Grandmother posting pictures of kid on social media

[Anonymous]

OP has no leverage here. Stop posting pics or what? Nothing. That’s what.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, husband has a right to post photos. Grandma is his extension. What exactly do you expect a company to do? They allow posts of children and child models, who get paid.

Next time get it in writing during your divorce.

Or do a post-divorce modification - give Father something he wants in exchange. That’s how it works… in negotiations for modifying or supplementing agreements. Or spend your time talking to tech companies who are selling eager to spend money on sorting out your family affairs.

Husband has a right to post photos. Grandma doesn’t, without parental consent. Facebook report will solve this.

What if grandma takes pictures out in public where anyone and everyone is also allowed to take pictures? Don't think there is much you can do about that.

Facebook will still take them down if the child is under 13 and a parent reports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely say something. Be really nice about it and explain your reasons. Since you are divorced from her kid, you have to be more delicate because if he’s approved it, there’s probably nothing you can do about it.

I don’t think she has any reasons except control. Some immature parents have this “it’s mine, you can’t post pictures of it” mentality. Do you really think that anyone is looking at her page and specifically at your ordinary child? They are too busy looking at Beyonce's kids or Kardashian kids.

Responsible parents don’t have their kids on social media so they don’t wind up in deepfake pornography when some sicko stumbles across Granny’s Facebook page.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely say something. Be really nice about it and explain your reasons. Since you are divorced from her kid, you have to be more delicate because if he’s approved it, there’s probably nothing you can do about it.

I don’t think she has any reasons except control. Some immature parents have this “it’s mine, you can’t post pictures of it” mentality. Do you really think that anyone is looking at her page and specifically at your ordinary child? They are too busy looking at Beyonce's kids or Kardashian kids.

Responsible parents don’t have their kids on social media so they don’t wind up in deepfake pornography when some sicko stumbles across Granny’s Facebook page.

Oh do get f-ed. You are truly insufferable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, husband has a right to post photos. Grandma is his extension. What exactly do you expect a company to do? They allow posts of children and child models, who get paid.

Next time get it in writing during your divorce.

Or do a post-divorce modification - give Father something he wants in exchange. That’s how it works… in negotiations for modifying or supplementing agreements. Or spend your time talking to tech companies who are selling eager to spend money on sorting out your family affairs.

Husband has a right to post photos. Grandma doesn’t, without parental consent. Facebook report will solve this.

What if grandma takes pictures out in public where anyone and everyone is also allowed to take pictures? Don't think there is much you can do about that.

Facebook will still take them down if the child is under 13 and a parent reports.

Not if you can’t see them because you’re blocked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. You are out of sync. Just ask her to fix her settings. Then you don’t have to see them

Problem . Solved.

Way to (deliberately?) miss the point. She doesn't want anyone seeing pictures of her child.

OP: Tell Grandmother that you do not want your child on social media and if she can't respect that, you'll have no choice but to either take her phone/camera when she visits, or prohibit visits entirely.

No. I got the point. I do not believe a single parent has the legal or moral right to do this. It is ALSO out of sync with social norms, especially if grandma only has her grandchild posts on friend-settings.

Well 1) grandma has a public profile, and 2) it doesnt matter what YOU believe, parents 100% have the right to keep their children off SM.
Grandma is stepping over the line, and needs to be reminded - gently at first - that this is inappropriate. If it continues, I would escalate with FB.

100% guarantee that the same parents who want to “protect” kids from having their photo posted by grandma on social media are the exact same ones who do not think it’s necessary to protect kids from being sterilized or having body parts removed by affirming surgeries.

[Anonymous]

Wow this interesting debate took a turn for the worse. It went from photos to sterilization

This is what happens when people have no outlets, an agenda and no self-control. Sorry for your social struggles !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely say something. Be really nice about it and explain your reasons. Since you are divorced from her kid, you have to be more delicate because if he’s approved it, there’s probably nothing you can do about it.

Most things that I have “gotten” post divorce is from being really nice, showing that I am nice and basically earning it. People reward.

[Anonymous]

OP this would not be ok with me either, especially the public setting. Does she know it’s set to public? She might not and you can explain it. DH should be stepping up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick a priority— getting your kid off social media or not causing tension.

“Evangeline, hi it’s Elaine. Would you mind taking the photos of Larla down from Facebook? Ernest may not have told you but we are keeping her off social media for her own safety. Thanks so much”

And if that doesn’t work you report the photos to facebook and they will take them down.

Why is the fact that you included the greeting killing me?!

This is one of my favorite DCUM things, especially the very generational names for MILs like "hi Barb" -.always gives me a chuckle.

"Dear Linda, since you forgot Brayden's birthday I'm NOT going to make your favorite green bean casserole for Thanksgiving. Regards, Jen."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. You are out of sync. Just ask her to fix her settings. Then you don’t have to see them

Problem . Solved.

Way to (deliberately?) miss the point. She doesn't want anyone seeing pictures of her child.

OP: Tell Grandmother that you do not want your child on social media and if she can't respect that, you'll have no choice but to either take her phone/camera when she visits, or prohibit visits entirely.

No. I got the point. I do not believe a single parent has the legal or moral right to do this. It is ALSO out of sync with social norms, especially if grandma only has her grandchild posts on friend-settings.

It’s not out of sync with social norms, it’s out of sync with boomer entitlement, that’s not the same thing.

What is it with the boomers? My mother is personally offended that we asked her not to post pictures of our kids. If we try to explain reasons she just argues with us. She complains constantly that she wishes her sisters could see how the kids are growing (I told her to feel free to text photos to her sisters, but this does not satisfy her). Why does she care so much about posting pictures of my kids on FB? Attention, I guess.

Anyway, in this case (since ex has refused to step in), I like the first proposed response to grandma. Sure, you have no leverage if she refuses, but she might well be a nice person. Dare to dream!

[Anonymous]

I’m seeing a rapid change in norms around me. Most of my elementary kid’s friends’ families are becoming much more conservative about SM posts of their kids. The techier they are, the more cautious they are. What AI can create with a relatively small number of images is concerning. I have always limited what I post about or showing my children on SM, but at this point I am not posting any pictures or videos. My FAANG friends are withdrawing permissions for pictures at school functions, etc.

I don’t think OP is being a loon. And my feelings have become more supportive of her in the short time this has posted just from seeing some very real looking “deepfakes” over the last week or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s the worst that can happen?

AI Is Being Trained on Images of Real Kids Without Consent
"Any child who has any photo or video of themselves online is now at risk."

https://futurism.com/ai-trained-images-kids#

[Anonymous]

I’d report them to Facebook first to get them removed (they will do it) and then contact her to let her know that you did it (and will continue) and why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d report them to Facebook first to get them removed (they will do it) and then contact her to let her know that you did it (and will continue) and why.

I'd contact her first, unless you already have evidence she won't respect your request. This woman is going to have access to photos of your children through her son. It's better to remain on civil terms if possible.