Please share your stories where a dream house made someone act horribly or ruined a relationship

[Anonymous]

No specific stories but 3 years ago we bought a larger house in the same neighborhood instead of renovating the house we lived in.

We had several couple friends divorce in the 2 years before we moved. Not everyone we know who built a house or did a major renovation got divorced, but everyone who divorced had done a renovation or bought a new-build at the top of their budget in the 24 months before the divorce.

[Anonymous]

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck.

[Anonymous]

I don't know any real life examples, but for those who are readers, this theme is explored in a really unusual way in the novel The House Next Door by Anne Rivers Siddons. It's about a woman in a wealthy neighborhood who watches a grand new house that was just built next door, and the way the lives of each new occupant are ruined in hideous ways. Not gory, but unsettling and a really good read. Many of the characters, including the narrator, are the kind of people who would post on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:War of the Roses

Game of Thrones. Getting the Red Keep didn't work out so well for the Baratheon-Lannisters in the long run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No specific stories but 3 years ago we bought a larger house in the same neighborhood instead of renovating the house we lived in.

We had several couple friends divorce in the 2 years before we moved. Not everyone we know who built a house or did a major renovation got divorced, but everyone who divorced had done a renovation or bought a new-build at the top of their budget in the 24 months before the divorce.

Yep. I posted earlier. I don't think the house is the REASON for the divorce. I think the one or both partners was unhappy, thought maybe a fancy house would make them happy, it didn't, they divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A successful women friend built a gorgeous beach house in Delaware and some people got very jealous. They won’t visit her beautiful home because it makes them feel less than. These are mature women.

We are buying a nice home, and my sister (who lives in a nice home, smaller scale) told me it makes her feel terrible about her life. Not jealousy, just bad I guess? I was expecting her to be happy for us, but a lot of people can't process people gaining well anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A successful women friend built a gorgeous beach house in Delaware and some people got very jealous. They won’t visit her beautiful home because it makes them feel less than. These are mature women.

Usually the story goes more like this - a successful woman friend built a gorgeous beach house in the Hamptons and some people got very jealous, but their jealousy was overridden by their desire to be invited to said gorgeous beach house. They ingratiate themselves to the successful woman friend in order to be invited over. At least this is how it goes in NY.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A successful women friend built a gorgeous beach house in Delaware and some people got very jealous. They won’t visit her beautiful home because it makes them feel less than. These are mature women.

We are buying a nice home, and my sister (who lives in a nice home, smaller scale) told me it makes her feel terrible about her life. Not jealousy, just bad I guess? I was expecting her to be happy for us, but a lot of people can't process people gaining well anything.

I think this is especially true when the home is purchased mostly with funds from one spouse. The other spouse just got lucky and is along for the ride.

My husband's sister and her husband both work very demanding jobs and make good money. They live a very lavish life with their kids. But it doesn't make me feel bad because neither my husband nor I want to work that many hours or be that stressed. We are content with where we are. It's harder to take when it feels "unearned" or like they got it for "free."

[Anonymous]

when we went to build our dream house, we asked each of the architects we interviewed what their divorce rate is.

anyway, we made it through 10 years since getting a contract on the property and then purchasing, zoning, architecting, building, and finally living in our dream house. still married!

but i think the process can really highlight disconnects around money and taste and just decision-making styles, and if people aren't in sync, or particularly good about communicating, or can't differentiate/articulate between wants and needs, things can go very badly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:when we went to build our dream house, we asked each of the architects we interviewed what their divorce rate is.

anyway, we made it through 10 years since getting a contract on the property and then purchasing, zoning, architecting, building, and finally living in our dream house. still married!

but i think the process can really highlight disconnects around money and taste and just decision-making styles, and if people aren't in sync, or particularly good about communicating, or can't differentiate/articulate between wants and needs, things can go very badly.

The architects I know are divorced themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Catty, social climbing, hyper competitive Mom & pushover, nice enough Dad bought their first house and selected the most over-improved, flashiest house in the neighborhood. Couple attempted to renegotiate at settlement and threatened to walk away when their last minute counteroffer wasn’t accepted.

Moved in and immediately began throwing parties to show off their house. Only time there were no parties was when they took off on splashy vacations to big name places (Vail, Jackson Hole, Paris) and sometimes invited their friends. Joined the country club.

Then, abruptly the dream house went on the market. Couple oddly made a local move to a rental claiming they needed to downsize.

Husband went to federal prison for embezzlement.

He is not nice at all. Funny how you tried to make it about the wife until the last sentence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Catty, social climbing, hyper competitive Mom & pushover, nice enough Dad bought their first house and selected the most over-improved, flashiest house in the neighborhood. Couple attempted to renegotiate at settlement and threatened to walk away when their last minute counteroffer wasn’t accepted.

Moved in and immediately began throwing parties to show off their house. Only time there were no parties was when they took off on splashy vacations to big name places (Vail, Jackson Hole, Paris) and sometimes invited their friends. Joined the country club.

Then, abruptly the dream house went on the market. Couple oddly made a local move to a rental claiming they needed to downsize.

Husband went to federal prison for embezzlement.

He is not nice at all. Funny how you tried to make it about the wife until the last sentence.

That was part of the story. She was loud and brash, he was never around, quieter and soft spoken. He was always “working.”

[Anonymous]

I’m actually nervous about this. I recently finished up residency and am finally making more money. But we are an established in our neighborhood with 3 kids in a tiny home. The neighborhood has a great school system and also very mixed incomes (in the middle class to UMC range-think some old dated townhomes vs 3M homes). We live in kind of the “poorer” part of the neighborhood , which I’m fine with except that we are quickly outgrowing our house with the ages/genders or our children. We have to move to a bigger home in the neighborhood and I know my friends will think that we think we are better than them.

[Anonymous]

The Money Pit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Money Pit

The original was the best! We watch it every time we move and laugh about saving that little piece of slate for the floor.