Summer swim team too exhausting

[Anonymous]

Summer swim (and swimming in general) definitely isn't for everyone. You kind of have to drink the Kool Aid, and have the bandwidth for all the volunteering, in order to enjoy it. We love it but completely understand why others don't. But I really wish we didn't have the A meet/B meet thing here. Where I grew up, all of the meets were scored. IM was a regular event for age 11-12 and up, and each age group had a free relay. I'm pretty sure each kid could swim 2 individual events + 1 relay. Each team could enter 3 relays per age group, so everyone got in the lineup somehow even if it was just on a C free relay. It allowed everyone to feel like they were potentially contributing to scoring points for the team. There was so much more cheering and spirit because every team member felt valued. Wednesday night meets were electric... sometimes literally with lightning! If a storm ended the meet early and the score was close, we would go back and finish the meet the next night. Summer swim here feels way less inclusive. The DC area has a knack for making things less fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Summer swim (and swimming in general) definitely isn't for everyone. You kind of have to drink the Kool Aid, and have the bandwidth for all the volunteering, in order to enjoy it. We love it but completely understand why others don't. But I really wish we didn't have the A meet/B meet thing here. Where I grew up, all of the meets were scored. IM was a regular event for age 11-12 and up, and each age group had a free relay. I'm pretty sure each kid could swim 2 individual events + 1 relay. Each team could enter 3 relays per age group, so everyone got in the lineup somehow even if it was just on a C free relay. It allowed everyone to feel like they were potentially contributing to scoring points for the team. There was so much more cheering and spirit because every team member felt valued. Wednesday night meets were electric... sometimes literally with lightning! If a storm ended the meet early and the score was close, we would go back and finish the meet the next night. Summer swim here feels way less inclusive. The DC area has a knack for making things less fun.

I think my kid prefers swimming fly and free in a B meet to swimming one leg of a C relay in an A meet. Is being that kid and watching other kids have two swims plus a relay really better than just going to a B meet where they're an equal part of the team

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Summer swim (and swimming in general) definitely isn't for everyone. You kind of have to drink the Kool Aid, and have the bandwidth for all the volunteering, in order to enjoy it. We love it but completely understand why others don't. But I really wish we didn't have the A meet/B meet thing here. Where I grew up, all of the meets were scored. IM was a regular event for age 11-12 and up, and each age group had a free relay. I'm pretty sure each kid could swim 2 individual events + 1 relay. Each team could enter 3 relays per age group, so everyone got in the lineup somehow even if it was just on a C free relay. It allowed everyone to feel like they were potentially contributing to scoring points for the team. There was so much more cheering and spirit because every team member felt valued. Wednesday night meets were electric... sometimes literally with lightning! If a storm ended the meet early and the score was close, we would go back and finish the meet the next night. Summer swim here feels way less inclusive. The DC area has a knack for making things less fun.

I think my kid prefers swimming fly and free in a B meet to swimming one leg of a C relay in an A meet. Is being that kid and watching other kids have two swims plus a relay really better than just going to a B meet where they're an equal part of the team

Younger kids didn't really pay much attention to who was swimming in more events unless their parents were talking to them about it. They were too busy playing and eating junk food from concessions. It's more obvious to young kids when they just aren't invited to certain meets. Older kids who only swam in the summer/weren't super committed to swimming had a blast being part of relays. Those are the most fun part of summer swim anyway.

Dual meets were all about the team. Individual glory was for divisionals/all stars and winter swim. If you have a good team culture and parents who don't get too caught up in their own kids' individual success, the swimmers are happy to contribute however they are needed.

[Anonymous]

I think people whose kids play other sports have a hard time with swimming because it's a cut and dry sport. There's no question about which kid is better...there's a clock. Baseball, soccer, lacrosse, etc. aren't like this. In swimming it's your kid against the clock, that's it. Super competitive parents don't like this environment because they can't pretend their kid is the best anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people whose kids play other sports have a hard time with swimming because it's a cut and dry sport. There's no question about which kid is better...there's a clock. Baseball, soccer, lacrosse, etc. aren't like this. In swimming it's your kid against the clock, that's it. Super competitive parents don't like this environment because they can't pretend their kid is the best anymore.

I wish this was true, but we still have parents at our club insistent that their kid needs to move up when other kids the same age move up despite their kid being far slower than the ones advancing. I never understand what those parents are thinking when they do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people whose kids play other sports have a hard time with swimming because it's a cut and dry sport. There's no question about which kid is better...there's a clock. Baseball, soccer, lacrosse, etc. aren't like this. In swimming it's your kid against the clock, that's it. Super competitive parents don't like this environment because they can't pretend their kid is the best anymore.

I wish this was true, but we still have parents at our club insistent that their kid needs to move up when other kids the same age move up despite their kid being far slower than the ones advancing. I never understand what those parents are thinking when they do that.

What do you mean by move up? Into a different practice group or lane? Or move up the ladder? If practices are held by age, there shouldn't be any moving up for parents to argue about. If parents are bothering coaches about their kids moving into a different lane, the president or whoever should send a message making it clear that decisions about how practices are run are strictly determined by the coaches. If you give parents an inch of room, some will take it way too far in terms of giving input on things they know nothing about. The president and/or board should really act as a buffer, as it can be hard for coaches who are teens/college age kids to push back on adults who are older than them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people whose kids play other sports have a hard time with swimming because it's a cut and dry sport. There's no question about which kid is better...there's a clock. Baseball, soccer, lacrosse, etc. aren't like this. In swimming it's your kid against the clock, that's it. Super competitive parents don't like this environment because they can't pretend their kid is the best anymore.

