Wait Until 8th

[Anonymous]

We did this and it worked out well. Once they hit ninth some of the classes require a phone so eighth seems like a good point to offer a smartphone. We used a Gizmo before for basic communication. DS has been slow with social media, just a few Discord groups for teams and interests. He had classmates though that had TikTok in fifth grade so there really is a range.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are two teachers, one in ES and one in MS. MS spouse says that cell phones weren’t much of a problem for most of the SY. The admin is pretty quick to confiscate the phones and as soon as that started to happen the students decided they’d keep them put away rather than lose them.

Yes in good schools it's better but their brains are still melting hours every day.

As are everyone's...but I think not as much as with young people who generally don't know how to put their phones down to take a screen break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are two teachers, one in ES and one in MS. MS spouse says that cell phones weren’t much of a problem for most of the SY. The admin is pretty quick to confiscate the phones and as soon as that started to happen the students decided they’d keep them put away rather than lose them.

Unfortunately a lot of schools don't do this - I'm looking at you, FCPS and your bullshit restorative justice crap. I'm about as liberal as you can get, but I still believe in consequences.

Could have written this exactly response about MCPS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
https://www.waituntil8th.org/

This organization is profiled in the NY Times today:

In schools and communities across the country, parents are signing documents pledging not to give their children smartphones until after middle school. The idea, organizers say, is that if parents take action together, their children are less likely to feel isolated because they aren’t the only ones without TikTok in their pockets.

Considering the prevalence of smartphone use among young people, it’s a bold step: Research from Common Sense, a nonprofit organization that provides technology reviews for families, shows that half of children in the United States own cellphones by age 11 — roughly fifth or sixth grade.

This still doesn't help us at the high school level, but at least your kids might come in somewhat better prepared if they haven't had cell phones until 8th (not to mention the effects on mental health). And if you're in the "my kid is fine because they have a 4.0" crowd, consider the possibility that their 4.0 is due to lower standards and much easier grading (ask me how I know).

100% with you. Waiting until 9th and maybe later. Have 7th grader and she’s getting less annoyed as she sees her peers in comatose with necks cranked down on phones and not communicating verbally with anyone at lunch or breaks. She has strong social life and although people say hey your kid is missing out on things, they really aren’t.

Same. I have a phoneless 7th grader who now realizes that some classmates have become TikTok zombies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As the parent of a rising 6th grader, I think there's a real need for appropriate in between technology. My almost 11 yo would love a device to listen to music on while walking the dog. She also does need a way to text parents, babysitter and grandparents to arrange drop offs and pick ups, as well as for forgotten items. But I don't want her on social media, on unsupervised internet, or in massive text chains with other kids. I can see why parents cave by 6th or 7th grade--there aren't a lot of appropriate device options.

Lots of parents have done an Apple watch for this age group, but I don't love the big text chains and how distracted kids get with games on their watch. It also doesn't have the music function I want and we're not an Apple family so Id have to switch myself to an iPhone, which I don't want to do. Other kid-watches like the Gizmo seem too young for an 11 or 12 yo. We have a different version and it's okay for calling, but super glitchy with short battery life.

If someone came up with a great tween option, it would sell fabulously.

There are faux smart phones that basically have every app but internet and email. Isn't that what you are talking about? Wait Until 8th literally keeps a list of these.

I'm not sure how many of them limit the massive text chains, though. That you have to do yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As the parent of a rising 6th grader, I think there's a real need for appropriate in between technology. My almost 11 yo would love a device to listen to music on while walking the dog. She also does need a way to text parents, babysitter and grandparents to arrange drop offs and pick ups, as well as for forgotten items. But I don't want her on social media, on unsupervised internet, or in massive text chains with other kids. I can see why parents cave by 6th or 7th grade--there aren't a lot of appropriate device options.

Lots of parents have done an Apple watch for this age group, but I don't love the big text chains and how distracted kids get with games on their watch. It also doesn't have the music function I want and we're not an Apple family so Id have to switch myself to an iPhone, which I don't want to do. Other kid-watches like the Gizmo seem too young for an 11 or 12 yo. We have a different version and it's okay for calling, but super glitchy with short battery life.

If someone came up with a great tween option, it would sell fabulously.

I agree on the need for an in between option. We did a gizmo for that when starting to commute by public buses to middle school and then switched to a Samsung watch.

But in general, many of the situations you mention would be better off without a phone.

Walking the dog, kids should be alert for traffic and listen to the birds sing and just let their minds wander. That's when the good deep thoughts come. I love music, too, but silence is so good for the brain and walks in the neighborhood are great times for mindfulness.

