Fellow atheists, how do you instill good values/ethics in your children?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Grownups are thankfully capable of a higher plane of moral reasoning. Lets hope your God isn't the only thing keeping you from going on a murderous spree.


Oh, sure, that's fine for the easy stuff like don't lie, don't steal, don't cheat, don't hurt others--you know, the Golden Rule based stuff. But where are our children going to learn that homosexuals will burn in the lake of fire for eternity? Or that Jews don't go to heaven?

You need a church for that stuff.
Anonymous
Religion does not have a monopoly on morals and ethics. Secular civilization and government is vested in the idea that a common shared code of morals and ethical benefits society and survival. Law is about justice, fairness and process but its foundation is within ethics and morals. This common code does not come from a deity or church doctrine but from the democratic process which is the big difference between religion.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Grownups are thankfully capable of a higher plane of moral reasoning. Lets hope your God isn't the only thing keeping you from going on a murderous spree.


Oh, sure, that's fine for the easy stuff like don't lie, don't steal, don't cheat, don't hurt others--you know, the Golden Rule based stuff. But where are our children going to learn that homosexuals will burn in the lake of fire for eternity? Or that Jews don't go to heaven?

You need a church for that stuff.



Hilarious!


I think the OP must be a troll too for even asking such a stupid question in the first place.
You don't need God in order to have ethics or a moral compass.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Grownups are thankfully capable of a higher plane of moral reasoning. Lets hope your God isn't the only thing keeping you from going on a murderous spree.


So why do people want to do "the right thing"? Just for the sake of it?


Because it is part of being civilized and respecting your fellow humans. That's not just for fun, it's what's good for all of us. It has a higher meaning without the higher being.
Anonymous
I'm not sure why religion equates ethics or moral compass. Sure, religion is used to pass along some concepts of ethics, etc. but it is not the thing itself. It is one of the tools commonly used to convey the importance of certain behaviors we find desirable to maintain a harmonious society. I was raised an atheist and I'm all for religious teachings imparting these concepts. I think it's important. I am, however, troubled by the idea that people might think it is the only way to teach ethics. If you can't come up with a way to teach ethics without the structure of religion, by all means find a religion that suits your belief system. There are a lot of choices out there.
Anonymous
I think most of you are missing the point. The question is not religion vs. no religion; the question is structure vs. no structure. The structure may be religious or not. Some people feel confident that they are doing a great job raising good citizens on their own; some people find it helpful to have institutional reinforcement, a time set aside every week that is dedicated to ethical/moral issues, etc.
Anonymous
I think most of you are missing the point. The question is not religion vs. no religion; the question is structure vs. no structure. The structure may be religious or not. Some people feel confident that they are doing a great job raising good citizens on their own; some people find it helpful to have institutional reinforcement, a time set aside every week that is dedicated to ethical/moral issues, etc.


ITA. I'm not the OP, but we could use some more structure over here. As it is right now, our moral and ethical teaching is totally ad hoc and on the fly.

I would like to work within a framework to impart at least a minimum of ethical teaching to DS every single week, in the event that I didn't do a good job that week remembering Teachable Moments, TM.

I'm an atheist who grew up in a devoutly Catholic household. I am big enough to admit that there are certain features of Catholic indoctrination that even I admire, still. Namely, getting together with your peers in a structured way, with an adult leader, and talking about right and wrong and the challenges we face in doing The Right Thing.

Why would it make me a troll to inquire about something irreligious, yet akin to CCD 1x-a-week for DS?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Why would it make me a troll to inquire about something irreligious, yet akin to CCD 1x-a-week for DS?



It wouldn't. And no one's called you one. Unless you're the PP who wrote, "What's the point of teaching morals and ethics? Those are only things forced on people by religion."

That was clearly someone trolling to get a reaction from non-religious folks by implying that without religion there can be no morals or ethics.
Anonymous
Teach by example, of course. Also teaching them to think about consequences of their actions and how they would affect them and other people (hard for younger kids to learn, but you can start the thought process and older kids get it).

Morals are developed based on influences from society, common sense, and an individual's own moral reasoning skills. People don't need an organization or religion to tell them how to be moral.

Have you looked into secular humanism? Perhaps something like that would suit you as it would provide a more concrete way of doing things.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Grownups are thankfully capable of a higher plane of moral reasoning. Lets hope your God isn't the only thing keeping you from going on a murderous spree.


ITA!!!
Anonymous
@11:16

That is very true. As a Unitarian, I can say that our congregation is definitely full of progressives. I can't remember ever meeting a Unitarian who wasn't liberal.

(That's why I like it so much! )
Anonymous
Anyway...

I just talk to my kids about what my husband and I believe is right and wrong. And we try to lead by example. We don't feel any need for an organized doctrine.
Anonymous
You might check out Parenting Beyond Belief. I have a copy on my bookshelf that I haven't yet gotten around to reading but have heard very good things.

http://www.parentingbeyondbelief.com/
Anonymous
Like it (or not) our modern societies concepts of morals, ethics, values, etc can be traced to ancient Jewish teachings (ie don't steal, don't kill, don't lie, etc).
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Like it (or not) our modern societies concepts of morals, ethics, values, etc can be traced to ancient Jewish teachings (ie don't steal, don't kill, don't lie, etc).


While we definitely have a history of organized religion' defining and enforcing social laws and norms, there have been several recent studies of human behavior that demonstrate that being good to one another actually contributes to our survival. So we may just have evolved that way as well.
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