For middle schoolers without phones…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t a kid without a phone just use email? Why does everything have to be texted?

They may as well make plans via telegram. They do not check email frequently enough to make spontaneous plans.

Don’t parents coordinate anyway, regardless of if the kids have phones? I’m not dropping my kid off at someone’s house if I haven’t heard from their parent to confirm

6th grade, sure. By 8th grade, no.

[Anonymous]

^^pp here. If I don’t know the parents, I will introduce myself when dropping my kid off or if they bring their child over. But by 7th/8th grade, I am not waiting for a call/text from another parent to confirm our kids’ plans.

[Anonymous]

My kid had a phone in MS but he didn’t want an instagram account (I would have been ok with it). He finally got one at the end of 8th grade and boy did his social life explode.
What I am saying is: unless your child is a true social butterfly and super popular, do them a favor and provide a tool for making plans. Who knew I should have suggested he made an instagram account lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t a kid without a phone just use email? Why does everything have to be texted?

They may as well make plans via telegram. They do not check email frequently enough to make spontaneous plans.

Don’t parents coordinate anyway, regardless of if the kids have phones? I’m not dropping my kid off at someone’s house if I haven’t heard from their parent to confirm

.

No, my 11 year old tells me where they are going and when they will be home and I don't feel the need to call parents or otherwise involve myself

lol right?? What do you expect from a parent who hands her 11 year old and iPhone and says good luck!

Okay, team helicopter. If the idea that an 11 year old should not be trusted to manage such a basic social interaction as making afternoon plans isn't a recipe for anxious and incapable kids then I don't know what is.

I don't think it's helicopter parenting to want to know who your 11 year old is with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t a kid without a phone just use email? Why does everything have to be texted?

They may as well make plans via telegram. They do not check email frequently enough to make spontaneous plans.

Don’t parents coordinate anyway, regardless of if the kids have phones? I’m not dropping my kid off at someone’s house if I haven’t heard from their parent to confirm

.

No, my 11 year old tells me where they are going and when they will be home and I don't feel the need to call parents or otherwise involve myself

lol right?? What do you expect from a parent who hands her 11 year old and iPhone and says good luck!

Okay, team helicopter. If the idea that an 11 year old should not be trusted to manage such a basic social interaction as making afternoon plans isn't a recipe for anxious and incapable kids then I don't know what is.

I don't think it's helicopter parenting to want to know who your 11 year old is with.

This is absolutely not about generally knowing who friends are, this is about inserting yourself every single time kids want to get together. I've met all my kid's close friends and their parents. It does not mean every single time larla wants to meet up with larlita I need to call larlita's mom and coordinate. We are talking about 11 year olds, not 4 year olds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter's best friend doesn't have a phone. She will make the plans in school and then have me text the mom. It's a pain and TBH, I really resent it. They pride themselves on being "phone free" but their kid uses the school chrome book the same way.

I tend to avoid trying to make plans with them as 13 years olds shouldn't need their mommies to arrange playdates.

You should have your daughter text the friends mom. Problem solved.

That’s what we did when my child didn’t have a phone and the other kids did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t a kid without a phone just use email? Why does everything have to be texted?

They may as well make plans via telegram. They do not check email frequently enough to make spontaneous plans.

Don’t parents coordinate anyway, regardless of if the kids have phones? I’m not dropping my kid off at someone’s house if I haven’t heard from their parent to confirm

.

No, my 11 year old tells me where they are going and when they will be home and I don't feel the need to call parents or otherwise involve myself

lol right?? What do you expect from a parent who hands her 11 year old and iPhone and says good luck!

Okay, team helicopter. If the idea that an 11 year old should not be trusted to manage such a basic social interaction as making afternoon plans isn't a recipe for anxious and incapable kids then I don't know what is.

I don't think it's helicopter parenting to want to know who your 11 year old is with.

That sounds good in theory, but here is what happened on a recent Friday afternoon. My sixth grader planned to walk to Larlo’s house after school. No wait now it’s Marlo’s. No now the group wants to come to our house. But wait! Farlo’s mom just went the store and got the good taquitos so they will go there.

All four kids have been at the same school/teams/pool for years and I know the parents well. It was all last minute and if I had been part of this while trying to work at 2:30 when MS got out I would have been pulling my hair out (or my kid would have been left out). Instead, I got the story at dinner and could just shrug and say “middle school boys.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t a kid without a phone just use email? Why does everything have to be texted?

They may as well make plans via telegram. They do not check email frequently enough to make spontaneous plans.

Don’t parents coordinate anyway, regardless of if the kids have phones? I’m not dropping my kid off at someone’s house if I haven’t heard from their parent to confirm

.

No, my 11 year old tells me where they are going and when they will be home and I don't feel the need to call parents or otherwise involve myself

lol right?? What do you expect from a parent who hands her 11 year old and iPhone and says good luck!

Okay, team helicopter. If the idea that an 11 year old should not be trusted to manage such a basic social interaction as making afternoon plans isn't a recipe for anxious and incapable kids then I don't know what is.

I don't think it's helicopter parenting to want to know who your 11 year old is with.

That sounds good in theory, but here is what happened on a recent Friday afternoon. My sixth grader planned to walk to Larlo’s house after school. No wait now it’s Marlo’s. No now the group wants to come to our house. But wait! Farlo’s mom just went the store and got the good taquitos so they will go there.

All four kids have been at the same school/teams/pool for years and I know the parents well. It was all last minute and if I had been part of this while trying to work at 2:30 when MS got out I would have been pulling my hair out (or my kid would have been left out). Instead, I got the story at dinner and could just shrug and say “middle school boys.”

So in this instance you did in fact know who your kid was with? Then this doesn't apply to you.

[Anonymous]

Before my daughter had a phone, she would just chat on her table with Google or discord. I would msg the parents for events. I still msg the parents to confirm.

[Anonymous]

My kid makes plans at school verbally. But even dumb phones can text and that's probably where we are headed next.

[Anonymous]

It’s quite clear some of these responders don’t actually have middle schoolers yet and are just imagining how they would like it to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter's best friend doesn't have a phone. She will make the plans in school and then have me text the mom. It's a pain and TBH, I really resent it. They pride themselves on being "phone free" but their kid uses the school chrome book the same way.

I tend to avoid trying to make plans with them as 13 years olds shouldn't need their mommies to arrange playdates.

Parents like you who give their kids phones and Social in middle school are negligent.

Sorry, not sorry. You are a terrible parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s quite clear some of these responders don’t actually have middle schoolers yet and are just imagining how they would like it to go.

If so, I hope they watch this and decide not to give middle schoolers a phone:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s quite clear some of these responders don’t actually have middle schoolers yet and are just imagining how they would like it to go.

LOL!! Agree!

[Anonymous]

No, I don't think so. Can we be a 100% certain, no of course not, but we can try.