WWYD fragrance allergy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Break up. I’m puzzled how you can physically have sex with someone wearing an allergen, though.

I can't anymore.

I told him when we met I was allergic to fragrance. I asked him not to wear any cologne.

I am not allergic to anything else, not dogs, cats, penicillin, bee stings, peanuts, or shellfish.

I just have this sensitivity to some fragrances. Sunscreens for example must be fragrance free.

He's not respecting your needs, for something really dumb. It's a red flag.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand how this is a WWYD question. You've stopped going out with him already. That's what you do.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry for your condition. You should break up with him. You are going to have a hard time finding a partner. It will be very difficult for someone to deal with your condition. Be very upfront on the first date about your allergies in the future.

Be clear on the first date that you can only date him if he agrees to never wear a fragrance, and that every product should be scent free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how this is a WWYD question. You've stopped going out with him already. That's what you do.

And you should have refused to go out/have sex with him if he was wearing cologne or other scented products. Yeah, some people are inconsiderate. Don’t date them.

[Anonymous]

I would not date or sleep with someone who ignored my comments about things that made me uncomfortable or unsafe? What kind of question is this?

[Anonymous]

No brainer. If he doesn't believe you you dump him. Although even if he did believe you it might take a while to wash all of his clothes and scrub his house and car of frangrance, y'know?

[Anonymous]

Can the person wear normal deodorant or no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can the person wear normal deodorant or no?

Not op, but in my case, no.

Op, I’m also allergic to fragrances. It’s a pain!! So glad I can work from home.

I’m female and I generally find guys are willing to switch products. Most guys don’t care what laundry detergent they use or what shampoo etc. I imagine it’s harder to be an allergic guy dating a woman because women are choosier about their products.

I do tend to buy the products for them and just leave them in their bathroom (after discussing it with them). That way they know what to buy.

So I think you can find a guy who will be respectful about this. I would break up with someone who wouldn’t be respectful about this. Someone who isn’t is a di*k anyway.

That said, sometimes it can take a while for cologne and laundry detergent to get out of clothes. Are you still smelling it one him and assuming he’s still using the fragrances? Or has he derided you or not thrown out the scented detergent and cologne etc? Make sure it’s not just residual perfume from when he was using the scented stuff before he met you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can the person wear normal deodorant or no?

Not op, but in my case, no.

Op, I’m also allergic to fragrances. It’s a pain!! So glad I can work from home.

I’m female and I generally find guys are willing to switch products. Most guys don’t care what laundry detergent they use or what shampoo etc. I imagine it’s harder to be an allergic guy dating a woman because women are choosier about their products.

I do tend to buy the products for them and just leave them in their bathroom (after discussing it with them). That way they know what to buy.

So I think you can find a guy who will be respectful about this. I would break up with someone who wouldn’t be respectful about this. Someone who isn’t is a di*k anyway.

That said, sometimes it can take a while for cologne and laundry detergent to get out of clothes. Are you still smelling it one him and assuming he’s still using the fragrances? Or has he derided you or not thrown out the scented detergent and cologne etc? Make sure it’s not just residual perfume from when he was using the scented stuff before he met you.

Oh also. When I was online dating, I mentioned my allergies in my dating profile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can the person wear normal deodorant or no?

Not op, but in my case, no.

Op, I’m also allergic to fragrances. It’s a pain!! So glad I can work from home.

I’m female and I generally find guys are willing to switch products. Most guys don’t care what laundry detergent they use or what shampoo etc. I imagine it’s harder to be an allergic guy dating a woman because women are choosier about their products.

I do tend to buy the products for them and just leave them in their bathroom (after discussing it with them). That way they know what to buy.

So I think you can find a guy who will be respectful about this. I would break up with someone who wouldn’t be respectful about this. Someone who isn’t is a di*k anyway.

That said, sometimes it can take a while for cologne and laundry detergent to get out of clothes. Are you still smelling it one him and assuming he’s still using the fragrances? Or has he derided you or not thrown out the scented detergent and cologne etc? Make sure it’s not just residual perfume from when he was using the scented stuff before he met you.

Oh also. When I was online dating, I mentioned my allergies in my dating profile.

Ps. In fact I think ok Cupid and eharmony had questions about this! So it was easy to disclose.

[Anonymous]

I would not waste my time dating someone who could not be bothered to take simple steps to accommodate my allergies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because there is no such thing as a serious medical allergy to fragrance. It’s not a thing. But please break with him and enjoy the solitude. Or maybe your find a kid to your pot.

Are you an allergist? A medical professional who studies allergy?

If not, then STFU

There is definitely severe allergy to fragrance.

I have become seriously ill from exposure to air freshener -- headaches, dizziness, overall ill feeling -- twice.

I can't wear any sort of fragrance, can't use skin care products, no fragrances in my home, no scented cleaning products, or I become ill.

If you don't suffer from it, then STFU and mind your own business.

Oh dear. Twice in your life you smelled something that didn’t agree with you and now it’s a serious medical condition. You are unhinged.

[Anonymous]

I would not date someone who is allergic to fragrances. Life isn’t fun with so many restrictions. Not worth it.

[Anonymous]

Moving forward I think it's a good idea to *consider* that the clothes they're wearing might not have been freshly laundered.

If I did laundry 3 weeks before I met you and hung up / folded up clothes, and you told me not to *wear* any fragrance, I probably wouldn't connect the dots that my clothing items might still have a lingering scent of tide or gain or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry for your condition. You should break up with him. You are going to have a hard time finding a partner. It will be very difficult for someone to deal with your condition. Be very upfront on the first date about your allergies in the future.

Be clear on the first date that you can only date him if he agrees to never wear a fragrance, and that every product should be scent free.

It's not that hard. My stepfather has had emphysema for 20+ years and reacts very strongly to fragrances. It's life threatening. No one on his side of the family or mine find it difficult to accommodate him.

Any one so wedded to their perfume, cologne, scented candles, air fresheners, scented lotion, etc. that they can't accommodate this allergy isn't worth being around.