Got an evite to a party from a former couples therapist from years ago

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I've known people who pay cash for therapy, concerned about privacy, clearances, etc. Making the professional relationship public unilaterally for his own mercenary reasons was unexpected in the era of HIPPA releases, etc. It feels a wee bit exploitative as well. Although, I'm sure some of the invitees may be neighbors and the like.

If this is now considered an accepted practice, perhaps I won't share an email with a future therapist for billing use. I have never received a social event invite from any other medical provider.

I would have perceived an email about the book launch differently than a fairly public invite to a public event. This guy used to talk a LOT about boundaries and so this was very unexpected. Invitees were public.

Initially I thought it must be a glitch of some sort but there was no follow up email apologizing as is usual in that circumstance. So the PP who said it was likely not in error is probably correct.

I was considering returning to therapy re: an extended family issue, but now I'm wondering how to pick someone since I feel I misjudged this guy. I had even thought of returning to his practice. At a difficult time I had relied on his advice/guidance re: the wellbeing of my kids and now I wonder if that was naive trust. My interpretation of his "boundaries" focus was not in line with his, apparently. Nor was my understanding of professional relationship disclosure for commercial purposes. If it was just about the party invite I would have marked it as spam and moved on, but now I'm questioning my judgement of people and understanding of norms in that field.

If it was an open evite where everybody on it could see all of the people invited, it was inapropriate. If not, it wasn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a professional event designed to sell books. He probably invited all his former clients.

This. It's not a party, it's a book launch. Two different things.

It still seems like a unilateral disclosure of a sensitive professional relationship for his commercial purposes.

This is true IF everybody who was invited could see everybody else invited.
If they could not, there was no disclosure.

[Anonymous]

It seems like many posters would be comfortable with a therapist who would do this.

To me it's a different type of relationship, than say if my mechanic invited all customers to a bbq to celebrate his opening of his own shop. Inviting therapy clients to a public event to try to sell something seems off, and disclosing emails/names in evite is problematic and exhibits poor judgement. Given that therapy involves the client relying on the ethics boundaries and JUDGEMENT of the therapist, far from ideal. And some might feel compelled to attend the public event and buy the book due to the particular nature of the relationship.

I guess one could document in the record that email is not to be used for marketing or to be shared without a waiver. Since so many say they would be ok, this may be a new norm and something to raise directly if it is a concern.

[Anonymous]

I'm a therapist and this feels weird to me, OP.

That said, I don't know why you're questioning YOUR judgment, that seems like overthinking it. Don't go and don't use this person again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I've known people who pay cash for therapy, concerned about privacy, clearances, etc. Making the professional relationship public unilaterally for his own mercenary reasons was unexpected in the era of HIPPA releases, etc. It feels a wee bit exploitative as well. Although, I'm sure some of the invitees may be neighbors and the like.

If this is now considered an accepted practice, perhaps I won't share an email with a future therapist for billing use. I have never received a social event invite from any other medical provider.

I would have perceived an email about the book launch differently than a fairly public invite to a public event. This guy used to talk a LOT about boundaries and so this was very unexpected. Invitees were public.

Initially I thought it must be a glitch of some sort but there was no follow up email apologizing as is usual in that circumstance. So the PP who said it was likely not in error is probably correct.

I was considering returning to therapy re: an extended family issue, but now I'm wondering how to pick someone since I feel I misjudged this guy. I had even thought of returning to his practice. At a difficult time I had relied on his advice/guidance re: the wellbeing of my kids and now I wonder if that was naive trust. My interpretation of his "boundaries" focus was not in line with his, apparently. Nor was my understanding of professional relationship disclosure for commercial purposes. If it was just about the party invite I would have marked it as spam and moved on, but now I'm questioning my judgement of people and understanding of norms in that field.

oh jesus. give it a rest. You do need therapy and you don't need to hide it. You're not being exploited. Just click no. He probably included his lawn people and his mom's florist. You're not standing out as special. Just decline. But hopefully he reads this and knows who you are and sends you a free signed copy.

[Anonymous]

ITs not like he sent out a town cryer to call everyone's name publicly.

What a princess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a therapist and this feels weird to me, OP.

That said, I don't know why you're questioning YOUR judgment, that seems like overthinking it. Don't go and don't use this person again.

+1 why does this have you questioning your own judgment? I do t get it.

[Anonymous]

Don’t ^^

[Anonymous]

I would be furious! Totally unethical for him to put anything in the public domain that outs you as a client.

[Anonymous]

It's weird because by going everyone is outting themselves as to how they know him- I mean how's that small talk going to go?
He was tone deaf if sending these evites. Ignore it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ITs not like he sent out a town cryer to call everyone's name publicly.

What a princess.

Yeah, he did exactly that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I've known people who pay cash for therapy, concerned about privacy, clearances, etc. Making the professional relationship public unilaterally for his own mercenary reasons was unexpected in the era of HIPPA releases, etc. It feels a wee bit exploitative as well. Although, I'm sure some of the invitees may be neighbors and the like.

If this is now considered an accepted practice, perhaps I won't share an email with a future therapist for billing use. I have never received a social event invite from any other medical provider.

I would have perceived an email about the book launch differently than a fairly public invite to a public event. This guy used to talk a LOT about boundaries and so this was very unexpected. Invitees were public.

Initially I thought it must be a glitch of some sort but there was no follow up email apologizing as is usual in that circumstance. So the PP who said it was likely not in error is probably correct.

I was considering returning to therapy re: an extended family issue, but now I'm wondering how to pick someone since I feel I misjudged this guy. I had even thought of returning to his practice. At a difficult time I had relied on his advice/guidance re: the wellbeing of my kids and now I wonder if that was naive trust. My interpretation of his "boundaries" focus was not in line with his, apparently. Nor was my understanding of professional relationship disclosure for commercial purposes. If it was just about the party invite I would have marked it as spam and moved on, but now I'm questioning my judgement of people and understanding of norms in that field.

If it was an open evite where everybody on it could see all of the people invited, it was inapropriate. If not, it wasn't.

But when or if they show up...

[Anonymous]

I would have zero issue with getting the invite (I feel there is nothing to be ashamed of re therapy), but would not be interested in attending, so would not do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I received an evite to a book launch party from a former couples therapist I saw with ex-spouse a decade or so ago. He didn't really help us (ex was having an affair) but seemed well meaning, I may have recommended him a few times on here to people looking for someone in MoCo.

At first I thought maybe his account was compromised and thought there would be an email to that effect, but no. Seems like a weird boundary crossing to me, is this considered a way to fill social events now? Seems so awkward. I haven't seen a therapist in a few years, maybe I'm out of touch with current ethics?

Bizarre and inappropriate. (I’m a therapist). I would decline and move on.

[Anonymous]

Was the invitee list public? If so, I get your concern.
If not, I see absolutely no issue with it. It's a book launch relating to his profession, correct? Seems fine to send a non-public invite, which is not a summons.