Contractor becoming irate with me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’ve paid him for the work completed why have him come back? Hire someone else for the next part.

He was given money to purchase materials (tile, tub, vanity etc) which he will not deliver to me unless he is allowed to do the job. He’s basically holding them hostage until he comes over. He was supposed to bring the materials weeks ago and kept stalling with a different job then he said he got sick then I had family issues.

Wait you did this with no contract? How much are the materials worth? You sound crazy to have agreed to this honestly, both of you. Consider starting over and considering it a lesson learned about cheaping out on things like paperwork which are for preventing situations exactly like this by agreeing on ground rules in advance.

This is a small bath remodel. In my experience jobs if a job doesn’t reach 5 figures I am rarely presented with a contract. Material are worth $2k.

You should always get a contract. Buy the materials yourself if no contract.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP if you were happy with the work, just verbally acknowledge that it sounds like both of you have had a rough go of it and pick a time to finish and COMMIT.

I'd have to know exactly what he said but for me, cursing is NBD especially for a contractor and there is a huge difference between 'f**ck you' and 'this f**cking work'.

I was the one who said cursing was inappropriate, but I didn't mean because it would offend me. I meant because in the context of this story (she said he was irate with her and it was frightening her), I think it signals he's angry and a bit out of control and potentially volatile. What if OP makes him angrier somehow?

I had a worker I had a bad feeling about once and he ended up grabbing me in a scary way. I wish I had just told the general contractor no the first day that guy was there. It was a different feeling from just not liking him. He was creepy. Different scenario, but I hear OP is uncomfortable and that's important for her to listen to.

[Anonymous]

If you feel uncomfortable about him being in your house then don’t have him in your house. Pay him what he’s owed and say you’re going to have to hold off on the other projects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if you were happy with the work, just verbally acknowledge that it sounds like both of you have had a rough go of it and pick a time to finish and COMMIT.

I'd have to know exactly what he said but for me, cursing is NBD especially for a contractor and there is a huge difference between 'f**ck you' and 'this f**cking work'.

I was the one who said cursing was inappropriate, but I didn't mean because it would offend me. I meant because in the context of this story (she said he was irate with her and it was frightening her), I think it signals he's angry and a bit out of control and potentially volatile. What if OP makes him angrier somehow?

I had a worker I had a bad feeling about once and he ended up grabbing me in a scary way. I wish I had just told the general contractor no the first day that guy was there. It was a different feeling from just not liking him. He was creepy. Different scenario, but I hear OP is uncomfortable and that's important for her to listen to.

When a pp asked how OP made the leap from irritated to violent, OP only referenced cursing- which to me would not be a big deal/would not generally make ME feel threatened unless it was used as a noun, not an adjective.

I have had an uneasy feeling with an unreliable contractor or two who suddenly was sweating me to do work because they were having financial issues/life pressures and wanted the work- but I said no in those situations. In other situations, contractors with whom I had done previous work/I was comfortable with cold-called asking if we needed work and I happily agreed/it was good timing for me as well.

Totally agree with trusting your gut if you do not want someone in your home or sometimes even if the timing is just always bad. The universe may be telling you something.

[Anonymous]

Some rude people are good at work.
If he did a good work for 2/3 I will let him finish the job.

[Anonymous]

You received what you considered to be good work and you paid up, and now the scheduling has got them irritated. Give them some time to cool down and realize that your money is green, and hopefully move forward.

[Anonymous]

Not defending the way your contractor behaved but my spouse is a contractor and allows a certain time for a project. So say a month for a kitchen remodel. Then they line up the next job based on that….. so if the homeowner dicks around, doesn’t choose paint color when they’re supposed to, hasn’t called granite place to measure when they’re supposed to etc… it messes up everything.
I feel like this is what happened with your guy.

[Anonymous]

As a woman, I totally understand how vulnerable we feel having to deal with random men who access our homes. Especially because they know where you live, that you live alone, etc.

Perhaps when they are scheduled to finish the job, you could have a guy friend or neighbor there. Be vague about your relationship.

I hate to think this is necessary, but I do believe it could keep a certain type of man in check if he thought you had a strong partner. 😟

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Share their name so others are on notice.

She is certainly not going to do that right now! She is already afraid of him.

But I definitely would not use someone so unprofessional in the future .

[Anonymous]

OP here. I got a text this morning saying he needs money by end of day because his other jobs fell through and could he start now. I am not even home and who is going to want someone to work in their home the day after 4th of July? It’s his financial desperation that’s really frightening me.

[Anonymous]

Based on what you said, I would let him finish the job.

The way you have delayed the project, while understandable, could be frustrating to a contractor.

Many contractors have tight financial margins.

That being said you may be picking up something that is not coming through in your posts. Trust your gut if you do feel unsafe.

I’m sorry for your losses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I got a text this morning saying he needs money by end of day because his other jobs fell through and could he start now. I am not even home and who is going to want someone to work in their home the day after 4th of July? It’s his financial desperation that’s really frightening me.

There is no reason not to. What’s so special about the 5th of July? That’s your hesitation to start work?

[Anonymous]

Do not pay in advance

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I got a text this morning saying he needs money by end of day because his other jobs fell through and could he start now. I am not even home and who is going to want someone to work in their home the day after 4th of July? It’s his financial desperation that’s really frightening me.

In my neighborhood 3 contractors and crews were working on July 4 and July 5. Time is money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I got a text this morning saying he needs money by end of day because his other jobs fell through and could he start now. I am not even home and who is going to want someone to work in their home the day after 4th of July? It’s his financial desperation that’s really frightening me.

There is no reason not to. What’s so special about the 5th of July? That’s your hesitation to start work?

I don't get this, either. You gave him money without a contract, and now you'd have to lose at least some of it to get it back if you sued.

He wants to work. Don't be precious about it -- July 5 isn't the Queen's Jubilee. Have the brass tacks talk with him about what's left to do and the timeframe to do it.