Got an evite to a party from a former couples therapist from years ago

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a professional event designed to sell books. He probably invited all his former clients.

This. It's not a party, it's a book launch. Two different things.

It still seems like a unilateral disclosure of a sensitive professional relationship for his commercial purposes.

This is true IF everybody who was invited could see everybody else invited.
If they could not, there was no disclosure.

I disagree. I thought that even if the therapist ran into you in public, they are not even supposed to acknowledge you unless you approach them. Inviting you to a party for any reason breaches that. The therapist should never be contacting you for anything but your care or admin and billing issues.

It could be that he accidentally sent it to his entire contact list. If I had inkling it was intentional I would consider reporting it (and if it's all so above board like people are saying, they can just dismiss it).

[Anonymous]

I've known people who pay cash for therapy, concerned about privacy, clearances, etc

What! You are absolutely not supposed to do that if your condition may fall within the parameters of question 21E on the SF-86. If you do that and hide it and get caught you could be in trouble for violating a criminal law.

If it doesn't potentially fall within those parameters, you don't need to disclose it and can do. I have see a therapist to help me cope with with my child's multiple disabilities and my security officer and person doing my background investigation know, and said no need to check the box on that form.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I've known people who pay cash for therapy, concerned about privacy, clearances, etc. Making the professional relationship public unilaterally for his own mercenary reasons was unexpected in the era of HIPPA releases, etc. It feels a wee bit exploitative as well. Although, I'm sure some of the invitees may be neighbors and the like.

If this is now considered an accepted practice, perhaps I won't share an email with a future therapist for billing use. I have never received a social event invite from any other medical provider.

I would have perceived an email about the book launch differently than a fairly public invite to a public event. This guy used to talk a LOT about boundaries and so this was very unexpected. Invitees were public.

Initially I thought it must be a glitch of some sort but there was no follow up email apologizing as is usual in that circumstance. So the PP who said it was likely not in error is probably correct.

I was considering returning to therapy re: an extended family issue, but now I'm wondering how to pick someone since I feel I misjudged this guy. I had even thought of returning to his practice. At a difficult time I had relied on his advice/guidance re: the wellbeing of my kids and now I wonder if that was naive trust. My interpretation of his "boundaries" focus was not in line with his, apparently. Nor was my understanding of professional relationship disclosure for commercial purposes. If it was just about the party invite I would have marked it as spam and moved on, but now I'm questioning my judgement of people and understanding of norms in that field.

If it was an open evite where everybody on it could see all of the people invited, it was inapropriate. If not, it wasn't.

But when or if they show up...

That is a choice that people get to make. The therapist would not have outed anybody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a professional event designed to sell books. He probably invited all his former clients.

This. It's not a party, it's a book launch. Two different things.

It still seems like a unilateral disclosure of a sensitive professional relationship for his commercial purposes.

This is true IF everybody who was invited could see everybody else invited.
If they could not, there was no disclosure.

I disagree. I thought that even if the therapist ran into you in public, they are not even supposed to acknowledge you unless you approach them. Inviting you to a party for any reason breaches that. The therapist should never be contacting you for anything but your care or admin and billing issues.

It could be that he accidentally sent it to his entire contact list. If I had inkling it was intentional I would consider reporting it (and if it's all so above board like people are saying, they can just dismiss it).

Where would you report it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a professional event designed to sell books. He probably invited all his former clients.

This. It's not a party, it's a book launch. Two different things.

It still seems like a unilateral disclosure of a sensitive professional relationship for his commercial purposes.

This is true IF everybody who was invited could see everybody else invited.
If they could not, there was no disclosure.

I disagree. I thought that even if the therapist ran into you in public, they are not even supposed to acknowledge you unless you approach them. Inviting you to a party for any reason breaches that. The therapist should never be contacting you for anything but your care or admin and billing issues.

It could be that he accidentally sent it to his entire contact list. If I had inkling it was intentional I would consider reporting it (and if it's all so above board like people are saying, they can just dismiss it).

If the invite list was not open, nothing happened "in public."
It is not a party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a therapist and this feels weird to me, OP.

That said, I don't know why you're questioning YOUR judgment, that seems like overthinking it. Don't go and don't use this person again.

OP - thanks for your feedback from the field. This was quite different than my prior impression of him, so I'm questioning if I was naive or missed red flags at a vulnerable time or if I was too accepting of advice from someone whose judgment I'm now questioning. Or if I had some misunderstanding of the professional boundaries around therapy, disclosure and use of my information.

When picking a therapist I went on recommendations from friends and acquaintances (he was recommended by a few people), gut feelings and no public complaints at the time. If anyone has best practices to share about vetting, please share. I understand it's imperfect based on limited information.

