Dating a hygiene obsessed person

[Anonymous]

been there, done that. if you want to continue the relationship, you have 2 options that you can control. 1) become impervious to his comments, and continue your chosen behavior 2) adopt the practice, regardless of if you agree with the rational.

word of caution- option 2 can be a people-pleasing pitfall/timebomb. if you really disagree, but hold your tongue for the peace, beware of self-gaslighting.

[Anonymous]

OP - can you ask him to install TOTO bidet? He will realize you are washing feet and privates, but you wouldn't need to take a full shower before bed. I also take shower after my gym workout at 7pm, but I also wash off using Bidet before going to bed.

And in some cultures (muslim, Eastern European) it's a really bad tone to go to bed without washing your feet. Men play in bed with women's feet as well.

[Anonymous]

I wouldnt recommend having children with someone this rigid. He's pestering you, a grown adult, how horrible is he going to be to messy crazy children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I know I should be happy I found the love of my life who happens to have good hygiene. I once went on a couple of dates with a guy who said he showered once a week tops. I just wish he was more a little more relaxed about hygiene. I don’t mind that he showers or that we change the sheets often. I just don’t want him pestering me about showering before bed.

I love him and adore him but I do feel that this can lead to a breakup if he keeps passively aggressively making comments or keeps pestering me about it.

How can you not shower before going to bed? That’s nasty.

[Anonymous]

Have fun showering your life away!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:been there, done that. if you want to continue the relationship, you have 2 options that you can control. 1) become impervious to his comments, and continue your chosen behavior 2) adopt the practice, regardless of if you agree with the rational.

word of caution- option 2 can be a people-pleasing pitfall/timebomb. if you really disagree, but hold your tongue for the peace, beware of self-gaslighting.

This. You cannot change him. You can only control your reaction to him.

[Anonymous]

I'm curious who changes the sheets every other day and washes them, OP? Is that what he has always done and will continue to do? I certainly wouldn't take on that responsibility, that's insane. I love a fresh bed as much as the next person, but that happens no more than once a week and more like two at my house! The water bill must be sky high, though I do agree that a shower after a workout is a necessity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - can you ask him to install TOTO bidet? He will realize you are washing feet and privates, but you wouldn't need to take a full shower before bed. I also take shower after my gym workout at 7pm, but I also wash off using Bidet before going to bed.

And in some cultures (muslim, Eastern European) it's a really bad tone to go to bed without washing your feet. Men play in bed with women's feet as well.

OP here. He has a bidet attachment we both use but it’s not for your feet. I don’t even know how that would work with washing feet.

We don’t do feet stuff.

I know he doesn’t always wash up except for his face and groin. He will skip hair and body and just stand there under hot water. He says the hot shower makes him tired and relaxed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious who changes the sheets every other day and washes them, OP? Is that what he has always done and will continue to do? I certainly wouldn't take on that responsibility, that's insane. I love a fresh bed as much as the next person, but that happens no more than once a week and more like two at my house! The water bill must be sky high, though I do agree that a shower after a workout is a necessity.

OP here. He does it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldnt recommend having children with someone this rigid. He's pestering you, a grown adult, how horrible is he going to be to messy crazy children?

It's the rigidity that does it for me too, not just about showering. There's no way this doesn't manifest in other areas and I don't get along well with inflexible people, so he's a solid no for me. Kids with people like this is hard.

[Anonymous]

Apparently OP just wants to hear herself talk.

Cool, 👍

[Anonymous]

He sounds prissy.

[Anonymous]

Why did you even post OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have fun showering your life away!

😂😂😇

This cracked me up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldnt recommend having children with someone this rigid. He's pestering you, a grown adult, how horrible is he going to be to messy crazy children?

It's the rigidity that does it for me too, not just about showering. There's no way this doesn't manifest in other areas and I don't get along well with inflexible people, so he's a solid no for me. Kids with people like this is hard.

Agree.

OP, what’s you intimate time like? Does he go downtown? Does he even like being intimate?