Every day at work is so humiliating

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op - am actually not that young!
The humiliation relates to the fact that I have accountability but not responsibility and my boss I think doesn’t particularly like or respect me but seems to want me to to achieve goals that are impossible due to the aforementioned. So I have to insert myself into things that I have no official business being involved in; and very little power to impact.
Every day is like if someone said to you ‘make sure the Red Sox beat the Yankees’ but you weren’t the coach so you just went to the game offering your opinion and people were like - who tf are you? Go away.

OP you just described how I felt when I was teaching in public elementary school. It was just demeaning. I felt so bad about myself every day, and sometimes humiliated was a good way to describe it. I quit, and eventually found a job where I was treated with much more respect. The difference was tremendous; I felt like a different person than I had in the public school. I took a large pay cut, though. Still, I'd do it again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No op, but I understand workplace humiliation. In my case I m pretty senior and 2 most ago on a rapid upward trajectory. Some things happened (internal politics), and now I'm sidelined with dead end work. It's ego, but it's hard

I remind myself I have a paycheck and just keep looking.

op - this is pretty much my story.
I'm increasingly constantly sidelined and each meeting (of which there are many) brings reminders of the fact that I'm I guess.. unnecessary?

Try to emotionally disconnect and just focus on finding something else. Reach out to head hunters, network, even any alumni associations. Take back your emotional power, what happens there is not really about you, and letting it impact your health is not helpful. Just take the paycheck and mentally move on. There will be another target when you are gone. The more you can be indifferent, the better energy you will have when looking and interviewing.

Later, from your new position, order this, may provide insights that help healing.

Stalking the Soul by Marie-France Hirigoyen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you lateral to another job within the same company so you can have a different supervisor?

maybe although I worry i will just sideline myself further.

It's worth a try if only to have a slightly different situation. You can continue to look outside. Think of it as a plan with a back up. It will help you have a sense of agency and momentum, perhaps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anecdote: this was back in 1994 at my first job.

My manager assembled about 10 of us in the conference room, then stood up on the table in front of us and showed us all his articles of clothing (not underwear of course) and explained to us why his clothing choices were superior to ours.

He then went around the room while still standing on the table and pointed at us all in turn while explaining exactly why we were all poorly dressed.

I got off pretty easily with the only critique being an unstarched shirt. But one guy...he got mocked for wearing "what looks like a thrift store suit". And, "Where did you get that tie? From a street vendor selling souvenirs and hot dogs outside the air and space museum?"

He then jumped off the table and yelled at us to go back to work.

Now THAT was humiliating.

That dude was a D bag and I wouldn't have been humiliated at all. I'd have laughed at him.

I was 22 and intervewing for my first job out of college. Lanham ,MD. Copy Editing. The guy doing the interview was maybe 4 tears older than me and proceeded to ask me what my GPA (at VT) was. I said 'I think I finished with a 3.6'

He says, with a straight face ". Ha. You told me you could handle any challenge we throw at you but you couldn't even get a 40!? What is your problem?"

This was an entry level position in a strip mall magazine publisher that went belly up 25 years ago. Pay was $23,500.

I just looked at him, laughed, and said "Well, buddy, some of us were drinking beers and f**king girls too."

Then I got up and walked out.

Every few years it kills me I can't remember his name. I now own a landscaping company that does 6/7 million a year.

You can see his face in your head though right? I need to know that you'll recognize him when you run into him again.

Hell yes. Skinny, twitchy, nerdy white guy with a big nose. He'd be about 55 now. Almost certainly unmarried and no kids. Lives in an apartment and might still be driving the same car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anecdote: this was back in 1994 at my first job.

My manager assembled about 10 of us in the conference room, then stood up on the table in front of us and showed us all his articles of clothing (not underwear of course) and explained to us why his clothing choices were superior to ours.

He then went around the room while still standing on the table and pointed at us all in turn while explaining exactly why we were all poorly dressed.

I got off pretty easily with the only critique being an unstarched shirt. But one guy...he got mocked for wearing "what looks like a thrift store suit". And, "Where did you get that tie? From a street vendor selling souvenirs and hot dogs outside the air and space museum?"

He then jumped off the table and yelled at us to go back to work.

Now THAT was humiliating.

That dude was a D bag and I wouldn't have been humiliated at all. I'd have laughed at him.

I was 22 and intervewing for my first job out of college. Lanham ,MD. Copy Editing. The guy doing the interview was maybe 4 tears older than me and proceeded to ask me what my GPA (at VT) was. I said 'I think I finished with a 3.6'

He says, with a straight face ". Ha. You told me you could handle any challenge we throw at you but you couldn't even get a 40!? What is your problem?"

This was an entry level position in a strip mall magazine publisher that went belly up 25 years ago. Pay was $23,500.

I just looked at him, laughed, and said "Well, buddy, some of us were drinking beers and f**king girls too."

Then I got up and walked out.

Every few years it kills me I can't remember his name. I now own a landscaping company that does 6/7 million a year.

You can see his face in your head though right? I need to know that you'll recognize him when you run into him again.

Hell yes. Skinny, twitchy, nerdy white guy with a big nose. He'd be about 55 now. Almost certainly unmarried and no kids. Lives in an apartment and might still be driving the same car.

amazing.