Prior therapist and ex used to talk a lot about luxury cars so maybe it's just down to greed and wanting a big crowd at the book launch and sales. I have to assume the inclusion of identifying information was deliberate or not a concern for him as there has been no subsequent communication re: an error. When I saw the PII I immediately deleted but it did seem to be a big list, as a PP said, possibly all former clients. If I choose a new therapist I will raise the issue of use of contact information that is not covered by HIPAA or a court order, but for commercial purposes. Live and learn, I suppose. Just felt a bit blindsided and as though my trust had been misplaced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a therapist and this feels weird to me, OP.

That said, I don't know why you're questioning YOUR judgment, that seems like overthinking it. Don't go and don't use this person again.

OP - thanks for your feedback from the field. This was quite different than my prior impression of him, so I'm questioning if I was naive or missed red flags at a vulnerable time or if I was too accepting of advice from someone whose judgment I'm now questioning. Or if I had some misunderstanding of the professional boundaries around therapy, disclosure and use of my information.

When picking a therapist I went on recommendations from friends and acquaintances (he was recommended by a few people), gut feelings and no public complaints at the time. If anyone has best practices to share about vetting, please share. I understand it's imperfect based on limited information.

Prior therapist and ex used to talk a lot about luxury cars so maybe it's just down to greed and wanting a big crowd at the book launch and sales. I have to assume the inclusion of identifying information was deliberate or not a concern for him as there has been no subsequent communication re: an error. When I saw the PII I immediately deleted but it did seem to be a big list, as a PP said, possibly all former clients. If I choose a new therapist I will raise the issue of use of contact information that is not covered by HIPAA or a court order, but for commercial purposes. Live and learn, I suppose. Just felt a bit blindsided and as though my trust had been misplaced.

OP, was the invite list open or wasn't it?

[Anonymous]

I'm wondering why you recommended him to others when he didn't help you and your ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a professional event designed to sell books. He probably invited all his former clients.

This. It's not a party, it's a book launch. Two different things.

It still seems like a unilateral disclosure of a sensitive professional relationship for his commercial purposes.

This is true IF everybody who was invited could see everybody else invited.
If they could not, there was no disclosure.

I disagree. I thought that even if the therapist ran into you in public, they are not even supposed to acknowledge you unless you approach them. Inviting you to a party for any reason breaches that. The therapist should never be contacting you for anything but your care or admin and billing issues.

It could be that he accidentally sent it to his entire contact list. If I had inkling it was intentional I would consider reporting it (and if it's all so above board like people are saying, they can just dismiss it).

Where would you report it?

DP https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-is-state-mind/201901/what-happens-when-you-encounter-your-therapist-in-public

Confidentiality is the most important factor

As it turns out, your therapist may be just as surprised to see you as you are to see him, but the most important aspect of this potentially awkward encounter is maintaining confidentiality. Therapists, and all healthcare professionals for that matter, are obligated to respect your confidentiality, meaning that they cannot share any information with non-health professionals regarding your current or past psychological history, nor are they allowed to disclose that they are your therapist and you are undergoing therapy. The main reason for this is to ensure your trust and safety so therefore your therapist may actually ignore you in public out of fear that they may break confidentiality.

I suppose a book party invite list could be seen as going to a mix of former clients, neighbors, relatives, colleagues, etc., but with an exposed list it is certainly not sensitive to the issue of confidentiality. I suppose current or former clients who chose to attend would be consenting to potential disclosure of the therapeutic relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a professional event designed to sell books. He probably invited all his former clients.

This. It's not a party, it's a book launch. Two different things.

It still seems like a unilateral disclosure of a sensitive professional relationship for his commercial purposes.

This is true IF everybody who was invited could see everybody else invited.
If they could not, there was no disclosure.

I disagree. I thought that even if the therapist ran into you in public, they are not even supposed to acknowledge you unless you approach them. Inviting you to a party for any reason breaches that. The therapist should never be contacting you for anything but your care or admin and billing issues.

It could be that he accidentally sent it to his entire contact list. If I had inkling it was intentional I would consider reporting it (and if it's all so above board like people are saying, they can just dismiss it).

Where would you report it?

DP https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-is-state-mind/201901/what-happens-when-you-encounter-your-therapist-in-public

Confidentiality is the most important factor

As it turns out, your therapist may be just as surprised to see you as you are to see him, but the most important aspect of this potentially awkward encounter is maintaining confidentiality. Therapists, and all healthcare professionals for that matter, are obligated to respect your confidentiality, meaning that they cannot share any information with non-health professionals regarding your current or past psychological history, nor are they allowed to disclose that they are your therapist and you are undergoing therapy. The main reason for this is to ensure your trust and safety so therefore your therapist may actually ignore you in public out of fear that they may break confidentiality.

