Wait Until 8th

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My two daughters got phones in 6th (MS) for us but without social media and with downtime/app limits. It’s honestly not been an issue at all and they are in later HS now. Still straight As/honors/AP, they go to sleep at their bedtimes, do lots of non-screen things with the family and with their friends.

They use their phones for texting and music mostly. Sometimes to watch streaming if they don’t have access to a TV.

I think most of the issues arise from not creating proper limits/scaffolding and poor modeling from the parents.

Please get off of your high horse. I have a daughter that’s like yours, and a son for whom it’s a huge problem. Plenty of limits and scaffolding. Same parents, different outcomes. Not all kids are the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
https://www.waituntil8th.org/

This organization is profiled in the NY Times today:

In schools and communities across the country, parents are signing documents pledging not to give their children smartphones until after middle school. The idea, organizers say, is that if parents take action together, their children are less likely to feel isolated because they aren’t the only ones without TikTok in their pockets.

Considering the prevalence of smartphone use among young people, it’s a bold step: Research from Common Sense, a nonprofit organization that provides technology reviews for families, shows that half of children in the United States own cellphones by age 11 — roughly fifth or sixth grade.

This still doesn't help us at the high school level, but at least your kids might come in somewhat better prepared if they haven't had cell phones until 8th (not to mention the effects on mental health). And if you're in the "my kid is fine because they have a 4.0" crowd, consider the possibility that their 4.0 is due to lower standards and much easier grading (ask me how I know).

I would love to do this. Our family has had this conversation and both parents on same page. however, we had to buy a phone for my 7th grader since pickup for EC activities/ school events in the even ending / returning from school trips( late PM) needed a mode of communication. Luckily my DD rarely uses her phone except to play nerdy games. She is on several text chains with friend groups but never contributes to the messages- maybe an occasional- yes or no to an invite.

However, my elementary age DC has been made fun of and excluded from group chats ( she has iCloud) since 4th grade ( at a Public School) for not having a phone or Apple Watch. This alpha generation is brutal ( even compared to the Z)- they were brought up on electronic devices and are ruthless, imo. My DC is feeling excluded but we have told her no smartphone until 8th grade. She is okay with that but I can see the peer pressure affecting her.

[Anonymous]

We held out until summer after 8th grade. One of the best parenting decisions we made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My two daughters got phones in 6th (MS) for us but without social media and with downtime/app limits. It’s honestly not been an issue at all and they are in later HS now. Still straight As/honors/AP, they go to sleep at their bedtimes, do lots of non-screen things with the family and with their friends.

They use their phones for texting and music mostly. Sometimes to watch streaming if they don’t have access to a TV.

I think most of the issues arise from not creating proper limits/scaffolding and poor modeling from the parents.

Please get off of your high horse. I have a daughter that’s like yours, and a son for whom it’s a huge problem. Plenty of limits and scaffolding. Same parents, different outcomes. Not all kids are the same.

The actual “high horse” here is thinking that if you “wait until 8th” you are a superior parent. This whole thread is about “superior parents.” It’s not some panacea for screentime issues. I bet your son would still have them if you waited until 8th.

[Anonymous]

Enough already with the phones in schools! Sign our new petition to support a full-on culture shift in DMV schools. It's gotta happen to get our kids back on track: https://www.change.org/p/phone-free-dmv-schoo...cation=psf_petitions

[Anonymous]

If teachers could stop using youtube to teach that might help.

[Anonymous]

A kid’s prefrontal cortex is not ready to handle unfiltered, free access to the internet or the intentionally addictive nature of social media. There is so much data out there about this it shocks me when I see parents still tossing their kids iPhones. There are watches kids can use, without access to the internet, apps or social media to contact their parents.

Be strong for the sake of your kid’s mental health. They need you to be their parent more than they need you to be a friend.

[Anonymous]

If you are at a MS where enough parents have signed this pledge for it to go into effect, can you share the name of your school?

Also curious to know of schools where significant numbers of the current 5th grade parent cohort have signed on. This info gets posted on their FB and IG feeds but it's not easy to search for. I'm curious how much traction this movement is getting in DC area(parents at our school in MCPS circulated but not many of us signed) and it might also help me target my search for a MS for my 5th grade DS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is in (MOCO) 2nd grade and several of her classmates have phones, many with unrestricted access. They have youtube/tik tok accounts too. My DD used to run and play chase with kids at the bus stop but many are too busy on their phones. In her friend group, one girl usea her phone to make other kids in the group jealous. Anytime she had a playdate she would text the others saying how much fun she was having. My DD is the only one without a phone and won't be getting one until much later. Another girl got in trouble because her mom found her up at midnight on her phone.

The principal put out a message that kids should not bring phones to school as it must be an issue there as well.

I briefly worked in a 2nd grade classroom. I remember one girl boasting that she snuck out of her room last night, stole her sister's iPad, and played Roblox on it until 5 am. The kid was 8 years old.

She was way too old for the grade too. Bad all around. An 8 year old second grader tells a whole bad story apart from tech addiction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is in (MOCO) 2nd grade and several of her classmates have phones, many with unrestricted access. They have youtube/tik tok accounts too. My DD used to run and play chase with kids at the bus stop but many are too busy on their phones. In her friend group, one girl usea her phone to make other kids in the group jealous. Anytime she had a playdate she would text the others saying how much fun she was having. My DD is the only one without a phone and won't be getting one until much later. Another girl got in trouble because her mom found her up at midnight on her phone.

The principal put out a message that kids should not bring phones to school as it must be an issue there as well.

I briefly worked in a 2nd grade classroom. I remember one girl boasting that she snuck out of her room last night, stole her sister's iPad, and played Roblox on it until 5 am. The kid was 8 years old.

She was way too old for the grade too. Bad all around. An 8 year old second grader tells a whole bad story apart from tech addiction.

What? My daughter has a November birthday. She turned 8 in second and about to turn 9 in third. Thats normal…

[Anonymous]

FWIW, not having smart devices is becoming increasingly popular with some gen alpha kids. Younger gen Z peers have opened that door, and it’s considered socially acceptable either way.