
Nothing should be paid out for 6 months until all bills come in and paid, however, you can easily do a spreadsheet for transparency so there is no hard feelings or theft. Why the secrets. You can do it. |
Anonymous
My sibling is playing games. They wonder why I will not speak to them. I even did parts of it and set up a spreadsheet and they kept doing things like spending behind my back. |
Anonymous
I don’t know the OP’s situation, but I’m familiar with situations where the executor manipulated the parent to be named sole executor. There’s a case in my extended family where the two siblings had been listed as co executors for more than twenty years when, as the parent’s health went downhill, one sibling took the parent to a lawyer’s office to write a new will and got herself listed as sole executor. If an executor is secretive and avoiding sharing info with the other beneficiary, I would wonder how they managed to get themselves named as the only executor. Especially if she is writing checks to herself from the estate |
Anonymous
I was the executor, and managed to do the distribution in 5 months. I worked like a maniac to get the money to my brother, who harassed me multiple times a week. ugh. |
Anonymous
OP, you could set up a consultation with a probate lawyer, explain the facts of what is going on and get their take on the situation. The lawyer could give you some advice on how to deal with the executor now and what your expectations should be going forward. I was in a situation like this and met with a probate lawyer several times during the process. She gave me some good ideas on how best to approach the executor and how to remind the executor of her legal duties to the estate. Just knowing what the rules are in the district where probate is taking place can be helpful. |
Anonymous
Right, and no one should have to go through what you did. I doubt there is anything to be secretive about yet. I would be very much surprised if such a spreadsheet exists. |
Anonymous
| I think third parties should be executors unless there is only one sole beneficiary or unless the executor is honest to a fault. Families get destroyed over this type of thing and there are so many unethical people out there. |
Anonymous
How is it a waste of the estate’s money for the attorney and the accountant to answer questions from a beneficiary? Isn’t providing answers to questions about the estate and its finances a part of their respective jobs? I mean, you did already have an attorney and an accountant for the estate before your sister got a lawyer, right? You weren’t trying to DIY the executor duties and getting advice from Facebook, were you? |
Anonymous
Is it though? Run a credit report and you will find the bulk the debts and the balance that needs to be paid. Harder things like have the taxes been paid in the past N years is harder, but still something you can estimate. DW's mother passed. We had a pretty good idea of what what the result was going to be in a month. She was a hoarder, but will still managed to piece together a decent estimate of the way things stood. |
Anonymous
No. We are custodians and executors for friends & family and now that the kids are out of college, we're begging people to change their wills and make their kids executors. It is just way too much work for a third party if you aren't a beneficiary. You could hire it out but the fees are prohibitively expensive and the whole process would probably take even longer. |
Anonymous
I think you can decline the appointment to be the executor which I think would be perfectly fine now that the kids are adults and you told them you don't want the job so they had the chance to replace you. |