WWYD fragrance allergy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not waste my time dating someone who could not be bothered to take simple steps to accommodate my allergies.

This.

If you mentioned it upfront, and had a conversation about it, and it's still going on, that's three strikes. DTMFA.

[Anonymous]

Sorry about your allergy, but the way you even approached this post… Means it’s probably more than the fragrance allergy for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not waste my time dating someone who could not be bothered to take simple steps to accommodate my allergies.

This.

If you mentioned it upfront, and had a conversation about it, and it's still going on, that's three strikes. DTMFA.

+1. My mother encountered the fragrance problem on the first date with my dad. She explained, he understood and accommodated fully, and they had a long happy marriage. This isn't something the non-sensitive person is going to succeed in changing about the sensitive/allergic person by ignoring the problem or being a jerk about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry about your allergy, but the way you even approached this post… Means it’s probably more than the fragrance allergy for him.

+1. Needing hydrocortisone does not necessitate going to the ER. Even if it’s prescription strength. I bet you exaggerate the extent of your ‘allergy’ and a lot of it is just in your head. But it sounds like you guys just aren’t a match. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry for your condition. You should break up with him. You are going to have a hard time finding a partner. It will be very difficult for someone to deal with your condition. Be very upfront on the first date about your allergies in the future.

Be clear on the first date that you can only date him if he agrees to never wear a fragrance, and that every product should be scent free.

This is ridiculous. Most men are fine giving up on fragrances if it means they get to have sex with a woman they like.

-Signed, allergen ridden woman who was in five serious relationships and two shorter relationships before I met my husband. They were ALL fine with going fragrance free. None of them gave a damn.

[Anonymous]

I tell men I date that they must use fragrance free products.

[Anonymous]

You can be allergic to smell. Sorry, not possible. You can be allergic to an underlying food protein that you have inhaled or you can have a skin reaction to coming in contact with an underlying ingredient in say perfume but just smelling something does not create an allergic reaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can be allergic to smell. Sorry, not possible. You can be allergic to an underlying food protein that you have inhaled or you can have a skin reaction to coming in contact with an underlying ingredient in say perfume but just smelling something does not create an allergic reaction.

cannot

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can be allergic to smell. Sorry, not possible. You can be allergic to an underlying food protein that you have inhaled or you can have a skin reaction to coming in contact with an underlying ingredient in say perfume but just smelling something does not create an allergic reaction.

Why can't you have an allergic reaction from smelling something? Why couldn't whatever compounds/molecules that create a scent cause a histamine reaction when it comes in contact with membranes in the mouth, lungs, eyes or nose??

Even if there wasn't scientific evidence for it (and there is), common sense should tell you that some people may have a reaction to compounds that you don't. We all know that when the membranes of some people come in contact with pollen, pet dander, dust, onions, tear gas, etc. that there can be a histamine response. Why wouldn't some people react to compounds in scented products?

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36976159/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31433384/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry about your allergy, but the way you even approached this post… Means it’s probably more than the fragrance allergy for him.

+1. Needing hydrocortisone does not necessitate going to the ER. Even if it’s prescription strength. I bet you exaggerate the extent of your ‘allergy’ and a lot of it is just in your head. But it sounds like you guys just aren’t a match. Move on.

NP. I wonder why some PPs here are so determined to insist that OP is exaggerating, it's "in her head" etc. I'd wager you think the same about anyone who tells you they have an allergy that isn't one YOU can understand because it doesn't cause them to, oh, drop dead in anaphylactic shock instantly, or break out in massive hives you can see. I pity anyone in your family who has reactions to anything at all; they likely don't bother to tell you since you'll dismiss and belittle them.

[Anonymous]

NP. I dislike it when people say they’re allergic to fragrance, aka scented products. They should say they’re allergic to some molecules is some scented products. I don’t think anyone can say they’re allergic to thousands of molecules.

The other thing is many non scented products have a scent, but it’s more subtle. It masks the unpleasant scent of the functional ingredients which typically are not scent free.

l was very sensitive to certain scents while pregnant, one coworker had a cologne l could smell from over 100 ft away. I explained and he graciously stopped wearing it immediately.

My advice to OP is explain your allegery but in a more honest way so people don’t discount you as hysterical. And don’t sleep with a guy who still wears cologne after you ask him not to - totally not cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. I dislike it when people say they’re allergic to fragrance, aka scented products. They should say they’re allergic to some molecules is some scented products. I don’t think anyone can say they’re allergic to thousands of molecules.

The other thing is many non scented products have a scent, but it’s more subtle. It masks the unpleasant scent of the functional ingredients which typically are not scent free.

l was very sensitive to certain scents while pregnant, one coworker had a cologne l could smell from over 100 ft away. I explained and he graciously stopped wearing it immediately.

My advice to OP is explain your allegery but in a more honest way so people don’t discount you as hysterical. And don’t sleep with a guy who still wears cologne after you ask him not to - totally not cool.

Do you also dislike it when people say they're allergic to peanuts or shellfish instead of certain molecules in peanuts and shellfish? What about people who say they’re allergic to cats instead of proteins in cat dander/saliva. How do you feel when people say they have hayfever instead of an allergy to the proteins in some pollens?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry about your allergy, but the way you even approached this post… Means it’s probably more than the fragrance allergy for him.

+1. Needing hydrocortisone does not necessitate going to the ER. Even if it’s prescription strength. I bet you exaggerate the extent of your ‘allergy’ and a lot of it is just in your head. But it sounds like you guys just aren’t a match. Move on.

NP. I wonder why some PPs here are so determined to insist that OP is exaggerating, it's "in her head" etc. I'd wager you think the same about anyone who tells you they have an allergy that isn't one YOU can understand because it doesn't cause them to, oh, drop dead in anaphylactic shock instantly, or break out in massive hives you can see. I pity anyone in your family who has reactions to anything at all; they likely don't bother to tell you since you'll dismiss and belittle them.

+1 Truth.

[Anonymous]

OP is a kind of person that comes in guns blazing with all the “facts” so she can’t be disputed, instead of talking about the real issue in the relationship like a normal human

[Anonymous]

You need someone different, like a fellow hypochondriac.