Adults who were third culture kids

[Anonymous]

I’ve lived all over and also have immigrant parents so I really do not belong. I am always surprised at how comfortable and almost… clueless(?) adults are who were born in the same town as their parents were and graduated from the same high school their dads did. Have a child now and I’m not sure which is better for DC - clueless and contented comfort, or more complicated and observational non-belonging.

[Anonymous]

I mean it is best if you were born, grow up, studied, worked, grow old in the same place. No major change, extended networks nearby. But I think if you live this life you might yearn for change or to live somewhere else. It takes leaving and not being able to go back to realize the ideal scenario.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve lived all over and also have immigrant parents so I really do not belong. I am always surprised at how comfortable and almost… clueless(?) adults are who were born in the same town as their parents were and graduated from the same high school their dads did. Have a child now and I’m not sure which is better for DC - clueless and contented comfort, or more complicated and observational non-belonging.

I feel this way and am US-born with no immigrants closer than the great-grandparent generation. I moved to a part of the US where it's better to be nice than smart, lol. So I shut my mouth and watch a lot. Complicated and observational non-belonging sums it up nicely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean it is best if you were born, grow up, studied, worked, grow old in the same place. No major change, extended networks nearby. But I think if you live this life you might yearn for change or to live somewhere else. It takes leaving and not being able to go back to realize the ideal scenario.

why is this the ideal scenario?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:multiple countries and also changing schools every year, parents "divorcing" every year, infidelity on both sides, drama daily...great for my job in mental health because you know -it feels like home LOL, however as PP said no sense of belonging, now live the counterpoint of my childhood, very boring life in DMV, insisted kids stay in same house from KG to college.....

This exactly.

What do you mean, your parents "divorced" every year? This (divorce, infidelity) doesn't sound like a third culture thing, it sounds like your parents had a bad relationship

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 3rd culture kid who had an American and a European parent. I lived in 8 countries before moving to the US for college.

Major Advantage - Experiencing a wide range of cultures

Disadvantage - Feeling like you don't belong anywhere

That's it in a nutshell.

+1. Another pro is that it can be easier to empathize with others because you have seen different perspectives.

I would expand that to say the view of the world and people is immeasurably larger, better ability to adapt to other cultures and ways of thinking

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 3rd culture kid who had an American and a European parent. I lived in 8 countries before moving to the US for college.

Major Advantage - Experiencing a wide range of cultures

Disadvantage - Feeling like you don't belong anywhere

That's it in a nutshell.

This sums it up. Im an immigrant and came at 11 so it was a big shift but I'm still bilingual, bi cultural. Teaching my kids my native language. Dh is american but he's embraced it all and had been absorbed into my family and culture

Immigrant does not necessarily equal third-culture kid. You need to have lived in another culture during your formative childhood years that is not your parents and is not your current nationality or passport. My younger sibling claims to be a TCK and I just roll my eyes at her. To her it's a cool identity to have.

According to the TCK literature, a person who has grown up with immigrants in their own country (e.g., a child of immigrants) is actually a TCK.

[Anonymous]

Grew up in different countries. I think most Americans, even "well-traveled" Americans, are pretty clueless and have a very limited perspective in a way that you can't explain unless you know. It's similar to when you are talking with someone who is very dumb but you can't tell them that and you can't explain it to them. Sorry.