For forgotten items, most times it's a better lesson if they have to do without for the day. And better for the parents not to have to be alert for as potential text to drop everything to make a delivery.

For pickups, there are definitely times when a watch or a phone are convenient, but for most days, better to have a Plan A and a Plan B. This will be useful in life. If a kid has to wait a little longer, they can read a book, talk with friends, or just deal with their thoughts. Their mental health will be better off with some down time.

[Anonymous]

My DD is in (MOCO) 2nd grade and several of her classmates have phones, many with unrestricted access. They have youtube/tik tok accounts too. My DD used to run and play chase with kids at the bus stop but many are too busy on their phones. In her friend group, one girl usea her phone to make other kids in the group jealous. Anytime she had a playdate she would text the others saying how much fun she was having. My DD is the only one without a phone and won't be getting one until much later. Another girl got in trouble because her mom found her up at midnight on her phone.

The principal put out a message that kids should not bring phones to school as it must be an issue there as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is in (MOCO) 2nd grade and several of her classmates have phones, many with unrestricted access. They have youtube/tik tok accounts too. My DD used to run and play chase with kids at the bus stop but many are too busy on their phones. In her friend group, one girl usea her phone to make other kids in the group jealous. Anytime she had a playdate she would text the others saying how much fun she was having. My DD is the only one without a phone and won't be getting one until much later. Another girl got in trouble because her mom found her up at midnight on her phone.

The principal put out a message that kids should not bring phones to school as it must be an issue there as well.

I briefly worked in a 2nd grade classroom. I remember one girl boasting that she snuck out of her room last night, stole her sister's iPad, and played Roblox on it until 5 am. The kid was 8 years old.

[Anonymous]

We were a “Wait Until 7th” for our kids. That was the time they started to need to call us for pickups quite frequently, and we didn’t see the need to do a non-smart phone for a while first. Their use of our iPads and video games (mostly FIFA soccer) had always been reasonable, and their phone use has followed that pattern.

One thing I thought was interesting is that most of our friends who strictly followed the “Wait until 8th” plan either didn’t give their kids rules about using their phones in group settings or the kids ignored them. My kids are in HS now, and they are still not allowed to be on their phones during carpools in HS unless they are playing a game with other kids in the car or are using them some other way where the whole group is interacting. This often takes the form of trivia. Some of the kids I drive to and from practices will just sit there on their phones ignoring everyone else in the car. I find that so rude.

[Anonymous]

I got my son a phone at 13. He was probably the last kid in his grade to get one. I verified what he told me with his teachers (Catholic school where every kid had to leave their phone in a box on their teacher’s desk every day).

Waiting didn’t stop him from being just as addicted to it as everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are two teachers, one in ES and one in MS. MS spouse says that cell phones weren’t much of a problem for most of the SY. The admin is pretty quick to confiscate the phones and as soon as that started to happen the students decided they’d keep them put away rather than lose them.

Unfortunately a lot of schools don't do this - I'm looking at you, FCPS and your bullshit restorative justice crap. I'm about as liberal as you can get, but I still believe in consequences.

Same at our fancy private school. The lack of consequences and discipline is toxic BS but admin and parents seem blind to the impact it has on school culture.

Anyway, my DD is in a cohort of girls who mostly have older sisters. The older sisters have really suffered from phone-related drama and so parents in DD's grade are trying to unite everyone in a "phones in spring of 8th grade" pledge. I don't think it will work but I'm on board and feel better knowing that her most of her classmates have parents who are willing to talk about phones as a problem.

[Anonymous]

My two daughters got phones in 6th (MS) for us but without social media and with downtime/app limits. It’s honestly not been an issue at all and they are in later HS now. Still straight As/honors/AP, they go to sleep at their bedtimes, do lots of non-screen things with the family and with their friends.

They use their phones for texting and music mostly. Sometimes to watch streaming if they don’t have access to a TV.

I think most of the issues arise from not creating proper limits/scaffolding and poor modeling from the parents.

[Anonymous]

Read The Anxious Generation. Statistics say flip phone or watch at 14 and smartphone with no socials until 16.

[Anonymous]

It is possible to have a cell phone and not to use TikTok or other social media. It’s about teaching constraint and the negativity around any addiction. I know of DC in high school that is so addicted to cell phone now that they were finally allowed one in 10th grade that they sneak out to use the neighbor’s WiFi (since their parents shut theirs off at 10pm). So, it’s not just about age.

[Anonymous]

We are waiting until 8th grade possibly the end of 8th grade when my daughter turns 13. And they might be a moratorium on social media until she's a bit older than that.