Growing up with few cousins

[Anonymous]

My family was into the fake cousins thing. I had lots of cousins and saw them often and countless photos were taken. They bragged about the close relationships of "the cousins" and insisted we smile real big for every photo. Then they did the whole dysfunctional dance. They bad mouthed the ones who might be a bad influence and scared us away and they put others on pedestals to create competition. There was endless gossip. The worst was when you were taught to hate a cousin and suddenly mom changed her mind and expected you to go back to being BFFs.

I don't keep in touch with any of my cousins anymore and I don't miss it. They are continuing the cycles in their own families and there are lots of estrangements among them.

I throw up in my mouth a little when anyone posts photos and says "the cousins!" I think it's beautiful when cousins ORGANICALLY become friends without pushing and manipulation. Not a fan of keeping up appearances.

[Anonymous]

I think this is a pretty common experience among lapsed Catholics like me! A large extended family comes with pluses and minuses. I’m glad my kid’s weekends are not all taken up by christenings and confirmations etc. like mine were.

[Anonymous]

This is very common now.

[Anonymous]

I'm the same. My three first-cousins are all about 20-25 years older. I'm closer in age to their children. But I do have two siblings.

We've never really been close to our cousins (because my mom and her brother aren't that close), but we dutifully see each other every few years.

I've never really been sad about it. I think I'd be sad if I didn't have siblings.

[Anonymous]

I grew up very close to my two cousins then when I was about nine, there was a feud between our parents and I didn’t see them or hear from them until recently. My parents were furious at me when they found out I was back in touch with them after 30 years.

My own children are teens and their cousins are toddlers who live across the country. They have met a few times but are not close due to the distance and age difference.

[Anonymous]

I grew up with no first cousins and my kids have 3 (never see them); grandkids have just 2 (seldom see them).

Families are more mobile than in the past and on top of a dropping birth rate, smaller extended family is probably more common. We create a family with good friends.