If your kid is more successful than you

[Anonymous]

Only if they asked. They wouldn’t waste much on their wedding.
They have had investment account since they were young. Would like the keep finances separate until it’s time to pass the money to them.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you talk to your son once it becomes an issue? We paid for our own wedding. We wanted to and didn't want any parent money. We don't make as much as your son, but you don't really have to to have a wedding I think historically parents also paid because wedding guests were invited by the parents, not bride and groom. Nowadays the newlyweds want to invite their friends instead of distant relatives or dad's business partners.

[Anonymous]

My in laws contributed 30k to our wedding (DH and I made $500k+ then). They are also in the 10M net worth range. My parents contributed the same, and their net worth is significantly less. We didn’t need it but have appreciated it so much. It made it possible for us to get a down payment on a house sooner, etc.

[Anonymous]

I would talk with them about it. I personably would pay for the honeymoon or something. Something that could get expensive and they could do luxuriously and also remember your gift later.

[Anonymous]

As a rule of thumb, no one should be wasting lot of money on a wedding. It doesn't matter its them, you or parents of their spouse, money saved would make their life easier as this way they'll keep their money for useful things, won't have to help out any of the four parents with retirement, any money they or any grandparents save, would go to future kids.

[Anonymous]

I would feel awful not offering to contribute to my child’s wedding after my parents paid for mine. Fund the honeymoon or something but if you’re not hosting…you’re guests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would feel awful not offering to contribute to my child’s wedding after my parents paid for mine. Fund the honeymoon or something but if you’re not hosting…you’re guests.

All parents of 30+ year olds getting married are basically guests in the modern age. Even if you were paying 100%, it’s not like the old days where it was really the parents were hosts and invited all their friends and business associates (who the couple probably had never met before the wedding).

[Anonymous]

Parents paid because in old days kids were minors or just starting, unlike today's couples who are older and employed for several years at wedding.

Obviously if kids aren't well settled and you have extra money, you'll leave for them anyways, you can use some to help out with their wedding if needed. That would be nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would feel awful not offering to contribute to my child’s wedding after my parents paid for mine. Fund the honeymoon or something but if you’re not hosting…you’re guests.

All parents of 30+ year olds getting married are basically guests in the modern age. Even if you were paying 100%, it’s not like the old days where it was really the parents were hosts and invited all their friends and business associates (who the couple probably had never met before the wedding).

Surely you have many sets of friends family who were around as your child grew up at home; they alway get invited. We had 3-4 tables of 8 of them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would feel awful not offering to contribute to my child’s wedding after my parents paid for mine. Fund the honeymoon or something but if you’re not hosting…you’re guests.

All parents of 30+ year olds getting married are basically guests in the modern age. Even if you were paying 100%, it’s not like the old days where it was really the parents were hosts and invited all their friends and business associates (who the couple probably had never met before the wedding).

Surely you have many sets of friends family who were around as your child grew up at home; they alway get invited. We had 3-4 tables of 8 of them

Only if the marrying couple wants them to attend. I don’t plan to impose any guests on their wedding.

[Anonymous]

I think a) only if they ask AND b) you have guest you want to invite. I think a nice thing to offer is to pay for a discrete vendors, like the photographer which regularly runs over $10K in a HCOL city

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a) only if they ask AND b) you have guest you want to invite. I think a nice thing to offer is to pay for a discrete vendors, like the photographer which regularly runs over $10K in a HCOL city

This is insane. Eat the rich

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This seems like a situation where you should gift something meaningful instead of outright pay for the whole thing. For instance my parents paid for several relatives, who couldn't afford it on their own, to come to my wedding and that meant a lot to me. My husband's father sprung for an excellent band for the reception. Etc.

This was really nice and a great idea for someone who has it all.

How is he doing with student loans? I assume he has none. If he does the wedding could still be a struggle on his own

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are more "successful" than his parents, but for various reasons our net incomes isn't as high as it looks on paper. Lots of medical expenses, student loans, taxes from being business owners, etc.

DH's parents have helped us out several times over the years including the kids college education. We appreciate it very much. Help your kids, OP. You clearly can, so what's the problem? What else are you going to do with your NINE MILLION?!

Sounds like you aren’t as successful as your DH’s parents.

Don’t disagree about the $9MM, but you need the money.

Time is money. I think she means in terms of the rate of accumulating it