I wish this was true, but we still have parents at our club insistent that their kid needs to move up when other kids the same age move up despite their kid being far slower than the ones advancing. I never understand what those parents are thinking when they do that.

What do you mean by move up? Into a different practice group or lane? Or move up the ladder? If practices are held by age, there shouldn't be any moving up for parents to argue about. If parents are bothering coaches about their kids moving into a different lane, the president or whoever should send a message making it clear that decisions about how practices are run are strictly determined by the coaches. If you give parents an inch of room, some will take it way too far in terms of giving input on things they know nothing about. The president and/or board should really act as a buffer, as it can be hard for coaches who are teens/college age kids to push back on adults who are older than them.

It seems the PP was talking about year-round club practice groups, not summer swim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people whose kids play other sports have a hard time with swimming because it's a cut and dry sport. There's no question about which kid is better...there's a clock. Baseball, soccer, lacrosse, etc. aren't like this. In swimming it's your kid against the clock, that's it. Super competitive parents don't like this environment because they can't pretend their kid is the best anymore.

I wish this was true, but we still have parents at our club insistent that their kid needs to move up when other kids the same age move up despite their kid being far slower than the ones advancing. I never understand what those parents are thinking when they do that.

DP - it's true overall, though, that sports like swimming, running, etc., are objective about who the best/fastest is as compared to "traditional" team sports. IME as a participant in those various sports, it made for a stronger, more supportive team environment. We all knew who was faster and even if that could change on a given day, there wasn't the BS politics of who got picked for what.

[Anonymous]

Wow! All this does not sound fun at all for summer swim!

[Anonymous]

Not joining can feel normal

[Anonymous]

So try something else. My kid switched to the dive team and loves it.

Swimming is a super boring sport for a lot of kids. No way around it. This is why a lot of kids like summer swim (social) but don't want to deal with winter swim. The meets are genuinely painful. They swim for literally a couple of minutes outside of warmup and sit around for hours. Practice is just repetition and when they get good, it's just tweaking tiny details and putting in the time. Not saying they aren't good athletes. They are. But it's just a really different sport and not for everyone.

[Anonymous]

At this point we haven’t found it to be exhausting at all. A lot of the kids show up before and/or stay after to play. Practice is 30 minutes long so before you know it it’s done.

[Anonymous]

Too many parents force their kid to stay in a sport when they don't want to do it, or sign them up without asking, or bribe them in some way to participate. If he dislikes it, don't force it, but he should honor his commitment and finish the season he signed up for. That is always our rule. And if you're going to be there anyway, make the most out of it. Talk to other parents and get to know some of them. Keep an open mind about volunteering. You might have fun and he might enjoy the meets.

[Anonymous]

This whole thread is assuming there are objectively correct answers for questions of opinion. Activities hit differently for different kids. I don’t think any sport is universally boring or universally awesome. Nor are all the teams and leagues the same in terms of goals and experience.

OP, it sounds that you have learned something about your kid, which is great. perhaps they don’t like sports judged by only times. Or they need extra attention transitioning to a sport to feel comfortable. Or maybe they don’t like individual sports (not saying any of these but possible lessons).

Anyway, just a reminder not to take this board too seriously. It is great for specific questions, imo, but wouldn’t put too much stock in blanket opinions of strangers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Summer swim (and swimming in general) definitely isn't for everyone. You kind of have to drink the Kool Aid, and have the bandwidth for all the volunteering, in order to enjoy it. We love it but completely understand why others don't. But I really wish we didn't have the A meet/B meet thing here. Where I grew up, all of the meets were scored. IM was a regular event for age 11-12 and up, and each age group had a free relay. I'm pretty sure each kid could swim 2 individual events + 1 relay. Each team could enter 3 relays per age group, so everyone got in the lineup somehow even if it was just on a C free relay. It allowed everyone to feel like they were potentially contributing to scoring points for the team. There was so much more cheering and spirit because every team member felt valued. Wednesday night meets were electric... sometimes literally with lightning! If a storm ended the meet early and the score was close, we would go back and finish the meet the next night. Summer swim here feels way less inclusive. The DC area has a knack for making things less fun.

I think my kid prefers swimming fly and free in a B meet to swimming one leg of a C relay in an A meet. Is being that kid and watching other kids have two swims plus a relay really better than just going to a B meet where they're an equal part of the team

Younger kids didn't really pay much attention to who was swimming in more events unless their parents were talking to them about it. They were too busy playing and eating junk food from concessions. It's more obvious to young kids when they just aren't invited to certain meets. Older kids who only swam in the summer/weren't super committed to swimming had a blast being part of relays. Those are the most fun part of summer swim anyway.

Dual meets were all about the team. Individual glory was for divisionals/all stars and winter swim. If you have a good team culture and parents who don't get too caught up in their own kids' individual success, the swimmers are happy to contribute however they are needed.

A suggestion for team culture: A meet swimmers almost always cheer at B meets to help hype up the little kids at our pool. We have extra treats and prizes for time drops and legal swims at B meets (the prize for A meets is making the meet). And kids go back and forth between A and B all season. All of this has helped our team culture a ton.

Finally, we have solid examples of swim parent behavior from the parents of the fastest HS and MS swimmers who wouldn’t be caught dead saying their kid was the best (even if the kid wins all-stars). They are always the ones cleaning up and doing odd jobs around the pool without asking. It doesn’t always work, we have some crazy parents - when are there not in any activity, lol - but most of time is helps.