I suppose a book party invite list could be seen as going to a mix of former clients, neighbors, relatives, colleagues, etc., but with an exposed list it is certainly not sensitive to the issue of confidentiality. I suppose current or former clients who chose to attend would be consenting to potential disclosure of the therapeutic relationship.

How does this answer the question you quoted?

And it still is not at all clear whether the individual names of all invitees was public, so not clear if the above even applies...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm wondering why you recommended him to others when he didn't help you and your ex.

OP. Therapist had seemed helpful to the situation despite saving the marriage being impossible due to some serious issues ex refused to address at the time. He seemed supportive, had helpful advice re: the kids since he also did family therapy, talked a lot to ex about generational boundaries and not parentifying the kids, how to build a workable co-parenting relationship moving forward, etc. He seemed measured and constructive, the vibe was that of a wise, experienced guide. Ex and I both felt he added positively.

So for people whose marriages were less fundamentally broken, seemed like he might have been a fit. The people who had recommended him to me seemed to have benefited, their marriages seemed happier (then and now, they are all still together). One person/couple I recommended him to also seemed to have a very positive outcome/experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm wondering why you recommended him to others when he didn't help you and your ex.

OP. Therapist had seemed helpful to the situation despite saving the marriage being impossible due to some serious issues ex refused to address at the time. He seemed supportive, had helpful advice re: the kids since he also did family therapy, talked a lot to ex about generational boundaries and not parentifying the kids, how to build a workable co-parenting relationship moving forward, etc. He seemed measured and constructive, the vibe was that of a wise, experienced guide. Ex and I both felt he added positively.

So for people whose marriages were less fundamentally broken, seemed like he might have been a fit. The people who had recommended him to me seemed to have benefited, their marriages seemed happier (then and now, they are all still together). One person/couple I recommended him to also seemed to have a very positive outcome/experience.

Can you please answer the question of whether or not all people on the invite list could see the names and emails of other people on the list?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a professional event designed to sell books. He probably invited all his former clients.

This. It's not a party, it's a book launch. Two different things.

It still seems like a unilateral disclosure of a sensitive professional relationship for his commercial purposes.

This is true IF everybody who was invited could see everybody else invited.
If they could not, there was no disclosure.

I disagree. I thought that even if the therapist ran into you in public, they are not even supposed to acknowledge you unless you approach them. Inviting you to a party for any reason breaches that. The therapist should never be contacting you for anything but your care or admin and billing issues.

It could be that he accidentally sent it to his entire contact list. If I had inkling it was intentional I would consider reporting it (and if it's all so above board like people are saying, they can just dismiss it).

Where would you report it?

Licensing board in that state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a professional event designed to sell books. He probably invited all his former clients.

This. It's not a party, it's a book launch. Two different things.

It still seems like a unilateral disclosure of a sensitive professional relationship for his commercial purposes.

This is true IF everybody who was invited could see everybody else invited.
If they could not, there was no disclosure.

I disagree. I thought that even if the therapist ran into you in public, they are not even supposed to acknowledge you unless you approach them. Inviting you to a party for any reason breaches that. The therapist should never be contacting you for anything but your care or admin and billing issues.

It could be that he accidentally sent it to his entire contact list. If I had inkling it was intentional I would consider reporting it (and if it's all so above board like people are saying, they can just dismiss it).

If the invite list was not open, nothing happened "in public."
It is not a party.

There isn't even supposed to be any relationship other than patient and doctor. It would be inappropriate even to invite OP and her spouse to a private dinner at the therapist's home with no one else, much less to a party with members of the public, and being a book release party may even have extensive social media or press coverage. While the therapist acted in a professional capacity with regard to OP, I would not consider OP a professional contact in the same way as a colleague. OP is his patient. There are boundaries that shouldn't be crossed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm wondering why you recommended him to others when he didn't help you and your ex.

OP. Therapist had seemed helpful to the situation despite saving the marriage being impossible due to some serious issues ex refused to address at the time. He seemed supportive, had helpful advice re: the kids since he also did family therapy, talked a lot to ex about generational boundaries and not parentifying the kids, how to build a workable co-parenting relationship moving forward, etc. He seemed measured and constructive, the vibe was that of a wise, experienced guide. Ex and I both felt he added positively.

So for people whose marriages were less fundamentally broken, seemed like he might have been a fit. The people who had recommended him to me seemed to have benefited, their marriages seemed happier (then and now, they are all still together). One person/couple I recommended him to also seemed to have a very positive outcome/experience.

Can you please answer the question of whether or not all people on the invite list could see the names and emails of other people on the list?

OP - yes